THE WELCOME HOME.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1216, 26 August 1911, Page 6

THE WELCOME HOME.

J . . . ANO THE DEMOCRACY, DILL AND JIM EXPLAIN* (By 1.N.K.) Bill Juggins ejected a small quantity of tobacco juico as ho approached tho wharf, and, seeing Muggins, asked what tho crowd was. ".100 Ward," said Muggins. ",100 'oo?" "Joe Ward." "The liarrownet?" "Yes," said Muggins, "what yer think the crowd was for if 'ee woin'l comin'?" "ihought yer was in 111' know more'u that, Jim!" "How? What yer comin' at?" «i?, i, snvG llis mal ° '•>■ knowing look. JJidn t yer ear. I'll tell yer. Joo aiut goin r ter land hero!" "Where?" asked Jim in a hoarse whisper. Jim whispered sonlething. "Kot." "Absolutely true." "Good 'eavens!" ejaculated Bill. "What lor? .. "Yes," wont on Jim. "And as a matter ot fac wots moro 'es comin' in in a carnage with th' Win's drawn-drawn down." But what tho dickens for? Why don't t.M ant noDO( Iy to seo 'im?" Modesty 'coursa': Not that ho don't want nobody ter sco 'im." "But what does he want ter bo so modest fcr? Ain't Hi' people just mado im a barrownct?"

0, yes of course they mado him a baronet, but that ain't the point. Don't matter wot you mako Joe, he don't orltcr. Don t matter if they mado 'im Premier next election he wouldn't bo any difierent to you and me." Bill and Jim edged their way to the trout of tho wharf. "pretty ruf night fcr a barrownct," eayo Bill. "Guess 'cs leanin' over tho 'and. rail a bit." "Jimmy Carroll's th' boy fer anything like thai, says Jim. "Wot's ho do?" says Bill. "Postpono's it," says Jim. "Ho's another good old democrat, Jim," remarked Bill, when tho Acting-Prime Minister's name was mentioned. "Yes, ther ain't no frills about Jimmy Carroll. A soft shirt and a cigar doc* the old man." "Among other things, of course," added BiU. "They tell mo there's a bloko on one of tho newspapers 'ere," went on Jim, "who tried ter interview Jimmy onost and couldn' keep 'im awake." Bill laughed. "Go on," ho says. "Yes, the bloko says ter Jimmy ad wot his' paper wanted a interview, and Clio races wus on, nnd Jimmy says: 'Sco mo lermorrer.' 'But,' says tho bloke, 'wo must 'avo it terday. Tcrmorrer's too late. Can't yer let mo 'avo it now?' Jimmy waits awhile: and (hen ho savs, '0, termorrow '11 do.' Then the bloko says, 'But if we don't 'avo it terday tho Opposition paper'U 'avo it in Hi' mornin'.' 'o,' seys Jimmy, 'termorre.r '11 do. I wanther-go-ter th' races. Th' cab's waitin'.' 'Yes,' says tho bloke, 'but wo can fix it up like before yer eoes.' 'Jes' so,' Jimmy says, 'but I've goiter 'avo a smoko before I goes. Tormorrer'll do.' So Jimmy sits down on tho sofa in the big hall in th' pub, lights up, and sits back. Tho bloko 'esitatcd. It's a "truesayin', Bill, that 'o 'oo 'esitafos is lorst. While the bloko 'esitatcd Jimmy goes tor sleep and tho bloko misses th' interview."

"Decent," soys Bill, "Yes. If that 'ad a been th' Chief Justice 'o wouldn't a blown 'ow to go ter 6lecp an' put the bloke off 'cnu6o 'e don't smoke. Or it had a been Ruddy M'Kenzie he might a rung up th' bloke's orfico an' told th' editor tcr send a barrcr voun* for th' pieces." "Thero's no doubt about it, all tho politicians aint th' straight dinkum liko Jimmy and Joe," 6eys Bill. "Wot you seys is quito right thero. Wot I liko's about 'em is tkoys thorough democrat— never.plays to tho toll's, like." ■-.- "Wot I .idmires most in Joe especially is his modesty," says Jim.' "Ho didn't want a baronetship for hisself; he blew it was meant as a-compliment, for tho people, so ho takes it to show us wuckcrs ho 'as no beastly pride." "Still, it's funny, seys Bill, "he's coming homo that other way instead of this way, wen yer comes tcr think of it." "0, 1 dQnno," soys Jim, "it's 'is modesty. You seo Joe's a out an' out democrat. Ho knows that when ho went away tho democracy 'ad tor pay a guinea each ter farewell him. An' he knows that th' likes ov you an' me, Bill, tho' wo can vote for 'is push at th' election, can't take that hurdle. But it's tlr likes of you and mo and th' rest of th' democrats, Bill, who forces th' position on Joe. Wo wants th' democracy of litis country respected and looked up ter, an' yer . can't ' givo yer Prime Minister a democratio farewell unless yer makes some sacrifice. Everybody looks down on a free show. 'Course I admits I didn't go, 'cause I didn't happen tcr 'avo a guinea at that pcrticler time, but tlie rest of th' democracy wus' there. A democracy liko ours is always prepared tcr make a sacrifice for its Prime Minister."

"Well, I didn't go cither, fcr that matter." fays Bill. "Well, that's two of us was away," 6ays Jim. "So yer see." Jim goes on, "Joo knew 1)y wireless that th' democracy has do. cided to pay a guinea each fcr th' privilege of welcoming 'im homo tcr-night— that's a guinea to send him awtiv and a guinea to fftch him his hart is moved to feel fur th' pore wuckin bloko wots got ter epcu' three days' wages ter go ter the banquet, or stan' outside tli' Town 'All and bo pointed at by (ill th' other wuckin blokes as they rocs inter lh' banquet. .Too knows that oust they gels a sipht of 'im with his barrownetcy on his cheat and wearin' 'is cocked 'at they'll go mad with joy, and all want ter spen' a guinea to eat with Mm in (ha Town 'All, so 'o seys, 'John, we'll go 'omo quiet like, and 'avo the dinner quietly with those wot can afford it. Then it won't he 'ard on th' wuckin men. It' don't matter if we takes a guinea outter th' pocket of Hi' (offs. but we don' want ter make it too 'ot for th' democracy.'" "Jes so," says Bill, "if Joe wanted every Tom, Dick, an'. 'Arry there, ho could give a speech in th' Town 'All." "Course 'c could," says Jim, "but then everybody could go, an' wc only want lh' democracy."