THE MAGIC WAND

Dominion, Volume 10, Issue 3183, 6 September 1917, Page 7

THE MAGIC WAND

A GERMAN FOOD SATIRE. That the German peoplo can still extract a grim sort of humour from their increasing food difficulties is seen in the many jokes and sketches appearing from time to time.in their "comic", papers. One of the best recently made its appearance in the "Kladdmdatch,' and took the form of a sketch. The dranmtia personno are supposed to lie Herr Batocki, on the one hand, and the long-em-foring public on the other; whilst, the action proceeds by means of a stichoraythic dialogue between the protagonists just mentioned. -The title of tho sketch is "War Economy's Home of Mystery, and when the curtain rises Herr. Profesfor of the Higher Magic Batocki steps forward; bows to the audience, and thus It's quite simple, ladies und gentlemen. I merely sit down in my club armchair and wave my magic wand, wnicli looks just like a paragraph mark, and is made entirely of ofhcial foolscap! Now, what do you see there? Audience; Fish! Lots of fish! 'Batocki: Just so! Kplendid big fieh, from river, sea, and lake! iSow watch carefully. One, two, three. . . What do you see tiow? .. ■ Audiencs: Only a tin! Batocki: -Just 60! Only a. small preserve tin! That's where all the beautiful (isk have gone' to! What do yon think-of that? ... ■ ■ A voice (longingly): Airont they coming out again? ■ Batocki: Not to-day! Later on, perhaps, when the war's over! . . . Look, here I have a Gruyere cheese! Everybody (sniffing) • So it is! Batocki: Hocus pocus, maximum price ABC. . . . O.P.A. Hey, presto! And whero is tho cheese? Look! Wo havo controlled it away! Isn t that a> wonderful trick? ..' . . Again, what do you £eo this time? Audience: An hotel! _ Batocki: Exactly! A first-class Berlin hotel full,of guests! (Waving his wand). And nowß «m.- > A voice:' : A brass plate on it: , Oilier office of the C.P.A. for • ; .!" Batocki: And the guests at the window? The Audience: All gone. .Only a tew fellows who look like rogues! Batocki: Ah, yes; those are the purchasing agents. . . . And now what else can I show you? An obstacle race for butter? Or 'a three-hundred-mark "oose? Or a. cute dodgo for smuggling away malt or corn? Anything you like. A voice: Rubbish! Just make a hue plum sausage appear! Several voices: Oh, do,-please! And a slice of bread and butter! And some shins of beef! And a cup of coffee and cake with it. Batocki: No, ladies and gentlemen, that can't be done. Tho object of our magic isn't to fill your stomachs. I wish you a very good evening.