SPANISH CLARET

Dominion, Volume 11, Issue 249, 9 July 1918, Page 6

SPANISH CLARET

' 4 — THE PERFIDY OP GOLDEN LOCKS. (By "Wi.") | This is the true story of s.man who was transformed from a smiling km eamarade to a teetotaller and a misogynist in one second of time. If I tell you his name he will punch my head for me. Anyway, his name doesn't matter. What really matters is the perfidy of Golden Looks. You know the saying: "For she hath hair'of a golden hue, Take care! Beware!" ■ . Well, this man, whom we shall call Jinks—high jinks, you know—was walking along the Quay one afternoon when he mot his friend fiinks. "Alia!" soid'Jiuks the genial,'"whither away 1" "There and back," said Binks. "What's doing?" "Nothing.much," replied Jinks. "By tho way, I.ve got a new story since i saw you last." "I suppose I've heard it," said Binks, with a hopeless air. "However, go ahead." "It's about nu Englishman, a Scotchman, aud an Irishman who —" The rasp and grind of a'passing car cut him short. Irritated, he looked round for a.haven of refuge in this City of Dreadful Noise. There was one within a few yards. Its name was—let me see—well, we'll call it the "Pig and Whistle." \ Jinks jerked his thumb in the direction of the glass swing doors of the Pig and Whistle. "What about it?" he said, suggestively. They disappeared from tho street, and the curtain then rose on Scene 2, presenting Golden Locks as a dispenser of liquid refreshment, and Jinks and Binks as tho recipients thereof. On the counter, within easy reach, was a small wine-glass full of a dark, sombre- liquid. "What have you got there?" inquired Jinks, indicating the glass. Golden Locks glanced at it and smiled. "That? Oh, that's a new brand of Spanish claret. Very dark, isn't it?" "It is," agreed Jinks, who fancied himself as a connoisseur. "What does it luste like?" "I don't, know," said Golden Locks. "Would you care to ky iti"' "Thanks," said Jinks. "I will." He reached forth, picked up the glass, and held it poised for the ealute. "Cheoro!" he said, and drained it at a gulp. "What the-Pah! Such! Confound it, it's ink!" he'spluttered. "Ink! I'm poisoned! Why didn't you stop me, you Juggins? Euch! Gimme some waterquick!" "Couldn't you sco it was ink?" said Golden Looks, between giggles. _ "Took your word for it," said Jinks, in a you'vc-killed-me-now tone of \<>ice. "Better see a chemist, old chap," said Binks. "You never know, you know." The chemist listened wit'i professional gravity, controlling the twitching corners of his mouth with difficulty. "Don't worry," he said, consolingly. "It won't do you any harm." "But I feel rotten," said Jinks. "I feel all inked up. I smell ink, taste ink." "Chew peppermints," suggested Binks. "Not a bad idea," said the chemist, as he look down the jar. "Binks," said Jinks, impressively, "this is a sign, a portent. Me for the wator wagon now and for ever, amen." "But what about the Englishman, tho Scotchman, and the Irishman?" said Binks. "To tho l'uirple Shades with the Lnglishmau, the Scotchman, and the Irishman!" snapped Jink.;. Here endcth tho story of Jinks s conversion. Homo explanation is duo about the Spanish claret. Golden Locks was poing to write a letter; aud as she had mislaid her inkstand she took n small wineglass, poured ink into it from an earthenware ink-quart, and put it down on tho Counter. Up to that point Golden Locks was innocent. But Jinks's curi- ' ositv was her opportunity. She was (em'ptcd-and fell. Thus have they trifle*} with oiw trust fiinco Adam delved and 1 Eve span.