WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 21, Issue 111, 8 February 1928, Page 8

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM J

[During the absence on holiday of “T.D.H.,” “Notes at Random” will be contributed by “Wi.”]

Job may have had his trials, but he never had to make seven more payments on a car that went over the bank.

It is mentioned that the ex-Kaiser recently entertained some learned German mythologists at Doorn. From which we may expect soon Wilhelm’s latest attempt to explain the war.

To save a Alayd St. George the Dragon

slew— A pretty tale if all is told be true. Most say there, are no dragons, and ’tis sayd

There was no George; pray God there was a maydl

Listening to some learned counsel, it is not difficult to imagine that justice, like Homer, sometimes nods. Air. Justice Eve, who presided during the recent and technically involved Alarcoui case, then before the English courts, confessed afterwards that he had divided his time between “reading and having a nap.” The incident, says a commentator. has revived pleasant memories of judicial somnolence. Coleridge must have suffered exquisite torture in trying to keep awake at times, for when at the Bar he had been known to go to sleep while taking down evidence, and he always slept between cases, sometimes, indeed, taking a nap on his arrival nt 10.30 a.m. if he was not required till 10.45. On the bench he nearly always tumbled off to sleep after lunch, and many were the ruses adopted to wake him up. Once he woke up and at once entered judgment for the plaintiff though he had meant to decide against him, but he got himself out of the situation very skilfully. Cave had a great weakness for sleep, but, as. he said, he only gave in when he had got the evidence on his notes and counsel was simply making an oration that did not matter. Wright was once complaining to Bowen about having to make a Divisional Court with a somnolent judge. “He comes into court late,” he said, “goes to sleep, wakes up with a jerk, and adjourns half an hour before time.” To which Bowen replied: “Aly dear Wright, you should not be rough with him After all, he is only obeying the hymnal injunction, ‘Shake off dull sloth and early rise.’ ”

As in America: Policeman—Judge, this man is arrested for gambling and being drunk. Drunk—Your Honour, “Alan’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.” I’m not as debased ns Swift, as profligate as Byrcn, as dissipated as Poe, or as debauched as . Judge—That will do. Thirty days, and, officer, take a list of those names and run them in; they’re as bad as iie is.

Tiie New York “Nation” furnishes an amusing example of the rigours of the Press eonsorship in Italy under Alussolini. In describing “The Taming of the Shaw,” the ‘Nation” relates: It was strange to find the rebel Shaw defending the apostle of castor oil as a cure for civil discontent. But it remained for Alussolini's censors to cap the comedy by re-editing G. B. S.’s apologia for their chief, and for Gaetamo Salvemini to bring their antics to the lightin a letter to the “Alanchester Guardian." . “Afussolini achieved a dictatorship,” Shaw wrote, “after marching to Rome with a force of blackshirts “WHICH A SINGLE DISCIPLINED REGIMENT BACKED BY A' COAIPETENT GOVERNMENT COULD HAVE ROUTED AT ANY AIOAIENT.” Whi'ii Shaw’s remarks were reprinted in Italy, the censors cut out the words capitalised above, they did not harmonise with the official Fascist myth. Shaw wrote: “To tell us tint Mussolini’s extraordinary success was achieved bv MURDERING ONE HOSTILE DEPUTY and administering castor oil to his supporters is childish.” The censors omitted the murder, and changed the word “supporters” into “adversaries.” At another point they inserted into Shaw’s text a whole series of remarks of their ows. Air. Shaw has thundered at censers before; he will now renounce his sudden love, or, as Salvemini suggests, has ‘Kate at long last met her Petrichio”? Alust some new dramatist write “The Turning of the Shaw” ?

Bill asked his. friend Joe, “ ’Owd d’yer spell ‘fought’?” “F-o-r-t,” responded Joe. “I don’t meat that ‘ffort,’ ” said Bill. “I mean the ‘.‘ought’ you fink wiv.”

Can the charge of levity against the modern stake be sustained ? Here is a plavbill circulated in Kilkenny, Ireland, as Ion? ago as 1793:— KILKENNY THEATRE ROYAL, by his Alajest’’s company of comedians. On Saturday, Alay 14, 1793, will be performed ly command of several respectable people in this learned metrapolish, for the benefit of Air. Kearns, the tragedy of “Hamlet!” Originally written and composed by the celebrated Dm Hays, of Limerick, and insartec in Shakspeare’s works. Hamlet, Oy Air. Kearns (being his first ap-pea-aiice in that character), who, between the acts, will perform several soos on the patent bagpipes, which pay two tunes at the same time. Orphelia, by Airs. Prior, who will introduce several favourite airs in character, particularly “The Lass of Richmond Hill” and “We’ll all be unhappy together,” from the revered Air. Dibdin’s “Oddities.” The parts of the King and Queen, by direction of 1 the Reverend Father O’Callagan, will be omitted as too immoral for any stage. Polonius, the comical politician, by' a young gentleman, being his first appearance in public. The Ghost, the Gravedigger, and Laertes by Air. Sampson, the great London comedian. The characters to be dressed in Roman

shapes. To which will be added an interlude, in which will be introduced several sleight-of-hand tricks by the celebrated surveyor, Hunt. The whole to conclude with the farce of “Mahomet, the Imposter!” Mahomet by Mr. Kearns. Tickets to be had of Mr. Kearns, at the sign of the Goat’s Beard, in Castle Street. The value of tickets, as usual, will be taken (if required) in candles, bacon, butter, cheese, soap, etc., as Mr. Kearns wishes, in every- particular, to accommodate the public. No person whatsoever shall be admitted into the boxes without shoes or stockings. GROWING OLD. When I was eight I used to think at ten I’d be so verv old and big, why, then, With no regrets, with scarce a tear or s >gh, I’d lay mv fain- books and dollies by: At ten, well, twelve seemed quite the proper age To put aside toys, games, and pictured page, And seventeen thought twenty truly old; And "■■entv, as the shining days unrolled, Felt wrv sure, should she be still alive, How ancient she would be at twentyfive. So when my years shall total up four score, In the same way I’ll say, "One decade more; At ninety I’ll be old, and glad to die”; At ninety, contemplate mv centurv. —E-F.D.