THE MAN WITH A GRIEVANCE

Dominion, Volume 7, Issue 2180, 19 June 1914, Page 9

THE MAN WITH A GRIEVANCE

A MODERN PLAY OF MANY ACTS AND INNUMERABLE SCENES. [Br Sunny Sam,] DRAMATis PeRSONAE; Gabriel: Princo of Mars. llan with* Urievaiice-a Certain. Politician, i , Editora, Attendant, una Uriors. Scene: Room in Firmament. Seated, Editors, busily scribbling! Standing, Gabriel, watching with much interest. Knocking is heard. Gabriel: Who goeth there? Man With Grievance:, It is I, 0 Gabriel. Let me in. Editors (slyly): Hal Hal Hero ho is again, and still trying to get IN. (Enters, hurriedly, i\lan With Grievance ; does not notice Editors.) Gabriel to M.W.G.: Thou art late. Didst thou miss the 'bus? M.W.G. (panting): Oh, dear I I am so tired, and I have been running all the way with somo dreadful Editor people after rue. Yes, Gabriel, they are terrible people, and there is one of them I wouldn't shako hands with nor pick up if he foil down. He is the dreadfullcst.of them all I , Editors (sotto voce): I wonder if he means me? M.W.G. (continuing): And I have hastened all this way to tell you what they do to mo. Some days they say skunky things about me when they shouldn't, and other days they say nothing about me when they should, and ' '~ Editors (aside, chanting): "And we have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and wo havo done those things we ought not to have done." M.W.G.: And they will keep on about giving tho Dreadnought without consulting a few paltry Members of Parliament. But there is one creature 1 ■ Ho is worse than —

Gabriel: Hast thou not mettle 'enough in thco to kill care ? M.W.G.:' It •" isn't that, Gabriel ; it's the Editors. Thoy WILL say things about nie; and thoy keep on about Red things,'and there is one Editor —the one I wouldn't shako hands—ho keeps on about Wilford in Christckurch,. and published it. too; andthey all said Sir J.. Findlay liked "private life," and I haven't oven heard 1 of my friend David Nathan since the Sydney interview, and it's all their'fault. And, oh, dear I (mop's his brow)), what with tho worry of my own papers and all the other stupid people'that help me, and/after all I havo done for'or —-er— —:' Gabriel:' Whom? Whom? MVW.Gir: For the ono and the other. And do you know, they even laugh at my Bart;, and my \figures, and the invitations; and'l thought when I went' up in tho aeroplane that would save the country and me, and I got into the moving pictures for them,' and nothing was made of it in,the papers, and;,oh, dear! the, Red Feds, are .difficult to—er—— ..■.'.'.'.. Gabriel: What pace is this thy tongue beeps? What is it to me? Hast thou come for thy halo'? . M.W.G. (eagerly):. Ah, yes, but I thought when I told what those people did to me—especially tho;one—l would gain sympathy and,get a more shiny halo—er—than a—well, I used to work that kind of thing a bit below, and it was all right until a dreadful paper came and—- ; : "-.' , „"- , - ■■ -Gabriel 1 "(ifi' 1 ; Bring "forth the'halo. (JBrings.it arid puts it on M.W.G, Finds it .'much too small.) .Gabriel (to"M.Wi'G.): I amsorry. for with .much! misgovern ment thy head hath grown unevenly, and causeth thy Halo to fit thee ill. M.W.G. (dUropointedly): It is a ver> little one, and iir too small. Gabriel (examining M.W.G.'s head): Thy head in places is soft like.unto the thistledown, and in others it riseth higher like unto the swollen stream gushing with reckless , action into the bottomless pit. Thy Halo restctk .badly upon thee, woeful one. There lodges' something on thy brain. M.W.G.: But, Gabriel, in all conscience, and after all I have done, could you not change '. it ? . Gabriel: Thou hast many changes in thy time,, and worn many robes of apparel. - Sometimes thou putteth it on the one side out, and sometimes the other. Now, thou hast reached a piano' which khowoth not change, and thou wilt iind what is remaineth. It is not ' seemly thou shouldst seek to wear thy Halo top .to tho bottom and bottom to the top. • ... Editors: Hoar, hear.' Gabriel: What hast thou dragging at thy side, like unto ,a hobble? Attendant: That, sire, is a Baronetcy. It did handicap him somo on earth. Maybe he seeks to lose it here. M.W.G. (struggling- with Halo): Oh, dear, everything is going wrong here, just as it did below. It is another conspiracy to injure me.. This won't ■fit, and there's Mackenzie snug in a soft job in London; and then Dismal Davey lost the Mayoralty, and Brown wants License and Isitt' doesn't, and Russell doesn't belie,ve in the other fellow having land, • and little Sidey really doesn't really. know what to do. And it is all the fault of the Editors, but I am glad to bo where I shall never see their miserable rags again. But there is one Gabriel (interrupting): I seest now how it cometh thy Halo.fits thee so ill. Thy woes are uppermost in thy mind. Thou broodest on thorn, and doth cause them to be magnjfied, as doth tho glass over tho tiny grain of sand. It 6ecmoth to rise up like yonder hillock and mountains. Thou hast done this thing until thy head hath bumps upon it, as numerous as tho warts upon tho hands. I pray thee choose not to speak more. M.W.G. (starting off again): Oh, dear, some men bite the hand "

Gabriel (turning to Editor): Canst thou not causa this character to cease? Editors (loudly): Call tho Criers! Criers (outside): Brimstone Edition Dominion! Hore.y'are! M.W.G.: Ugh I-!- ?— ?—!-! Lightning, thunder, earthquakes.' M.W.G. rushes out shouting a fresh series of grievances.

N.B. —Historians relate, that in the year 2000, in an obscure quarter of tho globe, a Halo was picked up by explorers.. On tho outside the only decipherable words were: Joseph, Bart. After .further examination, and on the inside, in that portion of the Halo in close proximity to tho brain, were tho letters DOMN.