THE SORROWFUL MAN FROM COLUMBUS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3002, 8 February 1881, Page 4

THE SORROWFUL MAN FROM COLUMBUS.

At the Union depot, the other morning, Officer Button observed a tall, long-legged stranger, who seemed to be clothed mostly in a linen duster, -wipe his eyes and blow his nose like one suffering mental distress, and he approached and asked the cause. "Ob, lots of things," replied the man, BB he shook out his handkerchief. Is there a camp meeting anywhere around here?" "Not that I know of." " And they don't have any pvay«^- meeti " Jngs here in the daytime ? " "No." " i here isn't anybody around the depot ■who makes a speciality of singing Gospel hymns, is there ? " " Don't know of anybody. Has your ■wife run away ? " " No ; I never had one." " Lost your wallet ? " " No ; 1 never carry a wallet." " Anybody abused you ? " "Ho; everybody is kind to me." " Then why this sorrow and these tears ? Strong men do not weep without strong cause." " I weep—-I weep because the world is cold—beoause it is wicked —beoause human nature has become suspicious. I weep because another sun has risen on the evil passions of men." " Are you naturally sorrowful ? " " 1 am. I sometimes wish 1 wasn't that way. How long before the Lake Shore train goes ?" " About twelve minutes." " Then I will spend eleven minutes in further weeping. Have you a private room in which I can sit and cry ?" " > k; ay, old man, what's your lay ?" asked the officer, after looking him over. "My lay is weepin. lam the sorrowful man from Columbus." " That's too thin. What's the particular racket this morning ?" " Won't you give me away ?" asked the man, after a fresh dig at his eyes. "No." " I'm dead broke and I want to get to Toledo. Tbe conductor who goes out on this train stands over there, and I'm weeping for his benefit. He has already remarked my grief, and he wonders what ails me. When he asks me for my ticket I'll either be a missionary who weeps over the avarice of railroad corporations and appeal to his oharity, or a country parson who lost his money on the confidence game. Now, let me weep some more." He wept some more, and then said: " It's the best lay in the world. It's a hundred times ahead of cheek or riding on the springs, and it costs me nothing, and is always ready. I cried my way from Columbus to Indianapolis, wept from there to Chicago, and then sobbed myself along to Detroit. I now weep that I may see Toledo, and I shall depend upon emotion to scoot me through to Columbus in good style. I will now edge along toward the conductor and give way to an extra burst of mingled grief and contrition. Ta-ta, old blue coat — don't give away a man who couldn't raise a nickel if his eyes should give out to-mor row." —Detroit Free Press.