WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 15, Issue 80, 28 December 1921, Page 4

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM (By T.D.H.) 1 Germany is the land of promise. Franco appears to be more anxious to preserve hoc dignity than to preserve her friends. The report that Monday’s rain was duo to a leak in Mr. Massey’s meat pool is not correct. A man often pushes his business until ho can indulge a hobby, and then he pushes his hobby till ho ruins his business. Tlie other day I mentioned the strange mischances of the body of Oliver Cromwell. I have lately been reminded of another curiosity. "I want the head of the Duke of .Suffolk.” If you make that request, in a spirit of antiquarian reverence, at St. Botolph’s, Aidgate, you will be shown a glass box containing the head of Henry Grey, Duke of Suffolk, tho father of Lady Jane Grey. He perished on Tower Hill in 1554, and his widow plaeed the head in tho church where she and her husband had worshipped. Tannin from oak-sawdust did tho rest, and so we have ths relic to-day. A rival relic in which small l>oys are ns much interested as their ciders is to be seen in the crypt of TewkesburyAbbey. It is no less than tho bones of the Duke of Clarence, who was drowned in the butt of malmsey wine. The crypt used to be flooded when the Avon \ rose, and the Duke's body was fairly ' washed out of his coffin, so they took the bones and put them in a'glass case on the wall above high-water mark. In the music-hall song during the war they used to tell you that it was a long time since the tragedy to the Duke of Clarence, for to-day there is "no body at all in Government beer.”

Major Fifzurse rang up last night to ask me to state that the pistol, to which he referred on Saturday is not an automatic. The police make such a fuss about these things nowadays, and he does not want to have any unpleasantness. The Major also desires to remove any impression that ho would give encouragement to any form of law-break-ing. -As a matter of fact he is most particular in complying with the Firearms Act. He took his pea-rifle up to Auckland the other day, and so far as the train-stops permitted he re-registered tho weapon in seventeen of the twentytwo police districts he passed through, and wrote letters of apology to the other five where the train did not stop. The Major is most scrupulous in observing the law in every way. Ho feels it is urgently necessary to set a good example in these days of indiscipline and unrest. On Sunday evening he walked homo from a friend’s house in his socks so as to avoid breaking section 51 of tho Police Offenders Act by being abroad after dark in felt or other slippers. How many women who go out calling, the Major asks, heed the fact that it is an offence against the law to go wantonly ringing . door bells? The entire disregard by i motorists of sub-section x of section 3 of I the Police Offences Act is appalling to the Major’s mind. Under that clause it is an offence wantonly to disturb any inhabitant by blowing any horn, but the present scandalous- disregard of this provision seems to bo winked at by the police.

English titles are terrible things to keep up with. I notice the Press Association the other day told us Baron This and Baron That wore speaking in the House of Lords. New Zealand had Baron Islington as its Governor a while ago, but a curiosity of the peerage is that a baron is never called a baron, whereas earls, viscounts, and marquises may be called indifferently the Earl of Blank or Lord Blank. An American newspaper, in referring to Lord Beatty the other day, called him Lord David Beatty—a form which represents a courtesy title borne by the younger sons of dukes and marquises. Lady Jane Brown might bo tho daughter either of a duke, a marquis, or an earl. Lord John Brown might be the younger son of a duke or a marquis, but not of an earl, for carls’ younger sons are only “honourables," though their daughters are "ladies.”

It must be a, terrible strain on a. footman to have to remember all the gradations of social rank between an esquire and a Royal Highness-. Yet they seem to revel in it. princess Metternich records that on the morning after her grandfather had been promoted to lie a prince his manservant asked him: “Will Your Highness wear the same suit as His Excellency wore yesterday?” Could anything be more tactful? Yet it may have been prepared- beforehand; the following cannot. Two little boys were sliding down the banisters. They were the sons of n peer. The elder was Lord Somebody, a courtesy title, and tne younger the lion. Somebody Else. The young lord fell into the hall, and a footman ran to his assistance. The younger brother looked over and called out: “He’s not hurt, is lie?” Tne footman, on liie knees beside the boy, replied, “He’s dead, my lord.” The brother had sucecded to the title.

Dr. Bumpus has been much puzzled to know what steamer is to be placed on the Picton run by tho Union Company. Ho has heard something to the effect that the Niagara is likely to go on after the holidays. Such an arrangement, the Doctor thinks, would bo' a, singularly appropriate tribute to the progress of a rising district. He has not been able to obtain confirmation of the rumour, but a nautical friend assures him there is to be a general rearrangement of the company’s vessels from the Wainui upwards. This latter vessel has been refitted at great expense, the Doctor hears, but where she is to be employed he does net know. The Doctor has a great attachment for ■ the Wainui, as so many passages in his early life are associated with her ... it seems only yesterday that his grandmother in her crinoline . . . crinolines were just in then . . . was down seeing him. off when he first left home for school. ... It is invigorating to think those old associations will once more be renewed. . . . The Doctor says he must certainly take a passage to San Francisco, or wherever the Wainui is going to, just for old times’ sake.

A subscriber asks: “What is the longest word in the English language that is defined in tho latest edition of the most complete dictionary?” The latest edition of the Standard Dictionary says under honorificabilitudinity: “Honourableness: frequently cited as the longest word in English literature.’’ But this word is also found in one of the earliest English dictionaries—Bailey’s, published in 1756. Authropoiuo-rphologically contains on« more letter-namely, twenty-three.

“SIMPLE AND STRAIGHTFORWARD I.” Simple and straightforward I, Purged of all pretence; ■Wistfully I wonder why Snobs possess no sense! Modest, unassuming, how Could I help but hate Sycophants who scrape and bow To the so-called "great.” Plain tho clothing that I wear, 1 Plain tho food I cat; Ostentatious garb or faro Marks a man “effete!’’ Vanity in any guise Roundly 1. arraign, And whene’er I stigmatise All my points bring pain! . Affectation makes me sad, I abhor display! Airs and graces drive mo mad. What is this you say? You’ll denounce me to the crowd? They too will deride? I’m preposterously proud Of my lack of pride? —Harold Seton.