WAR'S LITTLE IRONIES

Dominion, Volume 9, Issue 2758, 29 April 1916, Page 14

WAR'S LITTLE IRONIES

WHAT THE RAILWAY TRANSPORT OFFICER SEES

SOME HUMAN TOUCHES [Even the daily routine of a busy railway transport officer at. tho front catches some of the reflections from tho distant fighting line. His office is a sort of dearing-house of postimpressions, as tho following jv'orcstinif kaleidoscope from tho "Westminster Gazette" shows.] I,—Tha Prisoner. . The R.T.O. at Railhead was soliloquising on the war, the weather, and tho lateness of the mail. A travel-stained soldier entered tho office and saluted. "Yes?" said the R.T.O. "I've come to reportj Sir." "Tos; who are jou? Whero aro you from?" "Base, Sir; a prisoner and escort." "Prisoner, eh; what's he up for!"' "Desertion; caught at Base, sent tip to have the sentence promulgated, Sir." "Shot at dawn, I suppoio? Well, where are you for?", "Headquarters —-th Army. Sir." •'"You know tho way? You'll liavo to foot it." The soldier saluted and crossed to tho door. "Half a minute, though; there may bo room 011 the column. Mow many are you?—three, I supposo?" said the 11.T.0. wearily. "No, sir; there's only mo." ' "What! Lost the prisoner?" "No, Sir. Lost tho escort down tho line; I'm tho prisoner." ll.—The Subaltern. The 11.T.0. was very busy; his work can he very strenuous at times. A subaltern camo into the ollice. "Captain Duncan about?" he asked. "Yes; he'll ho back in a minute. Want to seo liiai personally or will 1 do?" "Yes, I want to seo him, lio's in ilio Blankshires, isn't her—Arthur Duncan." * "Yes, that's him; will you wait?" .answered the R.T.O. The subaltern eat down. "Thanks." ho said, and then added apologetically, "He's my brother, you know; haven't scon him for ages—only happened to hear in the town he was here." "Rummy how one drops across 0110's i people out liere," said tho R.T.O. y"Hcre's a paper, only yesterday's." "Thanks." The subaltern readied acfoss the table. "Haven't soon one since I left England." Tho 11.T.0. went on with hi 3 work. Tho subaltern read tho paper. Captain Duncan returned in a fow minutes, and sat down without speaking. The subaltern glanced up, and then continued to rend his paper. "Very odd," thought tho R.T.O. "Wonder why tho Sub. doesn't speak to his brother." Ho looked from ono to the other. "Damned odd." "Oh, Captain Duncan,' 1 , ho said at last, "this chap wants to' seo you personally." Captain Duncan looked up. "Wants to see 1110?" ■Tho subaltern put his paper down. "Oh —er, I was—er." lie seemed puzzled. "Aro you Captain Duncan, of the Blankshires ?'' t "Yes, certainly." "I hoard there was a .Duncan in tho Blankshires hero, so I thought I'd look in and see him on my way up country. Must bo another fellow of the same name." "Yes," said Captain Duncan. "Thero is—thero was another fellow 'in tho other battalion killed'two days ago ftt Neuvo Chapellc..Awful good lad; rotten luck." . ■ There was a silence tense with somo intangiblo emotion. The subaltern turned white. The R.T.O. cursed inwardly. Tho telephone bell rang, and Captain Duncan picked up tho receiver. "Oh, Well," said the subaltern, "I must get along. So long, you chaps," and he left tho office abruptly. "Odd fellow," said Captain Duncan. ■ lll.—The Prisoner of War. The 11.T.0. at Railhead filled his pipe automatically, and thought about something; quito different. After all, very few people do. think about the filling of their pipe. A checker entered the ollice. "Sir!" "Yes, Waller, what do you want?" asked the R.T.O. !, "Those German prisoners, Sir." "Yes." , "Tho German officer, Sir; speaks English; asked mo to present his compliments, and would you be so good as to give him another blanket?" "No; tell him I can't—l haven't any to give him; toll him to keep tlio truck door closed—tho train is leaving in a couple of hours. He'll bo at Base in a few hours." , "Very good, Sir," answered the checker. "And pleaso, Sir: could you give him something to read? —he speaks excellent English." "No; can't do that cither." "Thank you, Sir; I'll go and tell him." "Wait a minuto, Waller." The R.T.O. got up and looked on a shelf. 110 found what he wanted—a Government Blueboolc. "Tako this to him, and toll him it's all I can give liim. Toll him all tho incidents have been verified, and aro vouched for by tho witnesses." "Thank you, Sir." Tho checker saluted and left tho office. The R.T.O. lit his pipe with a French sulphur match, but ho was thinking of something quite different "Glad it was the unoxpurgatcd edition," 110 thought. IV.—The Engine Driver. The' R.T.O. can bo very busy 111 ordinary times, but during tho Retreat an R.T.O.'s job was busier than busy. Tho endless stream of men had to bo put hurriedly into tho fow available trains. The troops poured in, but tho tiainii only arrivod in a miserable trickle, and all tho time tho sound of tho enemy's guns grow noarer. Tho R.T.O. saw the last train steam into tho station. / "Got my valiso ready, Daniel?" ho said. "Yes, Sir," replied his servant. "Tako it and put it in tho roar van nf this train, get in vV'U'self, n.n<t stay thero. I'll perhaps join later. Go through with tho train as far as you can. This will bo tho last train." "Very good, Sir." The R.T.O. hurried into his office. His subaltern was busy at tho telephone. "AVell, Jimmy," he said, "tho last train's just in. Wo shan't got another one through before they blow up tho blidgo. Hope tlioso two regiments buck up." "My brother's in 0110 of them." ■Tho subaltern looked out.of tho window. "Here they come, and there aro some hallv Uhlans in the distance." "Yes, we shall luivd to buck up," said tho 11.T.0. "You go up 011 tho footplate ; don't Int the en'tine-drivsr go till T give you the i tip. I'll whistle. And ninkn him stop the other side of the bridge, till Hut Sappers have blown it up." "Right 011, Sir." "Good-bye," said tho R.T.O. "I'll join the train if T can. See yon again one dav, I hope." "So long." When the R.T 0. had (succeeded ill getting nearly all the men on board lie ran up to the head of Ihe J.rain to aim ho"' his subaltern was getting on. He looked into tile cab of the engine and saw his subaltern with Ilia sorvioo

revolver levelled at the head of tho en-gine-driver, who was shaking liko it leal. "Hullo, Jimmy, what's up?" no asked. "It's all right," onino tho olioory reply. "I had to bring him to roitwin. "Well, for Heaven's sake don't slmol. him; there's not nnothor man who can drive the mac'hino within five miles.