OFF NIGHT COMEDIES.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1469, 18 June 1912, Page 6

OFF NIGHT COMEDIES.

THE CRYSTAL GAZERS.

AND-MY -AUNT SOrniA,

[By Wi.] On a previous occasion t have referred ,to. my maiden aunt Sophia us a lady of exacting conscience, with an abhorrence of frivolity of any kind. .Now, my experience of these seriously minded peopl»,

and mere especially tho<-e of Aunt Sophia's .sex, is that they ean be perMiadcd to indulge in the most ridiculous fads if it he pointed out to them that certain learned individuals have recorded their serious belief that there may he sume.tiling in these fads. Some time ago I happened to mention to her that I had derived considerable entertainment from an interview which 1 had had with a clairvoyant. Being Aunt Sophia, she snill'ed. Being a woman, she was curious. ".Ridiculous nonsense, of course," she observed. "Of course," said I. "As if anyone could possibly believe what, these people say!" 'I'grinned. "Even if they told the truth ?" | "Tuts!" .""Your friend, Mr. Andrew Lang, once gavo the subject of crystal gazing "his very serious attention," said I, falling back upon my. defences. ''Nonsense!" exclaimed my aunt. "It was,'' I. agreed, heartily. Andrew Lang has. been fortunate enough to have been "approved" by Aunt Sophia. "I decline to believe it, Charles," said she; "I'merely mentioned the fact, my dear aunt," I, said.'."The. proof is in one of those .magazines over there," I added, indicating the book-shelves. "Then it couldn't have been nonsense, Charles," said Aunt Sophia, with derision. ".It was a lot of silly rot from —— '' "My.".dear Charles;" interrupted my mint in the voice of one possessed with the spirit of religious intolerance. "Andrew Lang was not in the habit of writins 'silly rot.' as you call it."

"Well," said I, "he took a day off on this particular occasion; and went the limit." ■ My aunt frowned. "I mustn't Dretcnd to understand you," she said. "Well," I explained, "he went into all 'sorts of theories about it. Mentioned the habits of certain barbarian seers who .sought inspiration in the crystal depths of gloomy pools. Said that wc could do •the same thing provided we could get into tho proper frame of mind. We mustn't think, he said." "Mustn't think!" exclaimed Aunt. Sophia. "I should find that impossible." "So I should imagine, my dear Aunt." My Aunt regarded mo with suspicion, I lit a-cigarette, and continued. "You see, Aunt, one's mind must be "absolutely susceptible blank, a.s it wore, for'tbp.a'cconimodatibn of the impressions or ideas which aro.supposed;to float about in tho ■crystal;depths'.".:. -;■* •;■ "H'm," commented my audience. ■ "If one ;caimot,'cohvcaiiently retire to a gloomy.: ;pool. such.'as the barbarian seers I have mentioned were in the habit of frequenting, an ink-well, or a glass sphere, or a tumbler -of water -will: answer tho purpose. ■ So Andrew says—ho tried it." "How very peculiar!""observed Aunt Sophia. "Wero there,any results?" . "Cart-loads,'" 1 replied, "I'rav bo serious, Charles." "Well—he saw things," I said. "Not, tho blue snakes and green spiders and such liko that' certain individuals see in certain circumstances." '■ "Lino snakesand green spiders!" I nodded. "When they've got '■em," I explained. My Aunt raised a protesting hand. "You needn't pursue that, subject. You mean, I suppose, that (he crystal-gazer doesn't really sco things?" "I really don't know, Aunt,"-. I . said. "You'll have to lake. Andrew's word for it, you know. Never tried it myself." Aunt Sophia suffered a brief struggle with her principles. , Curiosity prevailed, and she glanced .about the room. . .; "Have you " she began, and paused. ;"Xo, ray dear Aunt," said. I, Vrith a 'grin, "I haven't."' •; ; "Would ink do?" inquired my Aunt, advancing boldly out into the open. "I'll tell," eaid I. with a chuckle.

"Don't be ridiculous, Charles,"' . said she, with impatience. My Aunt's •curiosity was rapidly getting the better of her. "I want to try an experiment." -'I smiled. "I shall hold Andrew responsible for whatever happens, you know," said I.

"Don't waste time," said she. "Get something." " ,'-.-,'. After a brief search I discovered a caraffe of spherical design, which I filled with water, and handed to Aunt Sophia. "There you are, Aunt," said I. "Gaze, and bo inspired." "Can't you get something to gaze at, too," suggested my Aunt, holding the earaffo very much as if sho would have hold a bomb.

"Thanks—l'd rather not," said I, looking nbout, for my matches. "Why not?"

"Well—you've got the only earaffo in tlio limine, for one thing." ' "Try tho ink-pot," persisted Aunt Sophia, apparently determined to entangle mo in the business. "It'would bo rather .interesting." I surrendered, and took up a glass inkstand from niy. table. "Andrew points out that tho crystal, or the crystal medium, must 1« held so that no light, or reflected light, falls upon it 'I'hen you must detach your mind from tho things of tho world,, as it were—a susceptiblo blank, so/to'speak. What's the matter?" Aunt Sophia was huddled up in her chair, her form bent over tho caraffe. "Try as I will, Charles," said she, B "I cr-nnot entirely exclude reflections from the light." " „ . , This difficulty. I presently observed, attached itself to my ink-pot. Finally, wc succeeded. Aunt Sophia, with a cloak draped over her head and about her shoulders, sat in my armchair, while ] discovered a convenient isolation from direct light under the table, and cursed the idle remark which had involved me in this indignity. ■ I had been sitting-squatting, I should say—for about ten minutes in this uncomfortable position, endeavouring to gazo with the vision of the seer at the ink in the bottle, and was at last beginning to fancy that my sub-conscious self was.manifesting symptoms of activity, when f heard a muffled exclamation from the upper world. I poked my head out. "Seen something. Aunt?" "Yes—Ugh! There it is again. Gracious! Charles!" My Aunt tore tho cloak from her head, rose hurriedly, and pluniMjd the caraffe on the table so violently 'that some of the contents jibbled over the cover. "What on earth " I began, scrambling out, and in my hurry bringing my head into violent collision with the edge of the table. My Aunt pointed an agitated forefinger at the caraffe. "Charles— X—l—saw a horrid sp—spider—Ugh'! "Nonsense, Aunt," I said. "You merely imagined—" I stopped. My speech was arrested by a movement in tho interior of the caraffe. •' . "It. is not nonsense, Charles, exclaimed my Aunt. "I saw the Thing with my own eves. A horrid sprowly thing, with legs everywhere—Tgh!" My Aunt shivered at the recollection of it. ; Meanwhile, 1 was examining the caralfc. At the bottom, engaged in a frantic struggle for existence, was a small spider which had probably dropped from the eciliii" into tlio caraffe. I had not noticed'"it before. I blew my nose, and looked out ot the window. "It may have been a sjiider, Aunt," I said, over my shoulder. . "It. Wis a spider, "aid Aunt Sophia. "Very well, Aunt," said I, "it was u spider." ~ „. , My Aunt advanced to the caratle. A chill crept up my spine.. "It's all right, Aunt," I said. "Ypii have convinced me —quite." , ~,. , , Aunt Sophia made no reply. She bent over tie caraffe, started slightly. looked again, and then turned to me. "Charles, she began/irJ the voice of a Lord High Executioner. "Did you put that spider there?" - '■~.' "My dear Aunt, I . "Don't prevaricate, Charles, she said, in a menacing voice. "Did you do it ? "On mv word of honour, Aunt, I never .saw the 'beastly thing till this minutereally and truly." My Aunt snorted. "I don't believe you,'" she snapped, and left the room. I should havo liked there and then to have had a quiet heart-to-heart talk with Mr. Andrew bung. Some day, I feel certain, niv Amit Sophia will cut me oft with less than tho proverbial shilling— and for-no fault, of liiino.'