WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 20, Issue 60, 4 December 1926, Page 8

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM

(By

T.D.H.)

I 4 ife would be more agreeable iw« could get rid of the weather and get back to the climate.

Brother Jonathan says he does not intend to act in concert with other nations in China.—Europe will have to shake the tree anyhow, and - the vise man reserves himself for picking up the plums.

The tragic explosion at the Dobson colliery is another reminder of the risks inseparable from coal mining. New Zealand’s biggest colliery disaster was in the Grey Valley field on March 26, 1896, when sixty-five men, the whole underground staff in the Bum. ner mine, were killed by an explosion. The first sign of the explosion to those outside the mine was the outpouring of a large volume of smoke from its mouth at half-past nine in the meriting. This smoke came out against the full force of the inward ventilating current of air. Immediately it was noticed the ventilating fans were put to fall • speed, and the mine manager, Mr. James Bishop, .went into the mine to investigate. He had only got four or five chains along the main level, where he became insensible, and' was rescued with great difficulty. Subsequently rescue pirties worked their way in foot by foot and found the whole interior of the mine wrecked, but it was not urtil three days had elapsed that all the bodies could be brought out.

The cause of the Brunner mine disaster was investigated by a Royal Commission, which found that it was due to a “blown-out shot,” fired by some person unknown, contrary to the rules of the mine, in a part of the mine where no one was supposed to be working. The place where the slot had been fired was discovered, and it was found that a great quantity of coal had been coked, and from 12,MX) to 15,000 cubic feet of gas set free. This gas is explosive when mixed with ten times its volume of air, so that an enormous volume of explosive gas was liberated in the mine. After the explosion the mine was filled with white damp, two per cent, of Which, in the air causes severe symptoms of poisoning. All the miners in the eastern part of the mine were thought to have been killed by the explosion and burning, and all the miners in the western part by the after damp.

A number of schoolboy stories ate retold by Dean Inge in his new boos “The Lay Thoughts of a Dean,” ami go to show that the “Gloomy Dean** has his cheerful moments. As a really bad break the answer of the schoolboy who was asked what Cromwell’s last words were is hard to beat. This youth without hesitation replied that the last words uttered by the great Protector were: “Had I but served my God as I have served by King,” etc. '

A young Eton schoolboy, whose papers Dean Inge examined, was asked: “What are the essentials of a Sacrament, according to the Church of England ? Show ’ that other so-called sacraments do not fulfil the conditions.” He wrote: “The essentials of a Sacrament are Faith and Repentance. Hence - it follows that matrimony cannot be a sacrament.”

Another boy wrote: “Christians are allowed only one wife. This is called monotony.”

Still another small pupil of the'Dean’s triumphantly brought the Sermon on the Mount into line with schooltoy ethics as follows:—“If any man smite thee on the right cheek, smite him on the other also.”

Here is the schoolboy on history:— “The isles of Greece were always quitveiling about the birthplace of Homer. Chaos has the best right to clam him.” “Luther is famous for his Diet of Worms. At last he said, ‘Heaven help me! I can take no other course.’”

Another essay, with some very original spelling, gives us some facts about the cat: “A cat is a quadruped, the legs as usual being at the four cornels. Do not tease cats; for, firstly, it is wrong so to do, and, secondly, kittens has clawses, which is longer *han people thinks. Cats has nine liveses, but which is seldom required in this countiy, cos of Christianity.” -

The following give a clue to tie students’ capacity for absorbing mainformation: “Ammonia is the food of the gods.” “Ipecae is a man who likes a good dinner.” “A demagogue is a vessel containing beer and other liquids.” “Guerilla warfare was when men rode on gorillas.” “The Test Act was passed to keep Roman Catholics out of public-houses.” “An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.” “The Equator is a menagerie lion running round the middle of the globe.” “If the air contains more than 100 per cent, of carbolic acid it is very injurious to the health.” “A vacuum is a large, empty space where the Pope lives.”

Even so dry a subject as mathematics produces its share of youthful enlightenment. We learn that “geometry teaches us how to bisex angels,” ‘ and that “an angle is a triangle with only two sides.” A very fine achievement is a definition o: the difference between Problems and Theorems in Euclid. “A Problem may be solved bj’ merely human intelligence; but a Theorem (derived from Theos, ‘God,’ and nes, ‘a thing” requires the Divine assistance.” *•

Children in repeating a hymn often mishear the words, and the result acks something of the edifying import of the original. For instance, Dean Inge found that a whole class in London were supposed to be repeating: “Thou did’st hear obedience shew; O make me obedient too.” But the Cockney accent of the tcichee misled them, and what they were ictuallv singing was: ; “Thou did’st here a pigeon show; O make me a pigeon too.”

From a correspondent the Dean received the following gems:—“Claron was a man who fried soles over’ the sticks.” “The Duke of Marlboongh was a great general; he always-feught with the fixed determination to win or lose.”. “To keep milk from turning sour you should keep it in the raw.” “Contralto is a low sort of music which onlv ladies sing.” “Simon de Montfort formed what was known as the Mad Parliament. It was something the sime as it is at the present day.” “On one side of a penny is the King’s head,'on the other a yonng ladv riding a bicytle; thev call her Ruby Tanyer.” “Socrstes died from an overdose of wedlock.” 1

REWARD.

What if the leaden hours drag, And the little frets Gnaw like cut-worms at the roots Of the violets.

What if the inching hours are' bleak And barren as Punishing miles of sand, that know No soothe of grass.

I pass above them, through then; I Feel them as friend, Remembering without ceasing you At the road’s end. Clement Wood, in the “Gypsy.”