THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1259, 14 October 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

(Bi M.C.K.y

V— A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

"My old," said tho intelligent foreigner,' "tell me this of your Sir Findlay. 'The State,' ho say, 'no longer intend to be tho cold foot gendarme, regarding calmly the people who starve, bnt should attemp' in some measure to bo tho parent intelligent and kind, doing what the wise father would do for his sons and daughters.'-•-Who is this State? When did ho resolve to abandon being a gendarme and appear a 9 tho Santa Clans?" 'Higher ideals, that's what Sir John moans," said the Wardite. "Birt yet, the State? Who is he? Sir Bart? Sir Findlay? Who, then?" ■ "Tho people," said the Wardite. ' "But I not comprehen'. Docs Sir Findlay say we are gendarmes, cold of heart, with the grand feet? By blue! I ain't. And that tho people watch the people starving? There is some mystery, my old, about this Sir. How can the happy change:effect itself?" "When Sir John gets into tho Houso , he'll be better able to- push ahead, as it ' were. He's standing for Parnell, you know." "Oh, but this is magnifiqne! How fortunate that he make this resolve as to the State,at this same time! The fine chance! How will he transform the gendarme Stato into .the Santa Clans? . .Did ho not explain? Only in a general way? Peste! Tor to commence, I - suppose, you must elect bim at Parnell? So? Yes? Surely Parnell will return his love. But he may not be'elected. By blue! My old, regard that possibility! ' Where will tho State bo then ? ; Pouf—vanished. Bonm—wo are no more! WKo will turn tho handle ? There will be no handle, no machine, no State, no policeman, no nozzing! What horror!" "Oh, I suppose well get along all right,"" the Wardite replied rather sourly. ' "No, never of more! We are poor, wandering ones—no kind, father State, no . Sir Findlay coming wibh bread, no nozzing no more. Whoro is tho bath, my old? I wish to weep." From the "Masterton Notes" in a recent issue: "The public ■ baths in Mastertcn woro opened in llasterton yesterday." It was a happy thought to select Masterfcon as tho-placo for tho ceremony. A little parochial, perhaps. Miss Ola Humphreys has left Prince •Hassan. owing to incompatibility of temperament. ■ The. Princo Hassan never ~ struck lis as likely, to succeed as a husband, so that we are not surprised to learn,that.the Prince Hassant;' A bootmaker's dd.: "Another staggerer. Great men's boots, 14s. Cd. for 10s. Gd." But 'what could one expect, tho knighthoods are so multiplied nowadays as to glut the market ? Far-seeing collectors are • turning their attention to the' discarded : hatsj of the' J untitled, who' are becoming ■ increasingly 'scarce. ' . "I'have been both pained and surprised 1 at tho. alrijoat, equally, universal failure of the press to realiso the possibility of anyjperson taking the step'l'have done Bpleiy 'fol'{the purpose'of forwarding his ' ideals for the betterment of human society, apart from any question of personal advantage. It seems- to have been altogether beyond the range of their comprehension to conceive the possibility of any, person doing as I have done from purijlymisih'tiifcsted motives, hence their , speculations regarding .the futuro have been somewhat grotesque and amusingly contradictory."—Mr. Fowlds. "What ' Drills ■ tho New Evangelist?" said Someone Muoh Dismayed. ■" 'E's shocked at 'uman. nature, boss," the -. Old Elector said; ' > '"E's 'art and' flabbergasted fer tor findwe doesn't look Tor eee a lofty motive, one as isn't wholly crook . . ' • Wen Ministers Quite suddenly decades ter take their 'ook From the hoffice3 1 . they nseter bo adotrnin.'" /"But ■ what did ho expeot. dear friend?" ■ said Someono Much Dismayed. • '> "Oo knows? 'E's such a tender bud," the Old Elector 'Said; '' . .'See the blokes as sat around 'im—Kus&eU, , 'Ogan, Poole, arid-'AH— ,r E reckoned they wero angels, not mere .'umirn inen at all; ' *E thought the public worshipped'em. Ob! Wot a 'orrid fall ' H 'la notions muster 'ad that horfnl : mornin.'" J y*But. friend, has no one ever told—?" said j Someone Much Dismayed. "Apparently they 'adn't, boBS," the Old • Elector £aid; ' ' "'E 'ad a sortea* notion as wo send onr ' chicks ter school' . With a solemn exhortation ter observe this ' •golden rule: . 1 Billy, foller Smith's example: make yer 1 pattern Mr. Poole,'— ' ( Tho names, o' course, ter vary every j mornin'." j he must have read tho papers, friend." t said Someono Much Dismayed. £ f"E don't believe in papers, boss," the Old ] ' Elector said; , *"B onco believed in lotd er thing©; 'e once, believed in Joe; ' But 'o don't botieve in' not-hink now; 'c feels c the Earth is low. E i!ut, Lor', a bigger sliock ia doo. Poor, roott 11 St. George! Wot oh I , s We'n we cast our bloomin' votes election c mornin'." o ■' E From tho newly-issued "Handbook on a Parnell and Its Environs": s What was the loast-heard-of electorate 11 in iN'ow Zealand prior to October, 1911?— Parnell. ' What is the most famous electorate at this moment ?—l'arnell. Which is tho moat important bit of h New Zealand?—Parnell. fl And the ono that has the ercatcst future?—Parnell. P And. the one with the most progrcs- g oive and intelligent residents?—Parnell. i-i And tho ono that most deserves the expenditure of larse sums of public a ■ money?—Pa.rnell. u What is the homo of fair women, brave ii men, and eharmii:? babies?—Parnell. ci . What i' 3 the place thiil nobody wanted tl to live in prior to Octobcr, 1911?— pa- ] ( noli. c What used to be the safest seat for ® the Government?—Parnell. What is no longer a safo seat?— Pa- « neil. Where has the Seattcss Knight pro- T mised to live?—Parjioll. j Where will he live after tho election?— T Parnell. . 1 What place is that which is wiukine ii its other eye?—Parnell. . tc Hero is a friendly hint to Mr. Massey. p Ho must'not supposo that, b'eau.-e lio has si already admitted !)99 times that much of w the public , debt is reproductive, he may b: evor omit to mention tho fact. On sov- tc eral' occasions he lias been at fault in a this connection.. On three mornings run-ning,-lately, he ;.sked for haiu and. ejfgff without mentioning to the '"waiter that .'very; p?nny of the debt was NOT spent si n purchasing postholeg and doorways lid the long orificcs tliat you pour braii j mnd it order \'j make cannon. It is itural that the Prime Minister should ] t] > vexed, ne would not protest—indeed, N lero would bo no reason for protesting •{iiinst Mr. Massey's habit of greeting 81 .is friends without telling them that ] 1: ■ome of tho borrowed money was spent p m highly reproductive footwarmers for the railways— wore it not that everybody h believes that tho money was borrowed IP Hid thrown down Ngauruahoe. It is obvinii.n that Mr. Mass 6/3 occasional omission to ctrrroct this id«i ia equal to say- j' ing. that tho debt ia whotJjr unxoprodac-J^jj

tire. Ha must bo more careful. There is another mnttor, a very serious one. People are already beginning to notico Mr. Masscy's studied and persistent neglect to preface his criticism of the Government by frankly telling his audience that none of tho Ministers has ever beon in gaol for burglary. His purpose in.omitting to mention this fact may not be what it appears to bo, but it does look as if he is endeavouring to persuade tho public that Mr. Buddo is an cscapco from New Caledonia, and that his colleagues are no better. If Mr. Massey is a m'an of honour ho will withdraw his insinuation. It is innuendoes liko tlieso, vile scurrilous abuso liko this, that damages 'tho credit of the country, and I have no hesitation in saying that if the Opposition think that we shall rest in the position, and it is on record, and here I may add that the credit of tho country is nothing to these slanderous traitors, but I snap my fingers at them. As Edmund Bucko would say. But forgot to.