THE DIM DIM HOURS.

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1301, 2 December 1911, Page 11

THE DIM DIM HOURS.

A SMALL PHANTASY. CHAIRS THAT HOLD DESTINY. (Br Jknht Wbei.) Slowly, impressively, with & ton# of told finality, the town clock chimed out the houx of midnight. It had come at last, that magic hour, when all the world we think inanimate shakes itself free from its shackles of silence aad unseen, unheard, plays its part also in the drama of life. Twelve! At the last stroke deft the stillness of the night, a long, deep sigh resounded through tho dimness of the Chamber of Parliament House. It came from the Speaker's chair, which creaked, and gave another sound that, in 6ome way, suggested tho idea that it was enjoying a' thoroughly good, sdul-relieving yawn. It was followed by a voice, dignified, courteous, and somewhat weary, as befitted the voice of the Chair. "A few mora days," it 6aid, "and we shall know our fate. Somehow I feel as though the suspense and anxiety will be too much for me, and 1 sbuil oollap&e before the joyful newa of our emancipation is brought to oa. This election is too momentous, too trying for our health." Again a long-drawn, heavy sigh swept through the room u the speech ended.

Messenger!" Baid a muffled, but raucous voice on the right of the Speaker's chair, coming from the direction of the ink-pot belonging to that most gentlo and persuasive Minister from Motueka, the Hpn. Roderick M'Kenzie. "Pull ujj the blinds at once! I've already tripped over the blotting-pad trying to reach tho dictionary to find out tfjiat 'courtesy' means. I'm told my owner oouldn't possibly define it, and that my education, as a gentleman, is not complete without it. Pull them up at once. The messenger's chair creaked and rattled as it hurried off to do, the ink-pot's bidding, but it was suddenly arrested by ft voice testily bidding It to stop. 'I object to tho public knowing anything about our ■ private deliberations," said the Prime Minister's favourite pen. 'The trees and the moonlight can sw and hear us, and it may interfere with the successful carrying out of our borrowing policies, and all our plans for the future. I object to more light." The chair submissively hurried backto its place, but, unfortunately, as it was_ rounding the gangway, it knocked against a huge pile of volumes of bluebound statistics, New Zealand Statutes, and thick grey-coloured appendices that had strayed in. to join in the deliberations. They fell to the ground with a crash which ' roused a chorus of shrieks and moans, for their nerve 3 had. bepn shattered bv the Ion? hours of exhausting midnight legislation with which the swinn had concluded. When it had subsided, a tearful but defiant roico was hoard issuing from "the padded leather cushion of the Prime Minister's feat. I absolutely refii'e to be sat upon by Uie Primp Minister any longer. I can t stand it, <\iul, if it ever occurs a?ain, I shall commit suicide, or run amok, or throw myself upon him, awl Bmother him altogether I'm a plain democratic, cushion without frills of any kind, and these decorations with which he lias covered, himself-ho aro tnn for one so simple a habit as I. I'm pining, and have pined in secret all thc« years, to have the honour of being sat upon by Mr. Massey, and shall never'be nappy till hi) does. Thero's a plain, courageous, true democrat for you if v «n • iriltit-one, • concluded tho cushion, p'nfTtng itself up with emotion and prH«. A chorus of approving shouts greeted his remarks, oven the arm of the seat against f ! C |i, James Carroll always bo comfortably ensconced: himself joining (with much deliberation) in the shout. It even roused itself to speak, slowlv. mnsienllv and with as much suavity, as might be exnected from an arm that had had much association with the Minister for iNntivo Affairs. "I have been looking intio the matter vi,, th S £ yoar \, a . nd . 1 suite agree with v' t th f,L SOmeU V, n . ? ould be done. «;,w somethmp- is we must consider \ery shortly. We must nOt ri«h it however Jaihoa" is really useful ami things have a, way. of moving .-themselyes sometimes. '■ VVe- must consider matters :very carefully.", ~l [/ 'v ]n? uttem! these words,"if "covered itself with a handkerchief, and calmlv unmoved by the impatience manifested by those around it, went to sleep. I m tired to death of this regime" furiously remarked a volume of Hansard that had, up till then, been busilv scanning an Estimates paper.- "What selfrespecting volume can stand being made a fool of in the manner that we lm-o been. Here we are, filled with inflated speeches by Government members swearing that, on no account, would they do certain things. Every argument undor the sun is brought forward to-justify themselves regarding the stand they are taking, and then- - what do we have as soon as a little pressure is brought to bear on them? They turn the ' most wriggling somersault that man could ever turn, and begin to make fresh speeches, which we, suffering martyrs that we are, have to incorporate into our very lives explaining their reasons for takins? such acrobatic leaps. Look at tho Knyvett case, look at the Auckland Government House affair; look at the land question, look at ever so many such things. This degradation is eating into the very soul of me. nnd I cannot stand it."

At this point the volume turned its pages to the wall, and its covers bepan to phake with a tempest' of sobs. Hpjivv, black tears fell upon the floor, and, in alarm, the other books gathered around trying to comfort it. "1 don't care. If I can only w.i=h away' all this disgrace I shall be only too happy to give up my life in this way," it sobbed. "All my brothers, and my sisters, and my cousins, and my aunts lia.-e vowed that, if tho Government pets in this time, they Trill hurl themselves in a body into the sea, nnd the printing works have promised that they will do nto more printing in that case." Comforted at the thought. Hansard began to dry its pages with the blotting paper, with due regard for their complexions. "That's all very well for yon," said the Public Estimates paper gloomily. "What can I do though? The end of the last session was even more of a nightmare to me than it has been before, The recollection of those hours makes me shiver every time I think of them—thousands and thousands of pounds being voted away by exhausted • men who did not know what they were doing—or even care, somo W them. Millions borrowed and millions spent in ways of which they kpew _ nothing, and ytt woman wonder how it is that the cost of living is so high, and is. growing higher, every day. That is why, and I, who know, can do nothing. I am merely a jumble of countfi&urcs and words th&t have been conjured together in all kinds of fantastic combinations. How I long for the financial management of the member.for Brnco, no 'wizard of finance,' but a man of dound financial ability. Hi ho! It's coming, though, as certain as I see gleams of daylight." .

At this there was a chorus of consternation, and cries of "Daylipht! Surely not!" As though fo confirm the last speaker's words, the crowing of a cock was heard, and, at the wnnd, there was a hurried scrambling in the room, a scraping along the floor, a banging of doors, and, finally, silence. The clock, which had been watching the course of events Mlow with fascinated interest, hushing his ticking for the time, once more resumed hjs impassive expression, and again nothing more was heard but the measured beating of his heart, and the faint squeaking of an inquisitive mouse being chastised by its irato parent for trespassing in such a hyly place as the Legislative Chamber.