CAMP HUMOUR

Dominion, Volume 10, Issue 2890, 30 September 1916, Page 8

CAMP HUMOUR

THE STOLEN BLANKETS

• A CRYPTIC JEST Private Blade ivas before his O.C. Ho was hot ivitli indignation, for someone had stolen two of Lis blankets. But, though such thefts are t-o bo put down with a heavy hand, the O.C. was busy, and ho temporised. "Stole two of your,blankets? Well, yon' know what to do, don't you?" "Yes,-sirj but " "Never mind, go ahead," said the O.C. cheerily. Private Blade left the' tent with a load off his mind. That night he^ slept warmly. There was 110 shortage in his blankets, however much anyone else in camp might have shivered. But the next morning ho was before his O.C. again. "Oh!" said that officer, "you aretlio man who lost two blankets, aren't you?" "Yes, sir." "Strange thing, I've lost two blankets now." Private Blade did not flicker an eyelash. "Well, sTiy' he said, "you know what to do." Then the O.C. dismissed him from Ills presence, summarily. DRESSING THE BEfIS. Every day, during his regular inspections of the camp, the medical officer of the day walks through the lines and scrutinises the arrays of beds, with their owners' bedding and clothes neatly arranged upon them, outside the hut doors. A recruit, who was mess orderly at a certain hut, was spoken to by the M.O. concerning tho irregular lines in which the beds were standing before tho hut. "These beds are very badly dressed," • said the officer; "really they're not dressed at all. Just dress them now." Th© recruit had a sense of humour— an expensive possession in such cir- 1 oumstances'. . "Beds, 'shun," he bellowed, while the astounded officer and tho orderly sergeant gaped. "By the right, dress." That is how that particular recruit got C.B. three days after entering camp. ■ A TALE OF BADGES. A number of artillery recruits had been selected for duty as orderlies at the officers' mess. It was necessary for them to smarten themselves up a bit, since the artillery Togard themselves as the smartest unit in camp. • Some of the men had been given uniforms .with broivn buttons, somo blue, some tortoiseshell; and they must all be of brass, with brass cap badges, spurn, riding-crop—all to bo paid for out of tho recruits' own pockets. A man who happened to have some money bought a set of buttons for 3s. Gd., a liat badge cost him 3s. Gd., riding-crop, is. 3d., and spurs 10s. Cd. He was showing his purchases to his mates, one of whom iiad come into camp without a penny. _ "Twenty-ono and nineponco," this man said. "It cost you that,.eh? Well, I know something worth two of that. I can get tho hat badge for 4d., and all the other tilings at the same low prices in Buckle Street, during offico hours." - "Who told you that?" asked tho buyer of tho goods. '-'f>uo of tho old hands in camp." ' "Yes, and when are you likely to bo near Buckle Street during business hours? That was-his littlo_ joke, son." "Well, I call it a' cryptio joke, one where the humour is: dash-well hidden." ■ •' Y ' NOT A WORD! A citizen who has left-a'substantial '.business' to enlist as a privit? was-de-tailed for orderly work in-the -officers' moss. It was a novel experience, especially as, among tho young officers, lie recognised somo -whom lie had known as children or in more recent years. The first officer whoso order lie took looked after tho soldier' as he hurried to tho galley. : Ho had rc<y><*nised him. as his former employer. The orderly presently returned and nearly collided with another raw orderly behind the young officer. As tho soup was placed before him tho officer said: "Well, Sir. , this is a reversal of things, isn't it? How aro you getting on?" "Oh! All right," was tlio cheery reply. "I've just spilt half a plate of soup down your hack, but I don't suppose it matters." ' "Not at all," the officer' agreed. "Don't say a word about it."