WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Dominion, Volume 15, Issue 25, 24 October 1921, Page 4

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

NOTES AT RANDOM (By T.D.H.) Tho biggest loser at last Saturday’s races at Trentham was the totaiisator. It dropped nearly £20,000. It is always necessary to start from a truth in order to teach an error. For justifying a fault doubles it. "Ich bin cben ein Pechvogel” (I tun unlucky) was the ever-repeated lament of old Francis Joseph of Austria-Hungary. His successor Karl suffers from the same hereditary complaint, and its most unlucky symptom is his inability to recognise that Jlapsburgs and Has-beens mean one and the same thing. SOME MOTTOES. Doctor’s motto: A fee in the hand is worth two in the cemetery. z The Steamer’s motto: You can’t eat your cake and have it, too. The Swindler’s motto: Work ill done must bo twice paid for. Tho Angler’s motto: There are more fish taken out of a stream than there ever were in it! Burglar’s motto: Work, for the light is coming. Dramatic Critic’s motto: We’ll leave no turn unetoned. The Journalist's motto: Publicity is # the bent pin in the seats of the mighty. Post-war unrest and unsettlement is extending rapidly.—Tho moon is now out of working order. —Major Fitzurse says, although the astronomers employed, by Lord Northcliffo on the "Daily Mail” report that tho moon is going too fast and is ahead of time, he believes the solution will be found elsewhere. It is go-slow on the earth that is causing the effect now observed. It is necessary to accept reports of ths moon’s misbehaviour with caution until fully substantiated. Even learned astronomers are liable to error. Great expitement was caused in the seventeenth century by the announcement by Sir Paul Neal, a distinguished scientist, that he had discovered an elephant in the moon The elephant was clearly visible and very active for a period, but a closer examination disclosed that the object was a mouse in the telescope, and not an elephant in the moon. A poem on the subject was written by Butler, but to maintain the good name of astronomy tho. incident has been suppressed in the scientific books. The moon, of course, had a . very upsetting time when Habib the Wise called upon Mahomet to provo his divinity. It dropped down out of tho sky at MahomePs bidding, walked seven times round the top of the temple at Afecca, then climbed up Mahomet’s right sleeve, and camo out of his left. It then went down tho back of hAs neck and divided itself into two plaits, one of which shot out into the sky in tho cast and the other in the west. The two parts then reunited, and business was resumed as usual. Mahomet’s birthday comes. round on November 12, and Major Fitzurse thinks my view is worth considering, that the near approach of this anniversary may possibly be the disturbing factor.

"Abie” writes: Two of my countrymen were on a train in America, and, lo and behold, it was held up. The fat one, Mo. looked at the revolver of. the robber for a minute. "Hey!” he said, "Hey! Vill you allow it that I put it my hand in my pocket for vun.minute, yet?" His request was granted, after tho robber had satisfied hiipsdf that there was no revolver there. Mo took a ten dollar bill out of liis pocket, and handed it lo tho thin one, Aaron. “Here.” he said. “Aaron, here’s the ten dollars I owe you.”

The visit of tho French sloop Aldebaran recalls the old days of the French Pacific squadron—not of the Catinat, but of the older ’ Zclee and Kersaint. I saw / the Zelee last at the beginning of 1913, in Papeete-Harbour, Tahiti, with a comic-opera complement of about ten officers and a dozen men. ’She was a tiny white vessel, something like tho Amokura; and the epaulets and gold braid worn by tho officers would have stocked a miniature mint. Lovaina. of the Tiara Hotel, at Papeete, ono of the most famous in the world (before tho epidemic kilted Lovaina). give parties to the officers. When’tiie’Scuarnhofst and the Gneisenati patrolled tho Pacific thev landed a few nine-inch shells on Papeete town—and a stray ono saiik tho sturdy little Zelee at her moorings. Tho Kersaint replaced her; but its reign was short lived, for she was soon piled up on tho coral reef nf "oorea, which is a rugged island near Tahiti. You see. therefore, thnt there is yet romance in tho sunny South. Seas!

The Lobby gossip had turned to slovenly speech, and tho difficulty of following certain speakers who slurred their phrases. So the-. Gallery Reporter told tho story of a group of ladies who had overhoard a remark by a lady friend: Said Mrs. A, one of the overhearers: "They must have been to the zoo, because I hoard her mention 'a trained deer.’ ”

Said Mrs. B: "No, no. They were talking about going away and she said to him, ‘Find out about the train, dear.’ ”

Said Mrs. C: "I think you aro both wrong. It seemed to me they were discussing music, for she said, 'A trained ear’ very distinctly.” A. few minutes later the lady herself appeared and they told her of their disagreement. ‘“Well,” she laughed, "that’s certainly funny. You are poor guesser,«,( nil of you. The fact is, I’d been out to the country overnight and I was asking my husband if it rained here hist evening.”

Until a few years ago, most of (ho newspapers in New Zealand used to head thoir cable news "By Electric Telegraph,” This was a reminder of what most people had forgotten—that there wore telegraphs liefore the electric totegraph. Tt was by telegraph that the news of Trafalgar was sent from Portsmouth to tho Admiralty in 1805. We eelcbrate Trafalgar on iho anniversary of tho day the. battle was fought. Britain knew nothing of the victory until 17 days after it occurred, for it was on November 1 that, the first shin with ihe news reached T’orlsnioutli. IVord of the victory was at onc.o telegraphed to London by tho relay signal stations, which began ot the eld Round Tower at Portsmouth Harbour entrance and ended on iho Admiralty building in London. This arrangement had lieen fixed up in 1796. and continued until 181 G. when the semaphore. system was adopted for the naval telegraph from London to Portsmouth, and that was carried on until tho electric line was erected after 184(1. One of the few pood tliines Jniues II did was. white Duke of York, to originate the. first sot of signals for (ho Navy, but it was not until 1780 that Admiral Kempcnfoldt made nn the first systematic naval signal hook. TO A CYNIC. To bo a cynic, get a pair of cross-eyed goggles—blue, And you will see folks everywhere, as other folks seo you. You’ll see their faults and weaknesses and laugh at their faux pas, But don’t forget, in seeing them, you ro seeing what you are!