THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1461, 8 June 1912, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VlEW.[Bt;m.c.kj There oro (writes tho special political correspondent of this column) serious dissensions in tho Cabinet. Mr. Russell has displayed some want of tact in regard to his paper tho "Spectator." At the last Cabinet meeting ho ostentatiously produced a copy of a rccont issue containing an article in which ho congratulated himself on his excellent performances, and very pointedly underlined somo passages in the article. It is understood that tho other members 1 of tho Cabinet are eoro at the fact that while no paper lias a good word for them, Mr. Russell has a paper that extols him.. Mr. EH lui3 also contributed to the discord by his discovery that his Department affords him tho opportunity to score- by sending fish to farmers through tho post. There, is a great deal-of heartbnrning ever this, and Mr. Colvin wns. especially annoyed, because ho had discovered that there were no fish in mines. Ho has been placated, however, by Cabinet's decision to allow him to send coal by post. Mr. EH created' a scene by vigorously denying that all the "fat" was in his part. Ho maintained that-his edict against gambling could be copied by any of his colleagues, and it was the suggestion that they should bo mere imitators that anneyod his colleagues, especially Mr. Hanan. Mr. Haiian, however, consented to withdraw his resignation on Cabinet deciding to nuthoriso him to issue v a regulation forbidding femalo teachers to oliew tobacco during school hours. Mr. Laurensnn is particularly unhappy, and he makes every Cabinet meeting unpleasant by complaining that ho has to do nearly all the actual work of violent language. I anticipate, however, that there will bo no resignations prior to the meeting of Parliament. '

"The speakers were ouestioned noon their party's attitude during • tho • Auckland trouble, as to their party's repudiation of the clasi war. upon arbitration ana tnc strike whether industrial amalgamation was possible without endorsement of political platforms, and if it was not dangerous to have a party mad-3 up of opposing economic.interests.. These.and other questions were courteously roulied to. -From the Federation of .Labour s official report of the visit of the United Labour party s emissaries. '"So yer'repudiate the class war, do yer? ' Ever.heard of a scab? You're the bloke. Wdtcber moan by repudiatin' the class war' when the solidarity of the mnvement, the uplift, onward-comrades, I appeal to yer, riso up and tear the .windpipe out of the incubus of Mammon and tho wago system fattenili' an' battenin' on tho groans of the slaves. Slaves, I tell, yer! Vairs! ' Crawlin' ter the classes, doiyin' tlio cause cf humanity! Wotcher attitude?" :. T "Certainly,'"'said Mr. Paul. "I'm really Borry. By all means. Yes, Mr. Semple. .Why, yes. I for the world ——" "Liar!' Now qucstipn -number two. Wot ;a.bouti industrial amalgamation? Ha! 'Amalgamation! The amalgam—upward, comrades! Amalgamate upwards! Solidarity! The dawn! Out of the void into the actual! Division, disunion, class organisation—pah! Wotcher attitude?" "Quite—«r— quite so, Mr. Ross," said Mr. Paul. "Exactly so. Indeed, I agree. You put it extremely well, and I admitin fact, yes. Yes. Quito yes." "Liar! Question number three. Wot about endorsin' political platforms? Somo cows disagrees with it, not knowin', not knowin', comrades, wot a difference between -wage slavery and endorsin'. I tell yer, comrades, endorsin' is tho only thing! Yairs! Mammon can 'owl, -but platforms, ; endorsed platforms, political platforms endorsed and- 'ung outer, moves Earth, moves 'Eaven, moves, yes,, comrades,, moves 'Ades. Wotcher attitude?" "I agree," said Mr. Paul. "Believe me, Mr. Hickey, I agree. It is true. . Yes— on consideration; decidedly so. I assure you, with all respect —" "Liar! Question number four. Wot about opposin' economic interests? Do yer favour splittin' economic interests, w'en Labour, reelisin' as Labour don't mean work, w'ich work is wage-slavery, •w'en Labour, solid, Gawd-liko, 'oly Labour, perducin' an' consumin'? Wotcher ' attitude ?" "I agree entirely,',' said Mr. Paul. "Yes, )dr. ~You convince me." "Liar!" said the chairman. "Now get out." Tho deputation having precipitately retreated, Mr. Semple said, "Well, boys, they wcro polito anyway. Now, Bill, move that resolootion abolishin' capital without mercy."

Dealing with the political situation a local journal said this, in the course of its leading article en Wednesday: "tTndar such circumstances there worJd be no necessity for the Opposition to remodel itself for the purpose of carrying such a CANr)I,E appendage as the wirepullers in the background may design." Can anyone throw a little more light on -this tale? Alice was just about to gp away when a man arrived, out of breath, with tho Mad Hatter following. "Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "in opening the post office, which is a credit to Porangahau- —" "This is not Porangahau," said Alice. ."This is Wellington, and " but before she could say another word he was olt again, shouting, "The country is behind ■us!" The Mad Hat-ler entered something in a note book. "They all say the same .■thing,"'he grumbled, "excepting Mr. Tt ' Rangihirc-a. And he says nothing." ;

f'Wko are they?" asked Alice. ' "Why, are you another?" asked the Jlad Hatter. "Another what?" said Alice sharply. "Another Royal Commission," said the Mad Hatter. "You asked n question. Royal Commissions ask questions. Ton aro therefore a Royal Commission." "I am not," said Alice. "Why, what have you done? Everyone else is," said tho Hatter. "Here's another," he cried, as another., breathless man. arrived, rapidly '' saying. "Cruel! Cruel! Cruel! Lie! Lie! Lie! Low! Low! Low!" Tho Dormouse stirred, but did not open his eyes. ".Mr. Laurensoii," lie said, waving an explanatory paw .towards tho newroiaer, for Alice's benefit. "What/is Uu saying?" asked Alice. "He's explaining why he is a Minister," said the Mad Hatter, "but what I tell him is, he should explain why he won't bo b. Minister next month. That funny noiso ho is making—" "Yes," said Alice, "what is it?" "That is statesmanship," said tho flatter. "Why," said Alice, "it is just the same noise as tho now cook made when mother gave her a "week's notice. Please, sir," she said timidly, "if you don't like it, why do yon do it ?" The Dormouse woke up and pulled .1 large volume from his pocket. Turning to page !)G9 he quoted, "Travelling allowances go", a day extra," and went to eleop Dtrain. The Minister rushed away, shouting as he ran. "lint who are they?" asked Alice. "They aro arithmetic students," said the Mad Hatter. "They are trying to subtract 41 from 36, and they can't even giiess the answer. Then they are doing division sum?. Divide a party into two, they Bay, «nd one part is bigger than the two pnrls." "How Billy," Gaid Alice. "Euclid distinctly says—" "Ah, yes, Euclid," said the Mad Hatter. •'The man who 6<us Q.E.D. where vre snj

Anion. But Euclid may deny what you were going to say he said. Oh!" ho ended in a squeak, for a man with tartan socks and u curly walking stick suddenly bounced up, and cried out "The country is wi' us!" "Euclid?" ho went on'eagerly. "Is any ono of you Euclid? For if Euclid wuil deny that he ever said that of tint things that are unequal the larger isthe greater, I micht gie him a portfolio." • Tho Dormouse woke up. "I am Euclid," lie said, "and I deny the statement attributed to me. 1 was misreported." "I appoint ye Attorney-General," said tho strango man. "But I manna waste time. The country is wi' m," and stepping rapidly into a train he whirled off. "Dear me," said Alice. "How bewildering. Why do they bounce about so?" "Hush," said the Hatter. "Hero is Mr. Ell," and pulling a plate of fish and chips from his pocket ho began to eat them hastily. Tiic newcomer was a Minister carrying a mail bag. "Tho country is behind us," he said, and then, catching sight of tho Hatter, pulled a fish from tho bag and offered it to him. "No thanks," said the Hatter, "1 havo some. Alice also declined. "Porhaps you will try a stamp," said the Minister very eagerly. "No, thank you," said the Hatter. "I always telephone." "A slot telephone?" said the Minister. "Yes," said tho Hatter. "I knew the country was with us," said tho Minister. Suddenly several other Ministers arrived. "Oh dear," said Alice, "I must go. I have an appointment on July i. Is it July ..I yet?" The Ministers all turned pale, and looked at one another in consternation. "July!" they all said dismally, climbing into a special train. "Oh! July," and the train steamed away with tears pouring through tho windows.