Diversions

Dominion, Volume 28, Issue 98, 19 January 1935, Page 18

Diversions

THE YOUNG SWAGGER We have seen the Old Year out and away, Over the lintel and down the drive. What have you got.iu your waiict, eh? What are you bringing us. ’Thirtyfive? Do you mark the dawn of a fairer day, A truce to passions that rend and rive, To jarring faction and futile fray? ■The world still hums, like an angry hive, From steel-ringed Europe to far Cathay. Will you heal the bitterness, ’Thirtyfive? Our leaders grope, as the blind stray; Like beasts of burden they strain and strive, Hither and thither they bend and sway. Till only despots, it seems, survive. Little but platitudes some convey, Nothing but formulas most contrive. Will you lighten care and unrest allay, And loosen trade from the cramping gyve, Till sunshine scatters the clouds of gray. Till peace and plenty once more arrive? Will you straighten a world in disarray Till high and humble alike may thrive? Step in, young chap, and your wares display. We’re hoping much of you, sakes alive 1 What have you got in your wallet, pray, Or your bulging swag, as a man might say ? What are you bringing us, 'Thirty five? ? T. the R., in “The Bulletin” (Sydney). * * * SHARKS AND SHORTS It is suggested that modern bathing costumes are responsible for the presence of sharks round the summer bathing beaches. Now when Hie sharks Get up to larks They do not wander iu the parks! But they explore Close to the shore The humans’ fashionable lore. There was a day When girls’ array Would scare both sharks and men away. Then they would wear Some serge affair That left their toes and fingers bare. The gowns were macle Like sacks, with braid; The boldest flathead felt afraid And bream and eels Took to their heels Because girls looked so much like seals. Now in the froth They sport in cloth That scarce would feed a hungry moth ; And this enthrals The shark who calls For front-row tickets in the stalls. But all the same It is a shame The fascinated shark to blame; And to resent As impudent What really is a compliment. —“Oriel” in the Melbourne "Argus.” * * » A DRASTIC CURE ’Twas in a crowded hospita l , In Western U.S.A., A Caledonian, far from home. Sick, lonely, dying, lay. “Oh, doctor, could I hear but aince Oor ain’ bagpipes again. I'd lay mo doom an’ dee in peace, In spite o’ a’ my pain." The kindly doctor searched the town; A brither Scot was found. And soon within the hospital The cheery pipes resound. Along the great wide corridors The pibroch echoed clear; And the poor, sick, lonely sulferer Heard the tunes he loved so dear. And by that glorious music The weary Scot revived, Regained his health, and walked abroad— But the other patients died.