HAD A HORSE.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1522, 19 August 1912, Page 8

HAD A HORSE.

YCLEPT BUNKUM. A MEMORY OF THE PAST. [Br Wi.] "Hod a Uorso! "A Finer no Man ever Saw." —Hungarian Song. In the days of my youth I dabbled a little in horseflesh. I began with a fourlegged fiend incarnate yclept Bunkum a hog-mancd, bob-tuiled, nuggety brute, whose suspicion of mankind, as I frequently proved to my pain and discomfiture, was chronic and deep seated. His previous owner was a Presbyterian minister, whom he had done his best to kill. I bought him for J£3, and subsequently tested the soundness of the phrase which teaches that that which is cheap is also nasty. Bunkum was distinctly nasty, and tho worst feature of his Hastiness was its unexpectedness. When Bunkum lhado up his mind to dissolve tho precarious partnership which for the moment existed between him and his rider, ho dissolved it. With him, to think was to act, and to act was to score—off the rideri

I'lic reverend gentleman, who sold him to me—and who is one of my Ixist friends —was perfectly frank about tho animal. 1- "Ho is a.fiend incarnate," lie said. How--0 ever, I bought Bunkum, for he was cheap, and I was poor, and after spending tlio best pari: of a hot summer's afternoon in catching him, for I insisted that I should begin by bearding the lion in his den, so to speak, I led him down to the blacksmith's shop to get a "slipper" on. ])ur- „ i«g our brief visit to the smithy, Bunkum n made himself unpopular by placing one cf his feet on the foot of the blacksmith's assistant, and keeping it there during an interval which exhausted the man's available profanity and reduced him almost to 1 tears. When I reached homo I bobbed 0 Bunkum's tail, hogged his mane, trimmed 3 his fetlocks, and did my best to smarten him up a, bit, for his was a most depressing deportment. Ho had a habit of drooping his head in a way that frequently excited sympathy in the minds of those who knew ihini not. They thought that he was ill-treated, starved—it cost a • small fortune to keep Bunkum in the pink of condition—and kicked about'from pillar, to post. As befitted my now dignity, > I bought spurs and leggings. When I showed tho spurs to my t parson friend he was horrified. "Don't," he implored. "Don't use these on Bunkum, if you valno your life." With the obstinacy of youth, I determined that t spurs ijiust 1m worn—that in my business 2 relation,? with Bunkum spurs and legj gings, and a switch were to be do rigour. 1 3ly first official journey on Bunkum -covJ ered a distance of about five yards, and the chief incidents of tho ride included an earthquake, a sudden descent from j Bunkum's bony heights, millions of sta"rs, and tho jeers of somo small boys. When I rose to my feet Bunkum had disappeared. As I did not seo him again for 1 two days, my engagements had to bo re-' 2 arranged to suit the circumstances. At i tho end of two days' (Searching I found . Bunkum in the far corner of a steep gully, with tho bridle tangled about his neck, tho saddle still on his back,- and covered with mud. It was a wet, coldafternoon, and in a brief appreciation of the situation, as they say in military parlance, I perceived that tho villain had tlip advantage of position. I had to approach him uphill, which I did with somo reluctance, breathing soft endearments to L - the suspicious Bunkum. "Way, boy, ' way," I cooed, as I approached him, and ' placed my hand gently on his'side. It would have been all right had I not slipped and stumbled forward on a spongy 1 piece of turf, and unintentionally crubrac- ' ed Bunkum's hind legs, a proceeding 1 which tho most amiable of horses would [ certainly have resented. Bunkum prompt- ' ly did, for he pi&hied nre violently in ■. the stomach with one- of his legs—l was ; too close to bo kicked, luckily—and I ' rolled down tho hill—a pitiful sight for i men and horses. ,To make a long story short, I finally caught him, and by tho • aid of patience and diplomacy, establish- . Ed a kind of piece between us which , more resembled a condition of armed neu- , trality than amicable toleration. i With occasional misunderstandings— , which invariably involved discomfiture and public humiliation for me—Bunkum and ' I hit it oif fairly well for a couplo of | years. But I was never sure of him. A piece of paper- on the road, a sudden movement of my riding-switch—nothing at all, sometimes—sufficed to start liim elf in a bucking-fit which never had but one ending. Tlio last winter I had him he had an attack of lnmpas, and was cross and irritable for weeks. Ho looked ill, and I felt sorry for him, but after a series of narrow escapes from being cut off from the land of the living, I decided to sell him inj tho spring, whou ho had got his n«w coat' on, and looked more liko £o than £3. ■ Tlio last 1 incident of Bunkum's association with me was an inspiring affair—ho cleaned out a sale yard,. For some weeks before tho date upon which I had decided to offer Bunkum to the public, per medium, of the auctioneer, as a docile, patient animal, sound in wind and'limb— I could guarantee tiia limb—he had lived on tho l'at of tho land. His coat was shining like a new dollar, he looked alert and spry, and en route from the Hut't—tho neighbourhood c-f his achievements, and ruy discomfitures—l rods him into the sea to bathe his legs and tone up his appearance. Altogether, Bunkum looked better that day than ever lie did before, or since—ho spent tho autumn of his years between the shafts of a milk-cart-T-and when wo arrived at. the saleyard I could almcst feel' the five sovereigns, which I had fixed as the reserve Erice, jingling in iny pocket. Alas for umari hopes! Bunkum started well. Tho auctioneer's man led him up and dov;n the lane between the buyers, while tho a.ucilionoer himself recited the "facts" which I had given him concerning Bunkum's past, his age, and his virtues, adding a bit more off his own bat. Behind the'buyers were two tows of loose boxes. As Bunkum walked slowly up and down, the bidding ran up to .£3 55., and tlieh stopped. "Come on now, gentlemen," said tho auctioneer, in a pained voice. "What are you thinking of?" And he lapped 'his hammer encouragingly. By way of stimulating tho bids the ostler threw the halter over Bunkum's neck, swung himself on to his bare back before the surprised and scandalised Bunkum had realised the full extent of this unprecedented liberty, and dug tho single spur which ho wore, into his side. I was appalled, and grew 6ick with apprehension. "Geddapl" commanded the ostler. "That's right, Bill," said one of tho bystanders. "Show 'cm J is paces. Mike a foine loidy's 'ack, ho would," added the speaker, in a confidential voice, to the man next to him. Further comment was interrupted—and entirely suspended—by an unheaval in the middle of the yard. Bunkum was putting up the performance of his life, and inside of about 10 seconds had shot the ostler into a heap of dirty straw, and clattered np to the other end of the yard, snorting angrily, and lashing out viciously at anything bearing even the remotest resemblance to a num. It was a much chastened ostler that finally captured Bunkum and led him back to the middle of the yard, while the general public, which had dived . incontinently into the loose boxes to escape the gleaming heels of the recalcitrant, emerged cautiously, and made a tentative circle nbout the centre. Tho auctioneer looked at mo and raised one eye-brow. I nodded.. "Gciivg at ,-£3 55.?" No resnonse. "Going? Last time? Done—lie's yours." said the autocrat of the hammer, indicating a member of the crowd. At this tragic moment, a man from the Jlut.t strolled into (he yard, and looked at Bunkum. "Strike!" h? exclaimed. " Vres the oawron's 'n—' C "M 'n>- . The auctioneer nodded, grimly, in the direction of the buy or. "You can 'ave 'im," said the man from 1 the Ilutt with a grin. As I left the yard, f looked round at : Bunkum. He was standing with his head wigging disconsolately, looking 1 tired of life. Appearances aro'deceptive. Bunkum never tired.