TALKING AT LARGE.

Dominion, Volume 6, Issue 1856, 16 September 1913, Page 4

TALKING AT LARGE.

SAMPLES OF THE SPEECHES,

[ABOUT A COOK,

The art of saying nothing in particular in a great many words is being carried to extremes in the House of Representatives at the present timo. Somo samples of tho speeches delivered by Opposition members in tho House last evening are given below. The question under discussion at tho time was a proposal moved by a member of tho Opposition to rcduco by a lump sum tho vote for the Mental Hospital at Auckland.

Mr. Laurenson, speaking shortly after nine o'clock, enlarged upon tho wrongs of a certain cook at Avondalc Hospital. "A littlo whilo ago," ho :-aid, "1 had an opportunity of saying something about the baker. I would like now to say a few words about that estimable gentleman, the cook. I see ho is placed down on this list at £150 a year. Tho proposed reduction in salaries amounts to 1 per cent. lam informed that the cook is a gentleman of Scoteli extraction — you can imagine the appearance of that man when tho news comes down to him that salaries aro to be reduced by one per cent.; that five and twenty silver shilling- aro to come off his pay. Why, instead of being a contented servant of the institution he'-will become a sour, morose man. I read an article some time ago on the moral ; effect of clothes " The Chairman here called Mr. Laurenson to order. , Mr. Laurenson: "I will desert the clothes question, and come now to the food question. If a suit of clothes has such au effect on a man—if a new suit of clothes has a fcrightoning effect on a. man —what is the effect of a good meal? You can imagine a cook, soured by tho news that bis salary is to bo reduced by one per cent., turning out a diabolical dinner. ,You may imagine it would bo meat of misery and soup of sorrow ; the man would take no joy or pleasure in tho institution at all, and tho would be of the most disastrous description. lam no supporter of .the present Administration, but in regard to this motion they have my sincere sympathy. To tako one per cent, off the salaries of the estimable gentlemen performing duties up at that institution—why, I wonder that the Auckland members don't rise as a body. There is tho member for Eden who is slumbering in liis seat " The Chairman: I must ask the lion, gentleman to confine himself to the question, or I shall have to ask .'him to resume his soat.

: Mr. Laurenson: ."I will endeavour to do so. You will admit thcro is a certaiii amount of difficulty in dealing with the question. There, is the salary of the assistant medical man. Olio of tho speakors has pointed .out, and properly pointed out, that this medical man is appointed after five years' draining at the,Dunedin Medical School, or a similar institution outside New_ Zealand. Ho must pass a stiff examination before over being allowed to enter, tlic medical college. He is a 'trained scientific man, and after he has imbibed, the latost information in connection with medicine and surgery, we pay him thts salary that is usually.paid.to a decent ordinary clerk. The resolution before the House proposes to take £2 10s. off this officer's salary. We liavo all heard of the Scotchman who come up to London, 'and said that he hadn't been thore for ait hour before 'bang wont saxponce.' If the salary'of this medical officer is out down, he will probably make tlio life of every patient under him a misery to him for the next six months. It .would bo a very bad step to take." ' After criticising some uttaVances by the momber for Ohinomuri, Mr. Laurenson went on to staite tha£ if lie were in. a similar position to the coo'k" he had mentioned, and anyone cut down his. salary, lie would servo up a dinner that would disagree with the man _who _ reduced his salary. He dealt in a similar strain ivith the salary of the matron at the Auckland Hospital, before the bell rang which brought his speech to' an end. Mr. Wllford's "Turn." . Another sample of. tlio matter talked to use up the timo was a speech at 0.15 a.m. by Mr. T. M: AVilford. Some of the provious speakers had had a little to say about tlio salary of an engineer. "This matter of engineering," said Mr. AA'ilford, "is of sufficient importance to discuss, and I think this salary could bo saved if we developed the oilfields in Taranaki. You see,, ,theso engineers are considerably exorcised as to tho use of coal to generate steam to drive these engines. AVo could reduce these salaries if, instead of coal, we had oil. When I was in Victoria, British Columbia, I found tho Princcss Louise was driven by oil, and a very fast vessel she was. And the engineer was a man who had been a fireman, promoted,to look after, the oil engines. The result was economy and .efficiency. Now, can't wo got on to •that?" Mr. Bradncy: Point of order. I think tho .honourable gentleman is away from the subject beforo the llouso. Mr. AVilford: No; nothing of tho kind. I am talking about engineers." ! Mr. Lee (Acting-Chairman): I must . ask the honourable gontleman to keep as near as possible to tho subject before the Committee. Mr. AVilford: I will endeavour not to skate upon tho ice. . . . Talking of oil,' paraffin is a good tiling. I have been taking paraffin for eighteen months, and. it has done me a lot of good. An lion, member'..That's why you aro so slippery. Mr. AVilford: But I didn't rise to talk of oil, although in the last speech Mr. AVinstou Churchill made about tho Navy ho declared for a policy of using oil in tho Navy instead of coal. Mr. Lee: I ask the honourable gentleman to speak to tho question before tho House. That is certainly not tho question beforo tho House. Mr. AVilford: I am discussing the engineers, and we may as well speak of the duties of tho engineers. I presume he gets up at 8 o'clock, has his breakfast, and goes to work. I will come to what ho has to do for this £120, and wo'll seo if he is paid enough. Has ho to shift the coal, or has he a coal man to help, him? And if so, is tho coal man paid? If the engineer has to pay for the coal man he is getting too littlo, and if ho shifts tho coal him-1 self he is getting too' much. Somebody "snored very loudly, whereupon Mr. Escott: I want to know whether it is in order for more than one gentleman to address the Ch.lir at ono timo? Mr. Lee: I am not aware of any other addressing me. And so Mr. AVilford pursued his way for ten minutes.