RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 28, Issue 89, 9 January 1935, Page 8

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current

Events

(By Kickshaws.)'

This recent agreement between Ireland and England seems to be a cow of a game.

A woman in England is stated to produce 12,000 pats an hour. Incidentally butter, not diplomacy, is her profession.

The recent visit to the Dominions of an expert on Empire defence seems to' be producing a veritable storm in a hankeychief.

“The question as to whether or not a polar bear has a tail is-causing a great deal of discussion in a certain circle in this township,” writes “Fungus.” “We would be indebted to you if you would enlighten us through your column.”

Yes; they have a tail about an inci; long that cannot be seen.

The High Commissioner has referred to the unpardonable, lgnoran.ee displayed in some parts of England concerning New Zealand. When one starts to think about the matter the unpardonable part is that New Zealand should not have put herself mo® on the map. The only way to get 8 place known is to advertise the fact that there is such a place; The cure rests with New Zealand. The maker of some proprietary article would not be astounded if nobody.had heard of his commodity if he took’littie if any steps to advertise his wares. At the moment we must modestly submit, as best we may, to the astounding fact that there are millions of people.in the world who have never heard of New Zealand. Moreover, they never will unless New Zealand tells them something about her own good self. These days it is not a sin for a nation to advertise it,s existence. Mexico advertises her existence cheaply by organising a rebellion, Britain by organising the world, America by organising newspapers, France by disorganising Cabinets, Germany by the Putsch, Italy by Mussolini’s speeches, and New Zealand—?

.it may be argued that the pitiful little sum that we consider sufficient to advertise ourselves has produced results. The fact remains that a Missouri newspaper still Imagines that New Zealand is on the Equator. “Song and dances at the Equator,” runs a caption below a picture of some Maoris doing a poi dance. If newspapers m America display this ignorance about New Zealand little wonder that an American citizen w'rote to ask about the state pf the road from Auckland to Sydney. Little wonder, indeed, that many Americans think that New Zealand is iu America. “Where do you go?” asked another American who had studied the map, ‘when the tide comes in?” We ought to tell the world the answers to questions like that. Until New Zealand takes steps to see that she is put on the map the rest of the world, sad to say, will continue to make pardonable errors concerning our geography. There are many people iu England who imagine that New Zealand and Australia are the same place. Tasmania, moreover, is lumped in as good measure. “When you get to New Zealand be sure you look up Mr. Smith, of Tasmania,” is not a creation of the imagination. It was actually said to a prospective visitor to New Zealand. Not even an Earthquake is sufficient to put us on the map—we must do the job ourselves.

If we are to believe a visitor to America nobody to-day is more critical of America than Americans. In this the Americans must be very like the Scots, except that the latter will never tolerate criticism from anyone els^T - A little self-criticism is an excellent antidote "to smugness. In strong contrast to the outlook of both Americans and Scots the English seem tc tolerate any amount of criticism from outside sources. In fact the rest of the world for many centuries seems to have told England her business. The well-mean-ing adyice of strangers does not seem to cause resentment in the English although it often causes resentment iu the giver of the criticism. The English seem to absorb any amount of criticism. They will, in fact, agree that it is true. Then they go and, do exactly the opposite. Usually time proves them correct. "Mt must be peculiarly annoying to the critics. One thing must be sajd in favour of the English, as a nation they never say “I told you so.”

It is amusing to contrast the various nations and try to sum up the individuals as a community. Perhaps the greatest contrast is seen between the Germans and the French. The Germans like things big. They made big likenesses of their famous generals in the war and stuck big iron nails into them. The Germans seem to derive comfort in bigness. Fortunately for them Hindenburg was big. ‘ His likeness held any amount of nails. In contrast to this big complex beloved of the Germans who even honour big • hings with the masculine gender, the French delight to make big thing-: little. Napoleon, the Biggest General of all time, was called not The Great Napoleon, but “le petit caporal”—the little corporal. Such a thing would never have been tolerated in Germany. Can you imagine Hindenburg being referred to as “the little soldier”? French do not desire to appear, big and important. Even their great periodicals have little names—“Le Petit Parisien,” “Le Petit Journal.” In contrast to the American - the French do not. understand the significance of the expenditure of money, or even effort, on anything unless some obvious need is to be satisfied. The French, however, do like to appear busier than they are—the English are just the opposite. • =» * * * “Homo New Zealand thalensis" writes:—“Regarding eight letter, one vowel words, ‘strength’ shall not hold the fort. How about ‘twelfths?’ I will admit however, that it is quite possible to add ‘s’ to the former word, and have a nine letter competition.” ODE RE 1935. It’s good to be alive In 1935, AVhile clever chaps contrive Such rapid things to drive. Or pilot in a dive. Though when we do arrive, And happily survive To meditate or strive. AVe mayn’t exactly thrive. —R.H.F.