THE VAGUE PERSON

Dominion, Volume 12, Issue 79, 28 December 1918, Page 2

THE VAGUE PERSON

AN INTERESTING SYMPOSIUM

SOME QUEER INSTANCES

Most people feel vague on a wide variety of subjects. We excuse vagueness in ourselves, it exasperates ir amuses ius in others. Inevitably we must always have a large stock of ideas and information not clearly "tubulated, ■ a nebulous mass that we cannot α-eadily reduce to definite terms.

Conversations disclose interesting revelations of this fact. Take any averago group of men smoking round a friend's fireside. After golf and'politics they get on to really "brainy" They are shrewd city men, with nothing of the educational expert about them. Their history will be wrong by a hundred years, their geography by a thousand miles. They will assign Plato to Rome; ami A'irgil to Greece. They will misquote Milton, and assign, it to Shakespeare. They give an airing to the tag ends of knowledge they recall from school days, but whether Thermopylae was B.C. or A.D. they don't know. And, as a matter of fact, they don't cine. Such trifles, don!t nffect their argument, or their inferences ■ from history. They separate at last, feeling they have had a . nice, intellectual evening. Prigs needn't smile at them,, either. Pope, in his "Essay on, Man," refers to . fools' wlio are; "ignorantly read, with loads of learned lumber in their heiid." Many, a man doesn't carry much of that sort of lumber, but he is a good citizenand affectionate husband for all that. There are fools who nrrogantly obtrude their vagueness. These are less toler- ■ able, 'hut they can be effectively handled. Invite any specimen to make his statements deliberately. . Keep silent while lie does. After he BpluttcTs out his first few eentences he will betray ■nervousness. Interrupt him; and he will feel at ease, but in the silence he hears only the sound of his own voice. He realises that it sounds an extremely foolish voice. AVlion he finishes tnke him over his assertions seriatim. Every one , is sure to be wrong. You prove to him ■,

that Dante was not a heathen god but an Italian poet- that the South' Sen ■Bubble was not iv famous water epout, but a foolish speculation. • He will climb down and seek shelter in vagueness. "Oh, well, T don't pretend to know much about these old Johnnies, and it doesn't matter a tuppenny stamp, anyhow. My contention is quite sound." Vagueness can easily become a vice. There is the'person who describes a thing as being the size of a piece of chalk. Scotch people express distance as a mile and a 'bit," the bit being longer than the mile. One instance of vagueness is i'amdus in Scottish history. "Will Armstrong was a border robber. One day he appeared in Edinburgh to express to King Jaines his sorrow that, in a' fit of anger, he had knocked off a certaiu' bishops bonnet. The.King was indignant at conduct so disrespectful,, but, in view of Armstrong'si. , '. prompt penitence, pardon vas gianted. Some time- latei -it wus discovered that iho bishop's head was in his bonnet when Armstrong knocked if off! Armstrong had been prudently vague as to this detail. . . " . Distance vagueness did not depress a young officer marching his troop to the "town of A. "h it far to A.?" ho asked a passer by. "Straight ahead, sir; aliaut a couple "of miles." After marching three miles he asked arcther. "It is;just a little way ahead oi\ you. About a couple of miles." "Keep at it, boys, said the officer cheerily. "We are holding our own, anyway." Even intelligent '(-fcople. are strangely vague as to time and distance. The law-' courts furnish proof "daily. , . .In , , cases involving theso' elements cross-examining euuuscl tests the capacity Of witnesses. The results are 'amazing.' Watch in hand, counsel invites witnesses to say when five minutes have elapsed. They usually sppak at tho fifteenth second. Similarly with distance. Witnesses will talk con.fideutly of miles. If counsel. asks them ■to-guess tho length'of the-court-house, they will ■make a hopeless "wide." Vagueness-is .rampant .in..rplfgioue circles. The average man o'oes not-pretend to be strong on Bible, reading. But ho fancies he can recognise Scripture when quoted. ■ Sometimes he will try to clinch an argument with some profound phrase. "That is somewhere in the Bible, isn t. it?" ho will'proudly ask. Jf you suggest it is in Snakespeare..he will not contradict you, though it is probably in neither. Any sentonco th'iit Bounds archaic you can safely assert to be a quotation from Shakespeare. . A pound to a peanut the other .man doesn't know any better. ...... Dangers lurk in this practice. There was the Scot' who was bragging of tho famous men his country had produced. "Burns was n Scotsman, Hoinor was a Scotsman, Shakespeare.was a Scotsman." "Shakespeare .wasn't a Scotsman," interrupted one well-informed listener"Shiikospcare was nu Englishman. I'm pretty. Bare ho was an Englishman. "Oh,- well,.perhaps he was, But at. all events, his ability was sufficiently great to-warrant ray assumption." Even in the days of the Delphic, oracle Hie' value of vagueness was realised. The oracle's answers .were divine—and vague. They could bo'variously interpreted. II the victim, fblind things were turning out disastrously he was referred back to tho answer.: and. shown some other way m. which he should hay.n.'inlerproted it. Tho art of fortune-felling is (ho art of vagueness.... "Beware of the dark woman,' somewhere there is a fair man; you will take a long voyage; something is going to happen, but do not fear, all will be well." A few such phrases, a darkened room, a solemn manner, and vou are equipped us ; a fortune teller.Vagueness at live shillings a time. The science of meteorology, used to be even less exncl than it is now. Thf. forecasts used .fo read:-"Dry and cold, changing later to heat: clear sunshine, with 'occasional cloud;;, fionio wind, showers locally." As a vfpalheV prophet, you' ive.ro bound to hit it Komewhero. The whole-thing was reminificent of tho yokel in the .waxworks looking at. the figures of Nelson null Napoleon. "Sny, Mister, which be Nelson and which be Napoleon?" "You Have paid your money,'you' enn take' vonr choice, but keep "your dirty hiinds off tho: glass, plense." . ' . "Applications, accompanied by monials, are invited for ." Testimonials are usually excellent displays; of vagueness. There is an art in writing testimonials; an art in rea'ding them. The candidate is sure to have one or two good points. His testimonials will stress these; his weak points-will bo mentioned lightly, or not at 'all. To estimate the application correctly it is necessary to study what the testimonials omit morethan what they include. The writer of the testimonial hopes that his eulogistic superlatives n« to the candidate's merits will conceal any vagueness as. to the can-'

didatc's defects.. A r aguouess varies as a sex attribute. As a rule women me exnct where men would

be vague, women are. vague where men would be exact. This statement is not affected by the fact that Mime women ought to have been men; some ltien ought to have been women. In the minutiae of life woman's' exactness <s almost' a passion. Man generally is more exact in his .statements and thoughts on tho larger themes of life. 'In the more intimate relationships, conclusions niusl be 'based mainly on hearsay evidence, lint, if married men aro to be believed, it would seem that tho most silent, most gentle women develop, after marriage, a precision of languago that aiiy man may envy, but: that no man will ever be. able to emulate. Listening to such.an one expressing her opinion on his passing conduct or prcmaneut characteristics, tho victim realises, as probably he never realised before, the value of vagnsiuss.