SOME HOWLERS.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1350, 30 January 1912, Page 6

SOME HOWLERS.

——-» UP-TO-DATENESS IN SCHOOLBOY DEFINITIONS. Some delightful howlers are riven in "The University Correspondent. The following is a selection: Grace Darling was a light housekeeper's daughter. Lord Raleigh was the first man to see the invisible Armada. The South of the U.S.A. grows oranges, figs, melons, and a great ciuantity of preserved fruits, especially tinned meats.. Milton married a young girl who ran back to her parents, so ho wrote a sonnet 011 Divorce. The saddest thing King John did was to lose his crown in the laundry. The father of Henry IV was John o' Groats. The American war was started becauso tho people would persist in sending their pareols through tho post without stamps. Prince William was drowned in a butt of Malmsey wine; ho never laughed again. Richard II is said to have been murdered by somo historians; his real fate is uncertain. * - There are five continents, a, o, i, o, u. Tho tides are caused by the sun drawing tho water out and the moon, drawing ir in again. A circle is a lino which moots its other end without ending. Q. A man has x miles to travel; he goes a miles by train, b miles by boat, and c miles ho walks; tho rest ho cycles? How far does he cycle? A, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, 1, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w miles. If the air contains more tbau 100 per cent, of carbolic acid, it is very injurious to health. Algebraical symbols are used when you don t know what you are talking about. , An angle is a triangle with onlv two sides. A circle is a straight line drawn as round as possible with a dot in the' middle. Tho mechanical advantage of a long pump handle is that yon can havo someone to help you nump. St. Andrew is the patient saint of Scotland; tho patent saint of England is Union Jack. An old soldier is called a vegetarian. A centipede is a French measure of length. The Homo Office is whero Homo Rulo is made. A Bishop without a diocese is called a Suffragette. In the houses of the poor tho drains are in a fearful state, and quite-unfit for human habitation.