BOOKS OF THE DAY

Dominion, Volume 9, Issue 2747, 15 April 1916, Page 9

BOOKS OF THE DAY

STACE STORIES AND SOME OTHERS. , i It is a long time since I happened Vcross a book so thickly studded with teood stories as is "A ■ Modern Colum-; fius," by R. G. Knowles (Werner Laurie). Mr. Knowles, whose fame as a comedian is world wide, is an American' by birth. .He started life as-a shop 'toy, gravitated to a big department 'store in Chicago, and then, being 'threatened with consumption, went out iWest and witnessed , the big mining rush from which sprung the city of Leadville. ■Becoming very popular as an amateur ..vocalist and comedian, he finally took, to ihe variety stage as a professional, r -being a member of more than one fa'mous minstrel company. : It was a. iproud moment for the young comedian .when he got an engagement with the Austin Australian Novelty Company at a,salary of fifty dollars a week.. This, Was in the later eiglitiesj and'since ;then■the'/author has had a world-wide experience of the stage, being as known in England and Australia as in his native land, and -having travelled Extensively in India, China,' Japan, and the "I'ar i East generally. He has had his;-ups ! .andV.downs,V but could,".l expect',* truthfully claim to, have, ever, given . a.' sturdy .negative to.- the '.'Are ■We Down-Hearted?" query. Even in his earliest travelling days, he kept his eyes about , him for a curious or comical incident, and being a'- practised and genial raconteur, his book is much more entertaining than the average autobiography'of a successful player. Travelling, when hard up,-on; a small vessel laden with, live lobsters, he is reminded of a story told.of one Tom Sharkey, E famous pugilist in his day:— .

Tom was very , fond of lobsters,' and, strolling into a restaurant one day, seated himself at a table and ordered hie favourite dish. The waiter. In due course placed a lobster. before him, but on turning it over Tom discovered that a claw ■trap missing. ; He glanced reprovingly at the .waiter,-and said, "Where is the other olaw?" The waiter replied,'"Well,:you see, Mr. -Sharkey,' the lobsters are brought Into New York alive, and on-the:trip 1 up the coast they frequently flght, and. evidently. this one had'-the worst oi l , it." Sharkey , pushed.' his plate from i him, and feaid drily, "Bring me the winner." .

A most valuable possession for a variety entertainer is sang froid, and a determination not to be'disconcerted'by the coldness of an audience. On one occasion, iwhen appearing at;' the "Casino -Theatre,. Chicago," the author touldn't get; his. jokes to "go." 'There .was a.positively. Antarctic chilliness in .the'Vway the audience received his stories and.witticisms. The comedian, hoivwer,' -."stucki! .it. ..outi" and after humorously.:' complaining because they .wouldn't laugh, "said he would try •them again''by:relating a personal experience in: their, own city., :' ■

The other, 'day. I ; found-',inyseli ■ walking along Illinois". Strtet, and 1 finally I stopped in front of the Court-house*. A greatmany of you don't know where-' the' Court-liou&e is, but you will before "long if you get your deserts. : A'orowdhad assembled, and as they started! forward,.! joined them and Balned a seat in.the" Criminal' Court-room. There T listened*'io the trial of a man who had committed lone of the most daßtardly outrages known' to modern times. He ha<i actually murdered hie wife, seven- innocent children, .and an aged mother. The jury rei-urned a-verdict of murder'in the-first degree, without even leaving their, seats. The Judge thanked, them for their verdict,.] and, turning to the prisoner, said:—"Never have I tried such e case.' . Sever have -1 heard of such a crime. There are no ex-, tenuating circumstances connected with it whatever, and no penalty, "equal to ,th e crime committed. Hanging is not t-o be considered, bo," ho concluded, VI sentence you to. be removed from:' the .Court-room where you now are and. taken to the.Casino Theatre, and there be made' to perform for seven nights, with the usual matinees, and may the Lord' have mercy on you." This did tho triok. The . audience looked for a motnent, Tubbed its eyee, and thenbegan a laugh which broke into a deafening roar. In the, midst of -it I faded from the view, but,the audience was wide jiwake now, and up on its toes,, and the rest of the entertainment' went with a swing.

Thousands of Now Zealanders have laughed at that amusing comedy "A Trip to Chinatown." Of its author, Charles Hoyt, Mr. Knowles tells several stories. Hoyt started in life as a' journalist, took to the stage, made money.as an, aotor-manager, and finally became a member of. the New Hampshire 'State Legislature. He was a man who never wasted words. Mark Sullivan, an excellent, character actor, happened to hear that the part of Welland Strong, in "A Trip to Chinatown," had not been filled at Hoyt's New York theatre, and immediately dispatched the following telegram:—"Hoyt, Madison Square Theatre, New York. —I have a great desire to play Woliand Strong.— Sullivan, Boston. Theatre." The answer was characteristically . brief, and to the point"Sullivan, Boston Theatre.—You are alono in your / desire.— Hoyt." ' : . ..... ' I. havo read not a few stones '.of Colonel "Bob" Ingersoll, ..the famous agnostic lawyer; of whose legal -talents and lovable ' personality the author speaks very warmly, but Mr. Knowles adds several which are new to me. Ingersoll's methods of conducting a defence were often as curious as they ■were unconventional. On one occasion ho was defending a man on a charge of manslaughter—lie had struck and billed a street loafer who was insulting ,the accused's wife. At the trial,-Inger-soll cross-examined none of the witnesses —not-, a single question was put to one of them; His speech for., the defence was brief, but effective. . He said: , I am not going, to take up the ■ time, of the Court, except to tell you a little story. A few days ago I received a, letter'.from the wife of my client, saying she was in creat trouble.. X called ujon her,' and found that one of her little children had juet died, and that she was also without, money. It was then that I did what any other? man in this Oourt-Toom would have done. I saw that the child had a decent burial. I attended the funeral, and upon returning endeavoured to comfort the Qis* tracted mother as best I could. The remaining child, a little girl of seven years cam© over to mo, , and, claspinf? her little hands on iny knee. to let. papa come home? That is all. And now, gentlemen of the jury, in the words of that little child, are you WW ♦<% lftt niTtf. fro home? . ♦ • Tho foreman of the jury started to his feet, and, with tears streaming down bis face, shouted, "By God! you bet we will. Mr Knowles has many amusing stories to tell of his experiences whilo playing at English music-halls, and ot certain curious episodes in his Australian, Indian, and Far Eastern tours. 'At Charters Towers, up m Northern Queensland, he went to hear Sir George Ueid., In the middle of a sentence a man in the audience shouted out., xou ought to be dead." For once the famous "Yes-No" politician was nonplussed, end hesitated for a moment. 1 hen no replied: "Suppose I were dead,' what would happen then?" A voice from anbthor part of the hall said, in sepulchral touos: "The fat would bo in the nre. "Thoro was nothing more," remarks the author, "to be said on either side jicid laughingly quitted, so did tlio nudionco, howling with delight." Mi. Knowles re-tells, too, an old story about Reid. The politician was in the midst of an eloquent oration when a man in fcbo crowd threw an egg at liirn. The ogg struck Reid on his white shirtfront, splashing his dress-clothes, and littlo rivulets of yellow ran in every director their sourcc being a sea, of yellow DCliro covering Sir George's manly bosom. Jiow the vioSim is a man of great breadth.

both in mind and body, and as he is not too tall he displays his weight to the best possible advantage. When the egg struck home, the assembled multitude did not pity him;-they just.laughed; and during the laugh.Sir George smiled and laboured with a handkerchief at the same time, -removing as much as he could of the wreckage, As he finished tho laugh ended, and, looking straight- at his audience, he said: "Thank God-the Great Auk is dead. Then the audienoe laughed louder than jever, but this time they laughed with tho speaker; and that incident "made' mm. Two stories of A.be Lincoln are also worth quoting. During the Civil War some busybodieb of the Cold Tea persuasion went to Washington and tola the President that General Grant was given to drinking whisky. _ To _tho ustonishment of the. deputation, Lincoln asked what brand of whisky Grant favoured. The much surprised deputaClon wanted to know why the President asked such a question. Lincoln replied: "So that I can send a barrel ot the same brand ,to some of the other generals." That the "Stop the War" type of lunatic is not purely a twentieth century product is snowii'.by another 'Lincoln' story, this' time' about a committee which waited upon "Old Abe" and told him they had come from Chicago, being: "sent by the Almighty 'to stop the war." Lincoln replied: "1 can understand thoroughly that tho Almighty wants to stop the war, but why He sent youby" :way of Chicago is' more than I would etfer be able to 'find out'.'' .' ■ ■ Mr. Knowles oan be oongratudated Upon having written a most entertain-ing-book, full of good, stories, and con. taming many : &hrewd' comments upon life as he. has -found it in . the many interesting places he has visited. The volume contains a large number of interesting illustrations'from photographs taken by the author. (N.Z. price, 7s. Gd.) , ~ . , , '. : .