CLOTHES AND THE MAN

Dominion, Volume 11, Issue 55, 28 November 1917, Page 6

CLOTHES AND THE MAN

■ «.— : — NEW ARMY ORDER AS IT EASILY MIGHT BE1 &

(By "Sylvius.")

"Here comes a sojer, Shoot, bang, soldier; Doesn't lie look funny, Come an' see the sojer!"

Tiny Tommy, swinging on the gate,, singing ins very own lyrics m the singsong maimer that children arc taught in the schools to say —"Twico-one-are-two, twice-two-arc-four"—informed wvo equally grubby, boys of about live years' of ago fcnat someone "on llii) Majesty's* 'ervico" was approaching the garden, gate. Tommy took a livelier interest iu "Bojcrs" tnan anything else—if onei' excepts the Salvation Army Band oit Sunday mornings—and to be patted oui the head by a "gentleman in khaki"' was an event wiur-ii generated enough', flxcitement tor a wnole day, and then, lelfc some over. Tommy's father was. übout ia Clasß K owing to' tho number of brothers and sisters Tommy had, and was thereiore, much to the juvenile lyrist's disgust, not a "sojer." George and Billy, tho two other? uprites of tlio pavement, who wcrs. trench-building among quite, ignorant of the destruction their play; involved, ware only children, and their fathers had enlisted to dodge being called up in the Class B call. Gcorge'a father was still working at tho'flock* factory, but Billy's progenitor had* somehow or other, got into khaki—>■ without any influence, too. When Tommy gave tho vocalised "signal from the gate that a unit of the. anti-Germanic host was approaching, it was "over the top" for the other two in tho front-lino trenches, and soon all three were hanging over tho gate, and, emboldened by numbers,, were shouting out: "Hullo, sojer,"long before the man was near. "I fink it's a German sojer," saidl Tommy, seeking support. "What if he is? We'll runned in-> side and hide, eh?" " 'Praps he's a Turkey—mum say* •'there's turkeys up. the Hutt; and they're fightiu' tho British where God. was born!" ventured George tha learned. "Look at e's clothes—e's a German! Kaisor. 1 sawd them in a book!" 6aidi Tommy, certitude strong iu tones. Certainly tho approachec did not looli 6o trim and smart as is the wout of! the greater majority of our soldiers,, and nis rather slummicky appearance> was emphasised by his uncortain shambling walk, as he, as though without any definite aim in view, kept looking up and down the street, and hitching up his sleeves at the elbow to shorten, them at the wrists. Now, whilst Tommy and Georgie had been speculating as to whether the solr dier was a German or a "Turkey,"' Billy had clambered down from thai gate, and stood just outside on tha footpath, gazing fixedly at the enm-t, ing soldier. "Daddy!" Billy's joyful shriek amj a back kick he gave the gate knocked! his playmates sprawling and crying, aa he flew forward to tho man in sloppy; khaki.

"Hullo, sonny!" said the man, holding out his arms to catch his bounding son, and all his awkwardness dropped from him as he gathered hia youngster to his klria breast. "Glad to seo your old dad?" Glad—the question was absurd, foil the baby boy had muzzled up deliciouslyj in his father's arms, oblivious to' everything snve the ecstasy of having "dad" home again.

It was Billy's father's first noma leave after going into camp, and, according to strict orders —he _ was> out to do the right thing—< lie had come home in a uniform! a couple of sizes too big. Now ordinarily lie was very medium in build—sft s Tin. in lieight and 36 inches round tho. chest—but when Billy's mother sair Billy's father that day there was a) battle royal between smiles and tears, and after the affectionate phase had! passed and a more personal analysis came in proper order, the wife could! not restrain her tongue, and did nob. mean to.

"Well, Will, I got over you enlist-* in<", then going into camp—now you come back to me like this," was tha burden of her semi-humorous criticism.. "Orders, you know—all the fellows are the same. All look a lot of guys, I.know, but what does it matter?" said the soldier, cracking hearty. ''Bo< sides, it'll be better after a- shower ofi rain I"

"Why?" she asked. "Yes, Lizzie, call me when thai weather breaks, because I want moj clothes shrunk!" "Oh, that's it." said Lizzie, laugh-" ing, and even little Billy had to grin at his father's loose coat, with thai sleeves down to his thumb-tip and! bladders of slack above the puttees. "Thought you'd see it in the paper,. Liz. We've got to get big clothes stfl as they'll fit us when we get. a lott of other clothes underneath." ;

"Well, I never!" , ! "So the only time you'll se cus with} a good fit is when we're in the snow-* covered trenches Flanders—that's how the 'eads figure it out!" "Will, it's too bad, making yto look like that. I'm not goinc out with you in that rig. Whv, you'll have all the kids guying you!" "Tommy saided you was a German! * offered little Billy. . „ ~ "Well, I can't blame him," saut Lizzie. "I've seen the German prisoners in the pictures, and barring thei hat you would pass!" . ~, , , "Don't make it too hot, Liz! plead-, ed the soldier. . "Will, go and have a. look in thai glass, -then p'raps you'll make it liotf yourself. I always thought that when a man joined the colours he was taught to be smart and soldierly, not look like! a 'boob'!" . ' Will slunk off to the bedroom td have a look atAimself in the minor) followed by his son (who was quite* satisfied with the uniform). Three minutes later he emerged again. , ... "Liz, you're quite right—it's thai dizzy I"

"isn't itp Take 'cm off and I'll soon; fix the and arms up." Two hours later father, mother, and son went! forth to dissipate in an ice-cream l cabaret, where loose tailored soldiers! cast envious glances at Will's readjusted clothes, dimly wondering v/haS form of pnishment the. antho.-iti;9 would devise to punish Will's home* made, soldierly, sartorial smartness. ■