OFF THE HIGHWAY.

Dominion, Volume 6, Issue 1767, 4 June 1913, Page 8

OFF THE HIGHWAY.

PATERFAMILIAS & THE PHOTOGRAPHER. PHASE OF THE AGE. [By "Mure Mere."] The sun was just dipping 'Over tho edge of tho Tinakori Hills. Tho keenness of a bright day was getting moro pronounced, and tho lengthening shadow along tho Botanical Garden pathways swept up almost deserted tracks. A group of children still lingered near tho see-saw; a cliubby-fucoil man pushed two still moro chubby-faced children in a go-cart over tho gravelled way. Thero wero no hindrances to his progress; Paterfamilias smoked the pipo of peaco in soreno contemplation of tho quiet beauties of tho ice and mountain plants. Occasionally ho would causo looks of wonderment to suffuse the faces of tho chubby assets of this Dominion as bringing the pushcart to anchor ho would peer intently at a garden patch whero some bulb was mayhap sending forth an oarly 6hoot.

Again ho would resume tho perambulation, calmly pacing behind his charges. A turn in tho pathway, and ho halted. Surely tho discovery of a last roso of summer was not causing that expression of alarm? Or was ho annoyed at tho sight of a photographer, who had two picturo patrons sitting uncomfortably on a rocky corner trying to conjure up an expression which would be in keeping with tho piece of sky which tho camera man said he could just get in the focus? Several times the photographer enveloped himself in his hood: tho lady, however, was not satisfied with tho background—there was cither a cabbage tree too many, or too few; and ere she could mako up her mind tho waning sunsliino passed' on, and tho spot was in gloom. This decided the photographer—a good light was essential, so ho led his victims to a corner whero tho sun's last gleani9 were glinting, and somo nodding yellow' chrysanthemums, a bored-looking gentleman, and a somewhat palpably dissatisfied lady wero soon limned on tho lens.

Paterfamilias did not wait though;once the photographer had moved off ho headed quickly in tho opposite direction—tho spell had been broken. Later I found him on a secluded seat, once more serene in the play of tho children' Ho greeted me. Had I seen the photographer?. Yes, but I thought he had folded up his baggage and departed. "Thank you," he said, as if I had conferred a benefaction. "Some people," lie continued, "tremble at the thought of earthquakes, others don't like snakes; there are peoplo who disdain the motorcycle, a-jid. yet again a most innocentloolriDg mob of cattle strikes terror into the hearts of some. Those things don't worry mo overmuch—l'd rather faeo them than ono photographer. Curious, you say? Now, my brother's different—he gets his photo taken in his cricket' team, in his hockey suit, when lie goes to a yachting picnic, when ho conies homo again; pictures taken at tho seasido and pictures taken on the plains. Trained up to it, you might say. In 'my younger days in our nativo village the'old tin-typo photographer wandered along every now, and then, and after a motherly brush-up, and the donning of a clean collar wo would bo ranged alongside the weatherboards of tho paternal roof-tree for tho ordeal. That was the seed of his present complaint and no operation can eradicate it. On mo the effect was different." And he saddened so that I sympathised with ono bo afflicted. "I dodgo them when I can, though; but it's getting so hard. Go to a dance— there's the flashlight; a smoke concert— tho flashlight; look at an election result board—and ten to one tho flashlight nearly blinds you. Where can one escapo 'em? They even disturb tho poor penguins at the South Pole now so as to take their photos. And look at King Dick at the Zoo. Poor fbllow, ho verily can't escapo 'em. 'He would have been slowly wearied to distraction, I hold, if those cubs hadn't como along. I was there on Sunday, and a photographer man had the camera cap almost through the bars of tho cage. Tho lioness paced snarlingly in front of him; one of tho cub 9 spat cat-like at him, but the other, like my brother, seemed quite ready to squat for liis photo, nose nuzzling in his paws and eyes steadily on tho camera. I was pleased though that brother cub always spoilt such posing;'and I hope that littlo Maud, as they call her, is not allowed to contract the photograph habit. That man pursued tho trio round and round tlio cage till ho gained his snap. And then ho bundled up and left. I liked tho look on tho lioness's faco as she watched him go through tho gateway at the side of the den. She has not that fondness for getting her children's photo taken that my mother had."

And after a fow mom'ents' reverie he thought of tho danger ho had just escaped. "Had that very man along thero stopped mo I would havo simply submitted. Tliev fascinate m*s now like a snako does a biixl. A ma.ii! told mo tho other day that there had been an Iron Age, a Stono Age, and what not. This, I say, is the Camera Ago. What do you think?" ' lie did not wait to hear what I thought, but pucsu?d photography. "Ono time, ho went on, "a man got his picture taken when ho was twenty, and his side whiskers woro budding; on liis wedding day, with tho chected trousers, firmly clasped gloves, and look of iron; and again, perhaps, twenty years later. But now? And why—because oseape's so difficult. Only tho other day ono ot thorn pursued mo for two hours." I must have looked* incredulous, so ho asked if I could wait to hear about it.

"My annual leave como round, 60 I thought I would go whero I could get a nice quiet rest. I choso ono of our Wonderlands—go to tho Tourist Bureau and you'll bo surprised to Qnd. out how many Wonderlands wo'vo got. It had ba.i<ely dawned the first day after my arrival, when, on, going downstairs, I mot. n. heav l ily-laden photographer man, Who was seeking for peoplo who had had their photos taken wliilo at Lako Tcrrible-Hot-Wnter, or tho Mountain of tho Thousand Mysteries tho previous day. I circuited him and got along to my porridge. 110 was waiting when I returned—l was ospied as now game. Was I. going to tlfe Valley of tho Many Tints; if so, he would see me. I thought to myself that ho wouldn't, so I choso what impressed mo as a quiet scenic ravrve, where I could admiro wondrous Nature unperturbed. It's impossiblo now, however. I was hardly through tho gateway, pondering which path to tako. when 1 caught sight of tho terrifying hooded tripod, right in my way. 'Dodge, a small voicu was whispering, wliou a suave voico sounded at inv elbow—''Good morning.' I always like to be civil, so I returned tho compliment. Would I care to liavo my photo taken? a trim, plump, little man v/fls saying. I particularly hoUmI in tlip-so days ot' tho clean shave his Vandyke beard, and monocle. "'There are many historic spots hereabouts,' ho insinuatingly continued, 'and to havo your picture taken at ono of them makes a doubly-interesting memento. That knoll there is whero a British regiment'was repulsed; oyer there you cot ft most magnificent scenic touch from tuoso terraces; or, if you like the uncanny " 'Ha.' I pretended, 'thcro are my friends tho Joneses,' and I nuulo off, sauntering casual-like through a manukamaze towards the mythical Joneses. A pumiecy hillock lay ahead, and I sliolled to admire it. I was sealing up its sides when tho suave voico wafted:

"'Before, you fall through tho crust into that crater, mv friend, just let mo take a last snap of you, to semi to your friends. That, volcano '

I t "Volcano! 1 lost my grip, and rolled to tho bottom. He brushed my alpaca coat, and rescued my Panama. 110 said ho likeil Panamas—and mine was undoubtedly a good one. 110 was pleased that ho had been so handy to render mo assistance. Peeing that 1 had Iwd.a bit of an accident, ho would do me n dozen photo "If I could find my friends, T murmured, wo would make a group of it. 11c cheered me by replying that. lie. wauld look out for me. I said I would loolc out for him also, and I meant it. '1 hen 1 played hide-and-seek I ill I saw him spitlcrlike enmesh other flies in his web of photographic films. I then fled Iho plnco of Nature's grandeur. "On my return to my hotel, I folded up my alpaca coal, and gave my half-crown Panama to a Maori boy. and tried otherwise to alter mv identity. Such tilings I have learnt by a study of detective narrative comprise tho first moves in eluding pursuit. And I was wise, too—

I baffled my tracker. Into tho placo of refreshment next afternoon I pursued n.y peaceful way. Calmly 1 was thinking of schemes to bonclit tho general munUano lot, when 1 heard that ternblo suavo voice asking for iced soda. Too lato to evado my Vandyke friend, I trusted to tho gloom to savo mo as I ordered a national beverage. "Vandylco addressed me—ho had just come in, ho said, to deliver some photos. Yes, he took photos out at tho Grounds of tho Gay Geysers. Ho found it hard, though, to competo with tho others, as ho was too modest, and had not tlio 'cheek' for custom.

" 'Photography to mc,' 110 said, arid lie adjusted his monocle, and stroked his board, 'is nil art, not a trade, and I'm an artist.' And, relaxing tho eye, ho let tho monocle drop into tho palm of his hand. 'People como to see tlio Gay Geysers. I ncrvo mysolf to ask them if tliey will havo their photos taken. I go up to them to speak, but almost when about to do so I bccomo tongue-tied—spceclilcssr-and they're lost to 1110 before I can utter a sound. Mine's a soul of art, not a soul of trade, and you may as well try to mix oil and water as art and tiade.' He again scrowed tho monoclo to his oje, and sipped his soda. 'Sometimes the people notico my hesitation, and, 60fing my camera, say. "Oh! You tako photos, do* you?" Tliat s about my only chance of getting business—my soul is too artistic for sordid competition.'" v Paterfamilias checked his children. Finishing his littlo homily to them, ho turned to mo. Did I ever hear anything liko it? "To think I nearly fell into a volcano to get out of his way! I just simply had to leavo him. 'Bon jour, mon ami,' he said, as I went, just as ho was beginning to tell mo that ho had studied art in Paroe." 'l'horo ought, he thought, to bo a reservation for itinerant photographers—sort of an island home, as had been suggested for tho English Suffragettes. I said such a doom was very harsh. I dabbled in photography a littlo myself Paterfamilias waited to hear no raoro. He dumped the youngsters ■unceremoniously into the go-cart, and wheeled hurriedly away. And as the shades of night wero falling, I slowly followed him.