WITHOUT PREJUDICE
NOTES AT RANDOM
(By
T.D.H.)
What with “cubism,” “vorticism,” and everything that is ugly labelled high art, the once revolutionary “impressionism” has become a very back number. Vet according to some authorities it was a picture painted by the late Claude Monet, the famous French artist whose death is recorded to-day, that gave rise to the word impressionism. This was a picture of sunrise at sea painted by M. Monet away back in the ’sixties and labelled “Une Impression.” M. Monet’s handling of colour was considered too revolutionary by many people, and everything of the same sort became thereafter “an impressionstic daub.” There are other explanations of the origin of the word, but M. Monet was anyway' for marry years France’s leading impressionistic painter.
A child of eight has been charged in Auckland with stealing some instruments from a school laboratory. Thia earnest effort to keep the young on the right path is greatly to be commended. The necessity for right conduct should be impressed on children at the earliest age, and in view of the laxity of the modern parent, who is to do it if the Courts do not? If the police persevere in the good work in the Queen City of the North we may expect to hear of many nuisances being effectually suppressed, and a due regard for moral rectitude inculcated in the bosoms of many little ruffians. We look forward to reading reports on the following lines in our northern contemporaries >—
His Worship: What ace the facts in this case, sergeant? Police Sergeant: The defendant, your Worship, is charged, with offensive behaviour. The charge is based on a complaint laid by Miss Selina Bogsworth who was present at a semipublic gathering at the house where the defendant resides. The defendant, Robert Jones, on being introduced to the complainant, is alleged to have behaved in a most objectionable manner.
Miss Selina Bogsworth called and sworn, deposes: lam a spinster. I attended a sewing bee at the residence of Mrs. Henry Jones last Tuesday fortnight. About twenty ladies were present. The defendant was the only male present. He was introduced to me by Mrs. Jones. There was nothing in my words or my manner to give offence. The exact words used by to him, so far as I can remember, were “What a dear ickle boy, diddums!”
His Worship: This seems remarkable language! You are quite sure it is not offensive? I have no recollection of any lady remarking “diddums” to me immediately following an introduction. Police Sergeant: If Your Worship pleases, I have made inquiries, and I am informed that, the language is regarded as unexceptionable at a sew-ing-bee under the circumstances.
Examiation of Selina Bogsworth spinster, continued: No sooner had I opened my mouth than the defendant struck at me with a wooden spoon he was carrying, inflicting a severe contusion on the right cheek.. At the samp time he called out, in a most insulting manner, and in a loud voice, overheard by all present: “G-r-r-r! U-g-g-g-h!” or words to that effect, adding, "Go away! Oo dirty ’oomanl Naughty ’ooman! Me no love oo!” There ’ were no grounds whatever for the aspersions cast upon my char* acter. I have a bath regular every Saturday night, excepting when. I have a cold. The idea of me being called a naughtv woman in Front of all the folks upset me that much I didn’t get a wink of sleep for a week, and I felt that bad I burned a whole baking of jam tarts the next day. There was nothing in my demeanour fb provoke any amatory declaration by the defendant. I have not . the least desire to be loved bv a dirty little brat like the defendant, and I don’t care who knows it.
His Worship: What has the defendant to say for himself? Where is the defendant ? Police Sergeant: The defendant is in the dock, Your Worship. (To Court orderly): Elevate the defendant, constable. . . Defendant, Robert Jones, on being elevated by Court orderly: 800-hoo! 800-hoo! Ow! Y-o-o-o-w-w! Mummum! Orderly: Silence in the court! Defendant; Ye H-o-o-ou-on-w!!! YOW I Ye-ho-o-o-ou-w!! Naughty man! Ye-O-O-w! His Worship: Silence, sir! Silence! You have behaved in a most ruffianly and unmannerly way to a lady old enough to be your mother. To this you have now added the offence of insulting the dignity of this Court: Your record is a black one. Already you have on various occasions, without due cause or warrant, disturbed the neighbourhood by unseemly bellowings at dead of night. In view of your long list of previous convictions the Court has no option but to declare you an habitual criminal, and to sentence you to indefinite detention. The Court desires to add that this class of offence has become far too common, following the recent deplorable rise in the birthrate, and future offenders will be dealt with with the utmost rigour of the law. The much-heralded appearance of the new edition of the “Encyclopaedia Britannica” recalls the fact that France produced the first modern encyclopaedia, but had it banned at once by Louis XV. However, one night at the royal supper-table talk turned on sport, then on gunpowder, as to the composition of which there was disagreement. Madame de Pompadour lamented their all-round ignorance, confessing that she herself, for instance, had no idea what rouge was made of, or. whence came the material for her silk stockings. “ 'Tis a pitv, said the Due de la Valliere, “that His Majesty confiscated our encyclopaedias.” The King then remembered that he had preserved a personal copy of the suppressed work, and sent a servant in search of it. Back staggered a train of valets with the twentyone volumes. An exciting search revealed all they wished to know concerning gunpowder, rouge, and silk stockings; some found answers. to legal questions they had been debating; the King himself discovered the rights of his crown set forth with remarkable clearness, and was so pleased that he immediately removed the ban on the circulation of such a remarkable work. THIS EXTRAORDINARY AGE. “Tonghtex doors won’t warp or shrink; Common doors will seldom close.** “Kantkink Garden Hose won’t kink Like the ordinary hose.” “Biltrite Roofs will long outlast Any ordinary roof.” “Blowouts now are of the past; Mylidge Tires are blowout proof. These are davs of suner-clairas— Superevervthing calore Not a thing that von can name’s Ordinarv anv more. What? I’m talkin" through my hat? Tut! the proof is none too hard. . . Just compare this verse with that Of an ordinary bard! —Baron Ireland, in Life.
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Dominion, Volume 20, Issue 62, 7 December 1926, Page 8
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1,096WITHOUT PREJUDICE Dominion, Volume 20, Issue 62, 7 December 1926, Page 8
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