THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1443, 18 May 1912, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW-

[BT M.C.K.J

"That's the way to deal with the situation," said tho man who had been reading Mr. Churchill's declaration concorning further naval activity. "Why, tlio enemy is threatening our life, and I'm glad that tho authorities aro alivo to tho situation."

"Rather," said t'ho other man. "Ifs been coming for years, and it's about timo a strong Btand was taken. The onomy's strength has been growing and growing; tho invasion has practically begun, and onr forces are weaker than they were."

"Well, it's hardly so bad as that," said the Navy enthusiast. ,

"But it is, and those of us who really think nbout it are very uneasy. Wliat makes it worso is that there is a strong movement to cut tho painter and be independent of England." "Yes, so I'vo heard," said the Navy man, "but surely they are only a few stray Republicans?" "Republicans?" said the other man. "I don't know them. You're not thinking of tho Orientals, are yon? Anyway, as I was saying, what would happen if we cut the"painter? I say tho enemy would swarm all over us. It will bo a. dash bad day for New Zealand when tho separatists get their way. That meeting was tho most important ovent of tho year, don't you think? I'd like to have the report of it placed in every home." "Meeting? I must have rai.-sed something. Certainly Mr. Churchill's speech was enormously important."

"But there was nobody named Churchill present! Churchill? Churchill? Only Churchill I know of is the politician."

"Excuso me, sir," said the Navy enthusiast. "We may be at cross purposes. I was speaking of tho grave character ot the problem of British naval defence." "What!" exclaimed the other man. "Why, weren't we talking of the mcnacc to the Rugby game?"

Mr. D. M'Laren, who tho other day delivered a speech on art, continues his mad career into tho vory heart of the camp of Mammon' and the art critics. During this week he Ims said tho last word on kinematogrnph films and poster.-, aesthetically considered. "At the present time," ho remarked to a reporter, "I am going into the question of the indiscriminate posting of bills all over the city, ■which is making tho place look hideous. This sort of thing is not only undesirable 'from tho aesthetic point of view, but might almost bo said to offend from the standpoint of common decency. I think that wo should show eomo littlo concern for the beauty of our city, and not. allow coarsely-inartistic placards anil show pictures to be scattered in directions until they become .an affliction to anyone with an appreciation of the beautiful." Commanded to report the effect upon the workers of Mr. M Laren s statement, our own working man, Bill, burst instantly into song, delivering himself as follows:—

Foller toilers, ../ave yer noticed wot is

'apponin' ter Dave— Dave, the one-time hardent elper of the pore down-trodden slave? _ 'E'a become a 'igh-art patron, stead o strippin' fer the (ray;. . . t 'E ain't no moro ths Dave we knoo oo clieercd 113 on our wa.y. 'E's fergettin' of 'is dooty; 'E'a a-lecturin' on beauty! Alas! 'ow civic honours lures our leaders thus hastray'!

With jamming ragin' 'arder than it ever useter rase, Does 's up an' checr us honward ter the -■ comin' glorious hage? Ho! No! 'E ain't no longer the MLaren wot we knoo; E's Ma-Worship wot discusses the aesthetio point of view. W'ich it. aclts like a. emetic For ter 'ear 'im talk aesthetic; Orowin' 'ot abart tho posters an' the pictures wot are blue.

W'ich I 'ad a 'orrid fancy e'd become a. I/abourphobe, W'ich me trust begun ter totter w'en 'e "■..''donned that Mayoral robe. 'Ow heasy is the downward parf! Tho robe it was the start— The germ wot' 9 spread so rapid into interest in Hart! 'E's bin sejn, they tell me, dally Takin' tea with Mr. Baillie— W'ich I bet a quid as Labour wasn't wot they chinned abart.

'Is voice, wot useter tremble at the thought as blokes should toil, Now trembles only w'en 'e says, "Ho, wot a lovely oil!" An' Mamining smiles an' chuckles. Ho, but Hamming knows the game; 'Ow sad it is 'ow ofting I 'ave wept ter see the same. Think of Dave a'growin' polished Wile there's Work ter be Abolished! W'ich I ups an'i tells yer David (are yer listenin', David?) "Shame."

According to a Sydney correspondent, Sir Joseph Ward has become a hopeless victim of golf. A round on tho golf course, he says, soothes the nerves, and produces tranquillity of mind and temperament, and for tired public men he commends it as tile tonic par excellence.

Our office clairvoyant supplies tlio following cxtract from the speech which Sir Joseph Ward will deliver at tho banquet in Invorcargill nest month:—"l have differed from The Dominion at times, and I have no hesitation in saying that, despite tho position I had to take up, and 1 am aware of my responsibilities, I repeat it, Tub Dominion is, and always has been, I may go so far, gentlemen, as to say, without fear of contradiction, that The Dominion moreover always will bo, as I have said, a. paper of exceptional excellencc. It abounds in qualities such as every golfer must admiro. I have given orders to the publisher to keep mo supplied with it for tho . next sixty years, because I assert without fear of contradiction that its broad-mindedness, its wholesome attitude on tinance, and its unswerving determination to make lifo pleasant for all—indeed, gentlemen, I cannot control my feelings when I think of it. May I interrupt my remarks to ask you to drink the health of The Dominion, with no heel-taps. (The toast was honoured with groat enthusiasm.) My good friend tho editor' let us drink his health, gentlemen—(the toast was drunk with cheers)—knows little about gulf, though. (Laughter.) If I con sparo the time, I shall contribute golf notes to tho paper every Saturday, and thus mako it quite periect. (Cheers.) Now, ono word about Mr. Massoy and the Iteform Party. I admiio them without reservo of any kind, and 1 ain satisfied that they all havo tho makings of good golfers. If over I havo to leave this country, I shnll nover fail to romember the ability, tho honesty, the kindliness, the patriotism of Mr. Massey and his friends. Gentlemen, it will console me to feel that the country will bt safer. than ever in their hands, and have 110 hesitation in saying that th< country is safe, and I have figures here, and they are on record, which establish that fact beyond question, which I will read: '3, 4, 3, 9, 17, 19, 2, 5, 26, 3, 3, 3, It, 14, 15, 2, 29, 1, total 172 (the last was a 'tremendous putt.)' Excuse me, gentlemen, I thought I had the statistics, bat it was my first round. (Cheer;.) But long .-ipm'iies as 1 am convinced, are undesirable and not ill the be*t interests ui all, nor emi ;myoue challenge that, assertion, f-o that I shall conclude, gentlemen, by n=king you to drink a toast thnt I taU

a" keen delight in proposing. 1 pr"|)«=r tho health of 'Everybody.' lfor they ar joUv—." The vision ended horo, om claicuOja-ttt WJii