A TEETOTAL LECTURE.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3013, 21 February 1881, Page 4

A TEETOTAL LECTURE.

Ho was a littlo fat, uneducated fellow, with a turned up nose and large mouth. But how he did jump and throw himself about as ho delivered his first lecutro on "Strong Drink I" "Ma freens," said he, " the first thing I wad dae, if I had the wull an' the means—l wad teer the signs all' a' the whusky shops, smash doon a' the hotal baui'3, get them a' in a'e heap, pile up a' the yill barrels an' whusky kegs, no even takin'time tac screw the quid nr.--. spoots oot o' them, set fire tae the lot—yea that the lows an' the reek micht ascend within three or four mile o' heaven—an kick the awse tae the faur'est black corner o , the bottomless pit. Yea, the gill an mutchkin stoups, the glesses and tumlers,l wad sink them a' in the Bay o' Biscuits, for habitations tae the moles an' the bats. thae big fat brewers an' inn-kespers wi their great big Avais' coats—yea, hard labor I wad gi'e them, till they were thin eneuch tae shave their baird wi' their am should erbleds, that the soond o' their dry banes micht be heard frae Nebuchadnaizar tae Beersheba an' back* That's the cure for the raimedy, ma freens."