SOLDIER'S JESTS

Dominion, Volume 9, Issue 2650, 22 December 1915, Page 6

SOLDIER'S JESTS

PASSING THE WRONG ORDER ON The long hours of daylight which prevail in summer interfere sometimes with night marching and manoeuvres, and it frequently haufiens that night operations are carried out in daylight. Nevertheless, the same conditions are observed, the officers and men conversing only in whispers and all orders being .passed dlong the line. It is strange to see a company manoeuvring in silence and to hear only the whispered commands ana the echoes of the whispers passing down the r«inks. But a.n even mors remarkable spectacle was witnessed a few nights ago, when, owing to the wilful action of a soldier in passing on a different order to that which he had received, a half company appeared, to its officers, to have gone mad. Tlw troops were marching' along a road, fringed with manuka and wild brier, when the order to halt was given. "Haiti Halt!—"tho whisper passed along the line, till it came to tho wag who caused the trouble. He whispered:

"Take cover!" "Take cover! Take cover"—the order ran along. And to the amazement of the officers the men dived off the road into the lone; grass and began creeping into sheltered positions behind _ the shrubs. Tiie joker, standing. with a very serious countenance, looked as amazed as anyono; but it was easy to trace the trouble to him, and he was duly punished. The joke would not have been worth much if it had'happened in the darkness, but in board daylight the offect was startlingly ludicrous. A High Temperature. "Yes, I've been in hospital," the soldier said. "What was wrong?" Nothing, only a high temperature. I had a cold and the hospital orderly' took my temperature. It was 104. Next day I felt all right, but the orderly said I must stay in bed and keep quiet as my temperature was still 104. It stayed at that for a week. Then, one day, a chap came into the ward and said lie would teach the orderlies some mods' cal work. "Hands up all those who can't take a temperature," he says, and blow mc if my orderly didn't shove up his hand. Next, day I was down to 94 and I came out." • Horse Lines. An aspirant for the post of n.c.o. in the Armv Medical Corps was being asked a fe\v questions on camp sanitation. "Why aro horse lines dangerous near a camp?" the examiner asked. "Because a. fellow might trip over them iii the dark," was the prompt reply. He was given another chance. "Wliy aro Ilies objectionable," he was asked. . ' • "Because tlioy are earners of mal do mer," sgid the bnislifa lad. sad thon lie was passed ouW