THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1216, 26 August 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE YIEW.

I3x M.C.K.).

"Now this is worth putting down in jour note book," said tho Wardist to tho i intelligent foreigner, and ho read tho : text .of Mr. W. H, Field's inquiry of Sit James Carroll whether tho Government : would legislate so.as to "destroy the influence" possessed by wealth in its ownership of motor-cars at election time. "Ah, tho poor fellow!" cried the infcel- ; ligent foreigner. "A bravo son of the people. • Poor, but honest—that is tho proverb? How it is mngnifiquc, this wharf-lumper defending'his fellows! I ; will remit to him a donation. Is he very poor?" "Field? Poor? Well, not by a good deal, bnt, you see '.' "Thero it is!. I not see. I not any more' ! 6co other things. By example, why docs ; this democrat trcmblo at tho motor-car? ; , Tho domocracy—it is strong, it ■is incor- '' rnptible, it is lofty in its idea, is it not? ; What damage then from riding in motorears ?." ' / "Tou see, they might vote for the plu- ' tocratio donor of the free ride." "Ha! ;You mock, of me! No? Then democracyi ho is—what you say?—ho is, ■ yes! he is just a merry joke. 'Ho not sincere." , '■ 'Ton don't understand.'. The fact is . Look here, I'll put another point. The plntocrnts own all the cars. See ? Very ■ well. Democrats won't rido in cars. See? Very well, again,- Then, tho democrats !■' can't vote." . "But I not comprehend. It is interj dieted to vote unless you arrive at the, j- booth in a car? By blue! What frightful law!" "I.can't be making myself clear. Anyone can vote. But tho motor-cars havo an advantage." "I 6eo now. Your domocrats cannot ;walk. ; They aro debilitated." . "No, but "_ "Ah! Now—now I see completely. The democrat will not vote unless ho is fur- ■ nished with the motor-car. He is proud, ! eh?" : "No! No! No! Listen carefully. Tho plutocrats own all tho cars, and " "Ah, yes, I remind ino of tho car of i the Tory who was knighted. Ta ta—yes! ' Sir Tindlay ho call himself. . And tho : other. What his name? Oh, yes! Sir Ward Bart. Frequent I admiro Sir Bart in his car.'' Whizz! ho goes, but with a i smilo fine and narquois, I say, 'Tory, tho ■ hour will striko for you—bourn!'. And tho Tory Mayor, I forgot-—" : "Hang it all,,man, Sir Joseph,and Sir. John- are our democratic leaders. Bill Massey is tho. plutocrat." "Oh! Then he has tho bigger car still, several of cars! A bas Massey." "Nfo, Bill hasn't any cars at all. But the;plutocrats, you see- — -." "My old, I think I' perceive. I per- !'. ceivo all. Almost I begin to know your democratic leader, what he is. And our Field, ho too' is plain. Ho only prepares for explaining how ho' is vanquished. But liowy. lucky a choico of excuse! Ho should havo laid plans to blame the weather." AtVa social tho other night Mr. D. M'Laren spoko' of the advico that had poured in. upon him when he was about to enter •-•Parliament, -"but tho- advico •which he valued 'most of all" wns that given to him by Mr. Andrew Fisher: "Look here, Mac, understand , this, it's not what a man possesses,.but what lio. is -that makes him-'aV^an-in public,life."' What actually happened-;was 'this':. • '.. "They've told ino ;»' ; kind' of •things,-. Andra." '_■■'" ' . • "Well, Mac, ma man,' tak*. this advice. • A stitch in time saves-nine/' ~-;.-;-.-• "Yo dinna say so'!-; 'Jsi.that tnie'now, Andra? Ono write that ' doan." ' -, '■'. ; , '-",' "And I've found, Mac-laddie, that moss ■will not adhair in .any lairgc' quantity to a revolving bit of. blue, metal. Yo will find that in Burrns." ''.",'■ "Now, tha-fs good, of yo„ Andra. I will write it doan. : In Burrns, yo say?'A most valuable truth." "Hewed, as yo might-say,' Mao, from tho' quarry of experience. And yo should- remember, too, that • tho . least said the soonest mendit." ''-"', "Eh, that's grand. Andra, ye overwhelm me with: your kindness. Let mo write that doan. So well put, too,. Andra, man." "Dinna mention it, Mac. Also recollect that a kind hairt is far more than a shiny flat, and simplo faith a gTander thing than a hereditary title. Dinna let yourself bo led astray from yon. And now I must bo going awa' tao tho Cabinet meeting." ■■-.'' \ "I will write tbat doan, Andra. I wish I bad your gift of penetration. Ifs been a -revelation to me. I canna go wrong now. Man, yo ought to havo a Boswell." "Humbug and hypocrisy," deolared Jfr. Jfa-sscy in criticism of tho Liberal policy, but these were not the words of a-statesman." Thus Dr. Izard. W'hat lofty phraso delighted me before tho, tone had sadly sunk to "humbug" and' "hypocrisy" ?—"Some wretched skunk! . Soiuo wretched skunk!" Once statesmanship, serene, sublime, when asked what loans wero falling due, would keep this'level all tho time:—"You traitor crew! You traitor crew!' , But times aro .changed, and I havo heard (with oh! what pain and miser)-) that truly horrifying word "Hypocrisy, Hypocrisy.". All vain the fine example sx:t (in words I constantly peruse) by our' illustrious baronet when ho broke loose, when ho broke loose. To deepest depths tho foe- has s-unk; the old traditions left behind; he will not simply answer "skunk" —he speaks his mind, he speaks his mind. Contemptuous of our grand old rule, and utterly devoid of tact, almost obscenely calm and cool, he states tho fact, ho states tho fact. Shall I reply in kind? Not me! To that low depth I havo not bunk. My statesmanlike' reply shall be: "You aro a skunk! You are a skunk!" i

Mr. Ell, M.P., has got to tho bottom of it at last. A couple of years ago ho complained bitterly of tho newspaper practice of saying that Mr. So-and-So "also spoke," and ho has evidently been carrying out some inquiries. He has discovered' that tho crimes of tho press are not committed by the reporters: "it's not tho reporters; ifs the sub-editors." It is not to bo inferred that ho gives a clean bill of moral health to tho reporters. Ho knows that they would liko to say lie "also spoke," or oven suppress all mention oi him; but ho knows that tho magic of his voice, tho command of his presence, aro strong enough to prevail against the natural depravity of tho reporters. Unfortunately, however, tho reporter's "copy" must come before the sub-editor, and hero natural depravity can work its wicked will, unchecked by the fascination of Mr. Eli's voice and manner, uncontrolled by tho personal magnetism that emanates from him. Mr. E!l knows all about ii He knows tho sub.—tho man with tho evil face and malicious grin whoso dearest pleasure is to meet another of his species and gloat horribly as they tell eacli other how tlioy slashed away tho gorgeous rhetoric and golden wisdom of the member for Christchurch South. Yes, "it's tho sub-editors," right enough. Ono day tho public will realise it all, and when it is realised that the sub-editors aro responsible for tho deprivation of mankind of what Mr. Ell

did say, the public will rise in its might, drag tho sub-editors from their lairs, and tendon them a banquet and purees of sovereigns. ."What's a slip iv th' pen?" asked Mr. Hennessy. . "it depen's, Jawn. Snpposo Hill Massey wuz t' write that th' public debt is eighty-wan millions an' seven-eighths, whin th' thruth is that it's only eightywan millions an' three-quarters, that wud bo a foul an' char'ctcristie lio iv th' slandherous Opp'sition. Annywan can sec that's not a slip iv th' pen but a dirty plot. Bat suppose mo frind Stout, C.J., bein' ordhcred t' tell th' colour iv lampblack, writes tiiat is is a dazzlin' white, well, that's just a slight defee' in ban' writin'." "Aint there anny iv thoso old non-slip-pin' pens left?" asked Mr. Henncs;y. '.'Somcwau ouglit f iind wan an' give it t' mo frind Stout, C.J." "Ah, gwah," said Mr. Dooley. "Ye'ro out iv date. Why shudn't a Judge use th' now patents? What if it does slip now an' then? Iv coorse, there's th' danger that whin next a forrger comes before frind Stout th' fuifeen may plead t' his.Honour that -'twas just that his pen slipped. . An' I can't see how his Honour cud avoid, grantin' him probation, on condition that ho lives on peanuts an' soda water, 'Twas sickenin' t' hear th' uproar over th' bits iv what Hogan calls local colour in th' report. 'Whin a Judge,' says tli' Opp'sitionist, 'misstates a fact',' ho says, 'wbero arro we?' says he. As if a Judge was not as liable as annywan t' get grease on his pen. TBut ho keeps on doin' it,' says th' Opp'sitionist. 'Sir,' says Lor'nson,"tis turr'blo if we arro f allow annywan t' point out a Judge's 'errors. Tho pallajum iv our liberties is gone if ye starrt t' examine what th' Judges say.. If his pen slips,' ho says, "tis our jooty t' say nawthin', so long, in coorse/ says he, 'that it slips,' says he, 'in a cerrtain direction,' ho says. In coorse, if a Judge's pen slipped all loads, an' wuz as likely f slip into th' neck iv th' Gov'mint as t' slip into th' neck iv some tkrifln person such as wud not be invited f. cheer th' bar'net, well, in that case, ye cud consider him erratic an' onreliable. But ye can't tell me that mo. frind, Stout is incompetent. He's has his pen will ondber control. He's all right."