THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1497, 20 July 1912, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW-

[Bt M.C.K.]

In a. paragraph in. bis animal report, General Godley concludes a reference to aviation ivith. this remark: "Wβ must •Ikltu. to walk before we attempt to fly." Let us be patient: General Geilleyjivill in time discover that the essential preliminary is, not'learning;'-low to walk, but learning how to land safely at <i speed of 75,000 feot a.second. "

A local, Opposition newspaper concludes an editorial with, a paragraph opening with this arresting sentence-. Uxorious critics who condemn all oolitical effort because tho millennium fails to arrive next morning can never be induced to allow -foe tlw UmtaUons \mooseil by environment and opportunity, and will therefore argue that since wo stiH nave ' difficulties to surmount, avc still stTUKphnc and ■ groping after means for seltiemoni of vital problems, there is nothing lor the Liberal. Baity to be iroud oS. Personally, this column is extremely jrond indeed to know tha-t it is tho married men "who are at Hie root o£ it-all, and not, as Mrs. Malaprop has always ineisted, the. centenarian crickets.

Mr; Leo. Myer3, of Auckland, is Teported as., saying that "he had come to tho conclusion that there- iras ,mdro in commerce.: than the. piling-, up of "sovereigns." As one' of those who attend to providing the. 'sovereigns for: the others to pile up,. •we, are. .grateful that .somebody, has at : Jast. reepg-nised pur existence.. If encourages, 0ne..,'.-;' ..■";• i :

From" the report of the Education Commission: "Dr. Pickerill said that tho Motto in copore sano' might very well.be reduced to'dens sana, mens sana'—sound teeth,- sound mind, for the 'health of .-"teeth, was-.; .necessary to the health"'of/the child."- Sound teeth, as 'one-might put it, are more than Latin grammar,!:. ■

"Wily,-these Eoyal.Commissions, my old?" • a'sTced.'-'■"'.the intelligent r. foreigner. "Tfiey'i'.inlt-.oonfnsel. i'..".Me, I. desire earnknow'what, is up, but V.one says always a'thing entirely new. I meet the race conference, and demand, 'This unrest, ■ what ': cause it? , and the Conference say: it is '.the. permit law and'.the. sprint races. ..ButtheSocialistine declare that the pacing ..horse'is but astrifte. "• His -.. worry js Sir! Godley. Remove the gun, render' obsoleto-the cartridge, .he say, and one achieve; Heaven;" ..'But, dear mister,' I say, 'who.will abolish the enemy ?. Will . he,.then,'-abolish;himself 'V , He regard '_ me'fiercely, and I Temember my appointment with the ■ evening journal. "Deaf mister,*., I address the journal, 'what is thfr root trouble,' and he assure me it is the'want of. trees. ( 'Plant trees before .one breakfasts,'-he declare, 'plant a tree in aiiy spare five minutes; contimie to piaffiEj-^'and''the social! unrest evanishes l itselfl''/'. : He';'did, I you assure, my old. Wβ. are', ffien interrupted by Sir Stout. 'Milor Stont/ I say, .'what do you say;it is?' , . 'He produce one Team-of statistics to "prove it is partly religious lessons, partly smoking, and partly, meat diets that cause the upheaval frightening. A clergyman assure me it is the boxing fight, but ' tho ; grocer' explain that it is the butter Ting'.'and-Tiot'the boxing Ting, not of all. Who'to believe? One gives me. thousands of reasons.. Is it the three-fifths handicap., tliii.trpromote;discontent and disorder, and keep us awake at'nights, l or is it the careless drivers of rnotor-ears? Is it the submergence of Sir Bart or the lessons too'difficult that one teaches to the young girl?: By blue, my boy, I astonish myself that I continue to exist. I feel that I resemble me to the British Empire, staggering under a load terrible. I ...-hear, all tlie 'other, explanations—the lack v of posted fish, the big landowner, the unaltered water, the. weather, the tramcars that'do not run with accuracy, the thousand things—and.l, raise my 1 hat to myself. 'Hippolyte,'. I tell me, 'I saluto thee. Thou art true hero, my old! , How • dost" thou endure all 'these''miseries'? ' Astonishing!' And I replace my hat, and I remember there is still the cocktail, after.all. To the cocktail, march, my old:" -.;.-■■.

"There are 80,000 sinners in Auckland,not 70,000 "as I said the other day," declared the Rev. A. A;'. Murray, of St. : 'Andrew's..'Presbyterian Church; "Board.inghouses are a snare and a peril, a living volcano which is slowly burning the foundations of our national life."—News Item. . ' ■ , Seventy thousand sinners, did I say? I wag ray mistake; the BaDer vp*t*>Tdnv Said^ Auckland boasted Sty SS[ So, friends, for SO.COO we must pray. Why^are. they sinners? In the DoardincOn halfaold Chops ana "simply boup" they Antt fill the huiurry intervals with sin ■ Souse SOUIS ' and BOrro "? ™ Some through the lumpy porridge take ■ to sin. ' Some to the strange, metallic, oiled earnuic ' Indigenous to -boardinphoueo repasts' borne to the schuapper (boiled) composed of. skin. ■Abjuring, high pursuits,, they seize the chance To mitigate the nangg ot Circumstance By on tiieir evening clothes at For lo! there's decent supper at a dance. The deadly sameness of the Bill-of-Fnre Drives even hardened Boarder* to despairSo, thirsty for a change/they talto their cash To Trentham ,in the rain,'and leave it there. Royal Commissions wander to and fro Aiirt fatten 'un at toon . Hotels, but 10l Were th-y but driven to tho Boardinehouse : ' ' > ; They'd lijiow, about it all-they'd know— fheyd know. From "Who's Where." a new work that', ought to be compiled for political students..'ami cast into the form of that admirable volume, ' "The Child's Guide" ;—-■■• .■■■• Q. Where is "Sir Joseph Ward?—A. Ho wishes he knew. Q. Where i.« Sir .Tosiah Hanan?— r A. Weeping, in the rain in Invercargill. Q. Where is Sir.G. W. Russell?-A. In hiding) Q. Where is. Sir Te Rangihiroa?-A. Attending an unrecorded tangi.Q. Where is Sir G. Laurenson?—A; In the dnll and dreary dumps. Q. Where is Sir T. MackenzieJ-A. A.-k of tho fence that far around with Mackenzie 3 strews tho rival paddocks. .Q. Where is Sir J. G. Findlay?—A. Enshrined in the memory of his rativo land Parnell. Q. Where is Sir E. Tregea-r?—A. Amongst the sheep, looking for a threetooth wether. Q. Where is Sir H. G. EIIP-A. At Lyall Bny, calculating the postage on the whale. Q. Where is poor old Bill Massey?— A. Oh, just around. "No, Jawn, mo frind Fisher - ain't th' pathrito ye think," said Mr. Dooley.. "What if ho did say that pop'lar'ty nin'fc th' one aim iy a Ministhry?" "Well, ain't- that brave?" asked Mr. nemicssy. ■;'.'.■'. "Why don't ; ye study ppllytics, Jnwn? Pop'lar'ty ain't all ifs cracked up f bo. Mp frind -Ell knbw3. Did th' pop'lar custom iv postin' fish that ho invented keep'him in. long enough C get used f a silk hat? Did th' intensely pop'lnr language it' Lorn'son lead t' anny outburst iv. Dublio grief whin he. hit £h'

pavement? No, Jawn. Me frind Joe an' his crowd wus , . too pop'lnr. They handed out too manny sweets, and' whin it got indigestion th' public, instead iv blnmin' itself, gave III 1 boot' t' tli' iiatlu-iti's who liiul pampered thim. Where is th' pop'lar pnrty now, Jawn? What's th' good iv bein' th'. father and mother iv th' people whin it ends in th' family l'ushin' f'r th' axe- t' end th' reigii iv benevolence? Th' fato iv Tom an' .Too an' Lorn'.-on is a standin' warrnin'' t' Hi' pollyticmn t' court th' howls iv th' nation rather than its applause. I can mulherstan' poor 3-111. 'What,' he says, 'd'ye meant'say thaty'are goin' t' risk offondin' somewan? Y'aro mad,' lie says. 'Y'aro not a Giiv'mint at all. Annywan wild think yo wuz in pollyt'ics,' he says, 'f'r th' health iv th' coimthry. Why,' ho says, 'I believe y'aro only a-'rumour. I can't believe anny llinisther wild deliberately risk worrkin' himself out iv a job,' ho says. Te'll got th' nation,/ ho says,-'into tlv , bad htibit iv not wuiOia' on th' Mimstlwv's doovstep/ says he. But 'h's better (hat way than t' be on th' pavement jersilf, Jawn. A'o, Fisher knows that pop'iar'ty is not really pop'lnr'ty at all, an' whin ho hears Ell sayin'- he will bo mipop'lar, lie- decides that EH is an object lesson- in pop'lar'ty, and ho don't want f bo another."