HIBERNIAN WIT.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1520, 16 August 1912, Page 8

HIBERNIAN WIT.

5 . HIGH COMMISSIONER AS A STORYTELLER, , The Hon. Thomas Mackenzie, the new High Commissioner, told a couple of stories on Wednesday that appearedi to 1m new to the members of the New Zealand Club, at all events. On. ono occasion ho was visiting Lako Te Anau, having for his companion an Irish policeman. They had got well down the lake, and such was the weather that they could not'get. back, so they had to camp out, and wait for a change of wind, as they cculd never do anything against it in "The Basket," as they called their boat. In the morning he was awakened by the Irishman shouting—"Git up! It's ,'a foine marnin', and there's a shtiff 'breeze blowiu' up the lake!" They soon launched "The Basket," and Mr. Mackenzie sailed tho boat whilst the Irishman baled. The baling was very hard work, ■and Pat, as ho wiped the perspiration off his nose, said: , "How dape wud the lake be?" Mr. Mackenzie said: "About 1200 ft. or 1400 ft!" '1 thought it was n. great wan," said Pat, "the water of two ordinary lakes hev already passed.through this boa.t!" The same constable had another experience which Mr. Mackenzie relates under the title of "How To Resuscitate a Scotchman." Tho constable was relating how very unpleasant his duties wero at times, and he referred to having pulled a dead Scotchman out of the river on one occasion. At the inquest tho coroner said to Pat, "Did you make any attempt to resuscitate him?" Pat, admitting that ho didn't know tho meaning of the word resuscitate to Mr. Mackenzie, said that ho wasn't going to expose his ignorance to the coroner, and so replied, "Indado I did, sor—l felt his pockets!"