HASHIMURA TOGO.

Dominion, Volume 6, Issue 1557, 28 September 1912, Page 11

HASHIMURA TOGO.

JAPANESE BOY-OF-ALL-WORK, (By Wallace Irwin.) ' •To Editor "Good Housekeeper Magazine," who realise how: collapsed home life . looks when being cleaned. Bear Mr:—Some folks is so clean they cause considerable tidiness everywheres they go. Such was, Hon. Mrs. August Jloon of Salem, Miss, who is another of my gono by. This lady got a liouso containing mahogany chairs which was brought oyer by Hon. Pilgrim Fathers when they was running ferryboat Cauliflower between Salem and Grand Rapids, Mich. She revere .'her furniture and all her, other ancestors. Each day she require mo to stroke her mahogany lovingly with furniture polish. •This Hon. Lady are very superstitious about dirt. Sho. thiuk it are not clean to have arouud. Sho imagine dust, soot'& mildew enter her house like a burgler and Togo must be a policeman to arrest it when it gets inside. . "Togo," she say, while X am enslaving myself amidst dishwater in kitchen, "I just heard a mouse making footprints in attic. Eosh up with mop, please, and remove his muddy tracks. I do so. _• "Togo," ; she requosh nextly, "six autumn leaves has fell on the walk befront of the house. Gather them in your apron and burn th'om thoroughly in kitchen 6tove, taking caro that no ashes escape." I do so. . , .. "Togo," she hypothecate, "I can observe two. fly-tracks running over portrait of my ancestor, Gov. Beelzebub Biggs. Kindly to .wash his faco carefully' with cast-steel soap and don't offend his dignitary." . ' This also I accomplish compressing the insurgent feeling that arise continuously in my elbows. • , "The early bird obtains worms," she say cheerjy when I arise at 4.32 a.m. for Bcrubb'with sudds. -"At such , time as this I prefer sleep to worms," are smart reply 1 make. ' "To-day we shall commence house-clcan-ing,": she report last Fryday a.m. 'Commence it!" I, communicate crossly like Napoleon.- "When did we ever discontinue to liouseclean?" "Ah; ho!", slw laugh, at. "What you has .been doing is merely lick-and-promise. Housecleaning are different.'! To house-

rags, rugs, brooms, portraits,- paints, and other cleanly dirt. , "Why you set there so worklessly?" she require, seeing me with eagle expression. "I have moved so much that I am now movoless," I reply with great pathos. ■ She mako her eyes look kind and charity. "Maybo you tired! she collapse with considerable gentleness. "Ah, no, Sirs. Madam," I contuse chivalrously. "I not tired—l merely exhausted." "Servants should be cherished as well as masters,", sho say. scientifically. "I acknowledge my carelessness. In enthusiasm of housecleaning I forgot you was as apt to get fatigued as any other horse. I. permit you to feel weary, because ycu aro Japanese and not strong like a Irish labour, I forgive this fault in you." "0 thank you so many for that gentle heart!" I report back, enjoying slight teardrop from gratitude. "No, Togo, you may rest," she say. "But while you aro resting, would you please go out to back yard and beat a few Brussels carpots?" Excuse me, Mr. Editor, for acting so' unobliged to a lady. But I could , not do furthermore. My arms walk out on strike when I attempt to make them work. So I go to kitchen and arrive back w'th satchel-grip and derby hat. "Swecthearted Mrs. Madam," I report, "I realise how my mind is too lightweight for your serious employment. Therefore I quit. How much you estimate I owe you for damage, breakage, & crackage I done to-day?" "1230.50 dollars would cover everything,"she suppose. "At m'.v. present wage-pay of 5 dollars per weekly," I snuggest, "I should bo very elderly Japaneso before last installment was pay off. Therefore I shall not encumber you by waiting so long." "But what shall I do about that bill?" she require nervely. "Ah, Mrs Madam, you are honest lady," I bounce back- "I am sure I can trust you to keep that bilj more better than anybody else." "You done my household considerable injury," she sum up. "I aro willing - to forgive that also," I repartee. "Therefore, if you will present me with SOc out of what I owe you, I shall retreat by trolley and leave your home safe from me." She contribute 25c.from purse, because she say she can't get no more change until

Who will make her first appearance in Wellington with Mr. .Oscar Asche and company in "Kismet" at the Opera House on Monday,' October 1.

her husband get back. That gentleman are in Arabia collecting rugs, so I decide it was too long to wait for 25c. When nextly seen I, was standing on depot-station in New England R.R. asking Hon. Ticket Merchant if he would sell me fare to some city where folks never clean house except when scolded by Brd of Health. ; ' Hoping you are the same ' , Tours truly, . V i Hashimura Togo.

clean you must pull down everything that h is up and pull up everything that is down, a Home must fco carried, out into the back c yard and thoroughly swep. All dust in liouse must be shoved out onto carpets d which are on clothesl'ne; then all carpets 'I oh clothesline must lie brutably punished f with clubs uiitil dust, fly back into house, 'h And so on until exhausted." ■ I I could not disobey such, wise demand. So I remove off coat and commence eloping up and down' stair, each time carrying Borne ; variety' .of pianos and mahogany dresser. My suspenders bulged with gigantic strength while Hon. Mrs. Moon stood near and explainod how I was more weak than Irish labour. . i' ' That houso were completely filled with break-a-brack,and" other dishes which had been shot full of-holes by mean British ? in' Battle of-Revolution ■ which occurred i in 1492. There was many plates and cups, F beautiful but very lame. I drop several . of these in '.removal, and . they look more broke .than .usual. Several of tliem fell down stairs ahead of ,me and arrived with considerable crashes.. ,-' - "I estimate my loss at 580 dollaTs which must be removed from your wages," Mrs. Moon say-so while she sto.od mourning over those fractured relicks. I reply by saying, nothing. . I rip up carpets with strength peculiar to a giant full of steam. I throw, him to clothesline, and trott backwards for more. I bathe Mrs. Moon's painted ancestors with soap-wash, till they look nearly handsome. I polish floors, doors, silver & handles with continuous rapidity. I wash iron , kettles with sudds and clean 14 pairs gloves with gasoline.. ' ' Then another breakage occur,. which were too bad. I'was smoothing one snob- t bish-looking, china; closet with rags, when f I exideatally broke him end-wise by dropping out of window. Mrs. Moon could not help, from noticing. , "482 dollars extra subslracted from your - wages," she holla' arithmatically. 'No. intelligent reply, from Hon., Mrs. Moon, spend morning in attic opening reverend trunks and fetching forth quills, and skirts,-,belonging .to pilgrims. These I also pin to clothes line. Nextly, I brosh wall , paper, with Whisk, . and climb to roof ,whero I. save a white cat which had crolled up drain-pipe to suicide himself. ,1 receive no extra pay for. this kindness. While doing thusly. I burst .27 dollars worth of window's-and bill was sent to me by Mrs. Moon, who holla how much it was. I carry G tons complete books from collar to library on 3rd floor. When I find they. no belong there I. took them back again. I also transmit considerable bags containing coal from woodshed to basement, where it look more comfortable. Very sorry event occurred when I Was washing 48 eggs shell china cups. Shelf of table-upturned and all splatter to floor. Mrs. Moon screech,.and charge it to my account. ( After, that I. paint back porch, carry i sideboards, oroll over all ceilings of rooms < to . fish . .away cobwebs with broom njid t stuff upholstery; into ■ all lounges what i need it. : .< Mrs. Moon were a . very thoughtful Voman. She always thought, of some- £ thing moro for me to do with arms and legs.' When -I was on top-ladder dusting chandeliers she suddenly , remember her mother's fire-screen she had not seen mnce Agnes was. married. "Go down cellar and ojien U boxes containing trash and see if mother's firescreen ain't there." Ido so. It were not.. "Nail them up again quickly," she comment. "Then go-to roof and sweep out chimbley." . I elevated myself to loftly .position and gtood-poking from chunbley. Just then she holla, ; "Conio down Ist floor, please, Md ade ino in removing tables upstnirs." I do so wishing I was a bird and could fly up and down with less feetsreps. By that timo Hon. Sun wero setting and ■I feel like doing the same. ' So I choop soft chair in back vard and sootho myself iy flopping-to jt. there I reposed amidst