LETTER OF INTEREST.

Dominion, Volume 6, Issue 1770, 7 June 1913, Page 10

LETTER OF INTEREST.

AFFINITIES THAT NEVER MEET, . Tho following letter from a correspondent asks a fow questions of interest, The subject of marriago is, and must always be, of interest, mid necessarily its fluctuations—tho greater or lessor number of marriages that tako placo in a given period of time—aro tho offects of causos moro or Miss obscuro;— To "Imogen," Dear Sir or Madam,—-I guess it is' 'Madam" becauso you don t got men bothering about soup jardiniore, or what Mrs. Blank woro at tho garden party. What ih it caueos mo to writo this nolo to you? It is this: I am 37, and not married yet, and not only one, but several have said "it is such a lottery that I think you aro bettor off as you cro." Why aro there eo many unhappy marriages? Why don't tho young men marry? A visitor just out from London declared that what struck her mostly while going through Notv Zealand -was tho fact that the young men in Now Zealand don't marry. Now, wlioao fault is it, or, rather, where does tho fault lio—in tho girls, in tho j-oung man, or in tho conditions around us? When looking for a wifo, what docs tho avoragu young man icquiro in a girl, or shall I say what is it that frightens him oil ? Is it her lovo of finery, of pleasure, cr general intellectual ignorance, becauso you meet many fine , girls wno never read and aro practically ignorant? Now, what is it that a. girl wants in a man beforo ho can become her husband? Docs aha want him to 1m good looking, to have a good job, to bo homo every evening? Must ho bo a teetotaller? Must ho "out out" tobacco? What, in short, must ho bo? Thcro are plenty of young people walking about (both sexes) who aro sick of boarding-liouses, etc., yet they don't get married. Why is it? Can you give mo a solution? In London, I believo, there nvo two or three societies run. under strict supervision, whoso obj«ct is, bluntly speaking, match-making. You hand in you.r pedigree, references as to character, etc. (all of which aro verified by the society afterwards). Then tlie 6ccretary will introduce yon to a cliaperono, who in turn will guide you into tho net, but in tho right way,—l aui, yours in tribulation, ■0. Ono woman, on being asked tor opinion as to why so many women wero unmarried, thought that for one thing women wero far more analytical nowadays than they used to bo, and did not take things so much for granted. What with tho reading of many books (good or otherwiso) and tho great rise of tho daily press, they had learned to think for themselves and to question tlio desirability of pome of tho restrictions that wero laid upon them in marriago. Another thing was that there woro so many outlota for their energies if they did not wish to marry, or if they nover mot'tho dim they loved sufficiently to marry. Ono man, questioned upon the matter, expressed tho opinion that men and women wero both too selfish nowadays. They wanted to start with far moro than their fathers or mothers ever began lifo together with, and if it camo,to a choice between marriago and their pleasures, they preferred tho latter quite often. The increased cost of living wxib another reason. Another man (with evidently much of the old Adam in him) said that "girls nowadays wero so extravagant," and with man's proverbial thought for the fleshpots of Egypt, added that tho only time they over thought of learning to cook, was tho last fortnight beforo they married. It is quite possible there is something in what was said by a woman clork. According to her, it may be becauso tho right man has never asked them, because, after all, many women aro quite ready to faco a great deal for tho man they caro for. "There wero far too many missing affinities floating around tho world'." As for tho intellectual ignorance of n number of girls, it may bo that our correspondent was too hasty. Quito often girls have confessed they frequently did not know'wliat to talk to a man about, becauso lio seemed to have no other interests in lifo than himself, his games, and everything that concerned him. On other matters ho was a blank. There is a good deal of tho chameleon about women, and sometimes they suit themselves to their company. In any case, tho subject is a very wido one, and perhaps more light cau bo thrown upon tlio subject by other people.