ABSENT FRIENDS.

Dominion, Volume 6, Issue 1634, 28 December 1912, Page 9

ABSENT FRIENDS.

That is a good custom by which men and women, met together for any.glad or solemn festivity, when they, have duly toasted. themselves and each other, com.mamorato the absent in one generous and inclusive, cup. It is towards the-close of things that our..thoughts turn to them— at the end of the week at sea, at the end of a feast, at those gatherings, .half convivial, half -pathetic, that mark the close of . the year,: and on all such occasions when our hearts are full; for although life and experience teach us that our friend's do not always "like one .another, aiid that. some of them," equally dear to us," are. better apart, yet there is in every generous soul a purely human instinct to bring everyone' and everything he cares for .together within the cirole of hisloye. And so we lift our glasses, and with a mingling of pleasant and sad-thoughts, memories and' regrets, murmur "Absent Friends." -;

There are so many of them; and lie has either 'very few. friends, or is singularly. fortunate in the presence of many, for whom the, absent, are not-in tho' majority. And there are many kinds of,'absent friends.■'. There• are those.who are always absent when they are most needed, to whom one . does not' think of turning in the tight places,' who are present: like all other agreeable. superfluities, only, when the road is smooth .and"-the sun is shining; and who are destined to be absent, not :6nly from you and' me, but from everyone, all through life, who might really have need of their friendship. They are the people- who "never mix themselves up" with' anything difficult, who "never . take.' sides; who "never interfere" —in a word who avoid all. centres of trouble, aiid so miss the. only 1 places in life, where treasures and sweet things, may certainly be found. Poor friends, absent from life_ itself. , , And there are others who if they, are absent are never friends, or.if_tliey are friends are seldom absent. They are the shallow : souls to whom only ■ what is actuallv present is real,.. whose .friends are always their next-door -neighbours in' : life, .who are. intimate with their nartiiers 'at dinner, and .bosom friends of"'a season .in ■ .town. -.What » ■ beyond their'sight-or touch is beyond their feeling. They are the I meant it .when I.'said it" .brigade,, who. may 'mean the direct ' opposite a week, afterwards.' They are often' lovable, amusing, and''agreeable; they do no. good at.all, nn'ri verv little harm; we will remember them in our" toast, although they assuredly will' not, remember . us. , ■How. little'we miss them compared .with those truly and terribly absent ones whom life; and not death- or time, has sundered from us; with, whom- we once walked: ' as ; familiar, souls,, sharing life and breath/ and 'With. whom we shall never walk-.more. Yet even from. _these, althoii'h gulfs impassable divide , us, 'we are often less far off than-we think; their very, absence takes the sting from their and our : offences; the, sad fa.de from memory, where the . joys remain ever green. When, the laughter is- going round; and we seem most absorbed, in ,the moment, ..the. absent, are,, often most .near, to us, seen and communed, with in those detached and . radiant chambers of the miiid where,!as'iii .a shrine,; we keep what we love best... But tlie contrast between-' the radiance • within . and, . perhaps, the gloom •' without, • is. painful and disturbing; it is thus 'that deep natures, are often most-lonely in a crowd, because they are neither .part of it nor wholly detached from it, but stand midway 'between the' absent and the-pre-sent,; at home with, neither, but distracted by both. For : absent friends cannot always be invoked, even, in the spirit. Sometimes our affections fly like'birds from-one to'another,, and find nowhere .to alight one to another, and find nowhere 'Wring some;^assuring:,'plire...leaf : ; pd: "febfnetimes and happily - ''they'find -lodging and refreshment in the wilderness, : and come'back-to us'..normore.-" .'■ "-' '■

■ And there is that' other' company. of the' 'abseiit—those wlio/ in •• the',' fSjn.iliar ' yet mysterious figurative expression, ' have passed beyond the veil. that divides' us ■from those.who. Jiye.-.no longer.in time an(l.'space—that.'veil.'which seems sometimes'to liave the substance of steel, 'and sometimes, of mere gossamer that a breath :or a prayer can agitato, a'ndwhich nevertheless is more impenetrable than a thousand stone walls. It is one of the faults of a:certain kind of religion' that, indwelling on the.realities of another world and another life, it has for many people magnified and. made more terrible the physical fact of. death'. In such a conception, while' there 'is. a possibility .'6'H ultimate .reunion, there, is the'eer-: tainty of complete/separation' in the pre-: /sent.'/., Need it:-really ;/ bo, so,.complete?; ,Heath- may be, in- .the./ Arabian/ phrase,; Itfte Destroyer: of .Pelights .-'and': Sunderer !<at; Companies, but' it certainly.,is. not ■necessarily the' divider', of, fr.iends.v The'tact of death may be strangely small, as ,you can' 'realise for yourself; You- have •a..friend in the. Antipodes; lie dies; and /.three'weeks later you set the.news; and begin to soh-ow. But for three- weeks he has been de>ad, and; just because, no one told ySu, you felt no loss or, grief; you still of him. and loved him and possessed. him in.your heart.' The day and- hour..of- his.death- made no impression on -you. Only'when the post came you suddenly felt-that you had lost him. And' if .there, lind been no post, and no one. had ever'told,you, you might have gone;on.for the rest .of your, life.in the secure possession: of him. Absent in the body- he : would, always have been, but that was true from the' moment he sailed, and .death added 'nothing to it. Tho '-idea of diiin, which is all wo ever possess of thoseV who are. physically absent, was yours equally, before and after the little moment of death: ' .

And are not.oiir friends who'are absent in this our own?. Death stops the development of friendship, but it also stons its'decay. It does not end, it..fixes friendship- What your relationship was on the day your friend left' you, it remains as long .as vou live, unalterable, by any human frailty or failure,, and beyoiid the reach of any. evil chance: You have,seen tho.life divide'frierid .from friend, and the lover from the beloved, but never death; life, is stronger than love, .and may destroy it, but. love is stronger than death. No one who really love.s life con entirely hate death, which is-a, part of. it; and. thus even when' it is most terrible we may 'che°v 'oun-elves by thinking of it not as, the thief but as the guardian of our. treasures. .■ -. ■ ...One.very obvious lesson we might learn from our friends, yet we never do mute learn it—and'that is to remember those who are still-present. It is absurdly . simple, yet the whole rcot of the matter lies there.. We have only a little time which to love and value them; and if we could but use every moment, save and fulfil. the. flvinsr' opnortunities, be always and- entirely 'kind,, then at the; toast of "Absent Friends" wei might drain our glasses, and find thero no drop or taste of bitterness. . F.TLSQN YOUNG.