Diversions

Dominion, Volume 28, Issue 81, 29 December 1934, Page 6

Diversions

ONLY A SECOND TROMBONE

I’m only a Second Trombone, But whatever the world may say,I'm bent upon playing a trombone’s part In a kind and courageous way. What matters it if my tone is weak And some of iny notes are fiat? Though I’m only a Second Trombone, girls, I'm not any the worse for that . . . I’m only a Second Trombone, But one of these days you'll find Some hint of the passionate, human thoughts That burn in a trombone’s mind; They’re thoughts that would stultify a bassoon, And stagger a clarinet; But they’re only a Sicond Trombone’s, girls, And nobody knows them yet. —From "Songs of a Sub-Man,” by Patrick Barrington. * * 4> CHURCHES AND CHURCHES A Rural Dean travelled his deanery thro’ Ti see if the ehoehs were fit ti view, He tackled churchwardens an’ telled ’em straight, If owt could be seen 'at he thowt warn’t right. When be gat tlv oor choch he looked inside, An’ underneath cushions an’ pews he spyed; He took me an’ showed me a broken chair, An’ said 'at the choch was needing more care. My choch he says is as clean as can be, When you’re passin’ by just look in an’ see; And our churchwardens they wad feel disgraced. If owt whatsoever had been displaced. Ah’ve heeard o’ your choch Ah says ti the Dean, They say ’at it’s tidy' an’ varry clean; Ah’ve heeard tell, too, there’s a varry good cause. There is no muck, for there's neeabody goes. —“Northener.” In the "Yorkshire Post.” ♦ * • LITERARY KISSES, AND Shakespeare (“Coriolanus”) : — “O, a kiss Long as my exile, sweet as my revenge I” Browning : — (a) “Lips the truest love ere turned His heart’s own tint. One night they kissed My soul out in a burning mist.” (b) “The Bee’s kiss now! Kiss me as If you entered guy My heart at some noonday. A bud that dares not disallow The claim, so all is rendered up, and passively its shattered cup Over your head to sleep I bow.” Tennyson:— "O Love, O fire! Once he drew * With one long kiss <my whole soul thro’ My lips, as sunlight drinkqth dew.” And, of more modern days, Herbert Trench :— “That torturing aeutest bliss. That quenclies selfhood while it lives Enheavened in your kiss.” Lastly, D. H. Lawrence: —* “Seeing that I am a bowl of kisses. Come, put your mouth to mine and drink of mo." OTHERS (1) It’seemed that all the human wires had fused and the top of the head was blown off. (2) The whole heavens opened in the twinkling of an eye. (3) It. was not so loud as a cannon ball, but the echo was longer. ♦ * * IN THE CHAIR A bettlc-browed dentist of Lyme Has a humorous notion of criime; When his victims repair To the sinister chair. He gasses and gags the whole time.