SOME NEW FITZGERALD

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1259, 14 October 1911, Page 9

SOME NEW FITZGERALD

STORIES. 1 Mr. Morley Adams contributes (o e "T.P.'s Magazine" for September some • new stories of'"Old Filz." • It appears 1 that tho remaining intimates of FitzGer- " aid are now very few. "Posh" may occa--3 sionally be seen about Lowestoft; the 3 Rev. George Doughty still preaches at tho 5 little Martlcsham Church standing on tho J bank of a creek of FitzGerald's much--5 loved Deben; Aldis Wright is to be found ' at old-world Beccles; and fhe i quintette is completed by Mr. John Lo'dcr, J.P., ' and Mr. Herman Biddell, of Playford. ' One of his readers still lives at Wood- ' ' bridge, and at the same town there are many men and women who remember the ' strange form that "slouched through the ; narrow streets looking neither to tho left ; nor right, but straight iu front, often making a soft hissing sound with tongue and teeth, like a groom makes when ' brushing a horse." FitzGerald, was onco walking down '! Church Street, Woodbridge, in company i with a friend on the- way to the Deben I to go aboard his yacht. The day was hot, and he walked bareheaded and -barefooted, his shoes slungby their laces across his shoulders, his clothes untidy and ill-fitting. -At the fonr-cross-ivays, where the post office now stands, was gathered a party of yokels, who made the strange figure the butt for coarse wit. "Ah, bor," exclaimed one -in the sing-song Suffolk vernacular, "Vs a.s mad as a hare.in March." FitzGerald turned to his friend, having overheard tho remark. "Yes," ho said, "the fellow is right, but I'm sane enough to knowthat I'm mad I" To an old' Woodbridge lady, now deceased, FitzGerald occasionally chatted, and, on leaving her cottage one day, ho promised when next ho called he would bring her a book to read. The promise was fulfilled, and FitzGerald brought two volumes, one of Scott's novels and a copy of Wordsworth's poems. Ho left them' with her with the remark that when he started 'out he only brought tho novel, but remembering 'that there were many "words worth" reading in the other book, he had returned for it, Mrs. Howe, his housekeeper, describes FitzGerald: "Such a jokey gentleman ho was, too. Whv. once he* said to met 'Mrs: Howe,. I didn't know we had express trains here.' and I said,,' Whatever do you mean, sir?' and ho says,' 'Why, look at Mrs. 's dress there,' and sure enough she had a long train to it, yon know." Upin another occasion FitzGerald told her that not only was she his housekeeper, but "Howe's keeper" as well. Of FitzGerald's absentmindedness and preoccupation a 'good story is told, ne was going to London from Woodbridge to visit some friends, taking with •him his handyman. When Woodbridge was left the sky-was clear and cloudless, but when London was reached it was raining in torrents. FitzGerald paced restlessly up and down the platform expressing his regret at having failed to bring his umbrella,, and occasionally sending his man out to seo if the rain had ceased. Suddenly FitzGerald stopped in front of a time-table; a brilliant inspiration had come to him. His long, artistic fingers followed the • dotted lines, and then, taking out his watch from his fob, he said to his man: "John, go and fetch my umbrella, and catch tho train back again." And away went faithful.John to Woodbridge, a journey of about ICO miles, and costing twice as much as an urn- ' brella could havo been purchased for just outside the station;- whilst FitzGerald .stayed in tho waiting-room. There has been complaint that every good storv is accredited to Mark Twain, without iiis having really deserved the honour; but Professor Archibald Henderson, in his new book, "Marl: Twain, ' ] points out that actually many of tho best-known common sayings, first created i by Mark Twain, are very rarely credited to him. His sayings in 'TucM'n'liead Wil- .i son's Calendar," such as "The cauliflower i is nothing but-cabbage with a college • education," are generally known as writ- I ten by Mark Twain, but there are others I of which this is not true. Somo of Mark ; Twain's sayings relate to lying. For in- < stance, "Truth is our most valuable_pos- t session. Let us economise it." _ "Never 1 tell a lie—except for practice," is not so 1 well known as tho more popular, "When i in doubt, tell the truth." Professor Hen- f derson comments that of tho latter maxim I Mark Twain declared that he never ex- 1 pected it to be applied to himself. It j was for other people; when ho was in 1 doubt himself, ho used sagacity! Per- •' haps his best summary is, "Never waste •' a lie. You never know when you may ' need it!" A catchword emanating from ■' Mark Twain is, "Be virtuous, and you t will bo eccentric." - Another is, "There I isn't a parallel of latitudo but thinks it ' would have been the Equator if it had ' had its rights." There is something •' •peculiarly American in his warning to ( girls not to marry—that is, not to excess! s Of the Hundreds of Twain sayings, none I is better known than one often attributed •' to Andrew Carnegie, "Put all your eggs - in ono basket—and then watch that J basket!" I