THE FIFTH CIGAR.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1204, 12 August 1911, Page 6

THE FIFTH CIGAR.

* . MY AUNT SOPHIA. AND THE "TAMMANY BOYCOTT,"

(Br "\Yi.")

The prevailing catarrh epidemic, which had laid mo low the week before, and deprived mo of my periodical fat cigar, had left mo somewhat languid and irritable, but Aunt Sophia had grappled with problems under more depressing circumstances than these. "Are you ablo to smoko ono of those detestablo cigars?" she asked. I replied, feebly, that I was about to risk it. "H'm," she observed, "if you're able to smoke, you're ablo to talk politics." I replied that I supposed I was, and so saying, I lit my cigar and stretched myself ou the sofa. Aunt Sophia heaved a sigh. "It's a weary world, ain't it, Aunt?" I suggested. 'For some people," observed Aunt Sophia, with pointed emphasis. "Well—what were you heaving sighs for?" I inquired, impertinently. "Charles," said Aunt Sophia, despairingly, "I really do not know what to make of you." "Why—what's the matter with mo?" I inquired irritably. "Dash me buttons " "You lie there, and smoke, and do nothing, and—aud—" Aunt Sophia paused. "Yes?" . "You don't .seem to care what the Government does," said Aunt Sophia, in a disconsolate voice. "Oh! tho Government! To toll you tho real truth, Aunt, I had rather forgotten the Government for the moment—what's up now?" "I'vo been hearing dreadful things about the Government," said Aunt Sophia, impressively. "Dear me!" I observed, "how very " ' "Charles!"

"Ahem!—l mean, Aunt, that your observation about tho Government is somewhat alarming," and with that I addressed myself to the cigar. My Aunt regarded mo with a suspicious eye. "They tell me, Charles, that the -Government attempts to penalise people who read Opposition newspapers?" "Quito correct," I commented. "But how?" queried tho lady. "You see, my dear aunt," I proceeded, "this is a very funny country, as I have observed. "That may be, Charles," retorted Aunt Sophia, tartly, "but as I have also previously observed, that is no explanation." "Perhaps not," I agreed. "Put it this way, then. Supposo that you wanted to go to tho races, and " "A race meeting!" exclaimed my Aunt Sophia in a stifled voice. "The idea!" she gasped. I tried again. "Well, we'll suppose that to-morrow was Sunday, and that you had an idea that a trip to Otaki " "You nccd'nt suppose anything of the kind," interrupted Aunt Sophia, with decision. "Oh, very well then," I proceeded, desperately, "let's suppose. that next week was Christmas—which it ain't, worse luck." "M-yes." "And that you thought you'd like to spend your holiday under the roof of one of your more virtuous nephews " "There was no need for that—no need whatever, Charles," said Aunt Sophia in a ruffled voice. "All right—with one of your nephews," I concluded. "Well?" "You would naturally desire to become acquainted with tho railway time-table arrangements and fares for the holiday season ?" ■ : "Of course." "And. yon would quite naturally expect that tho Government would publish full particulars of these arrangements in the newspapers?" "I have seen them in my paper," said Aunt Sophia. "Is your paper opposed to the Government?" I asked.

"It points out their shortcomings," replied Aunt Sophia. "Yet you tell me that you. have seen Government' announcements about the holiday train arrangements in ' your paper?" "Often—every time," said Aunt Sophia: "H'm—well, it's no thanks to the Government that you saw them," I commented. "I do' not understand you," said tho lady. "Very likely not," I replied. "The position is this: There are certain newspapers in New Zealand which arc op-' posed to. tho Government. They criticise tho Government, and our friend the baronet " "Tho baronet?" ' "Yes—, Too Ward—l mean Sir Joseph Ward—onr baronet." "Yes?" "Well, the Government, and especially our friend the baronet, don't like criticism. In feet, they have en several occasions publicly stated their objection to criticism by the Opposition newspapers. They are afraid, no doubt, that if people read those Opposition papers they will not like the Government, for tho Opposition newspapers generally talk pretty straight. So, with the idea, apparently, of inducing—of compelling, actually—these people not to read these particular Onposition papers"; they don't advertise in them."

"But they do, Charles," said Aunt Sophia. "I'vo. seen Government advertisements in my paper." "Yes—no doubt, Aunt," I Teplied. "But these announcements wero not paid for. That is to say, they were not sent in to your paper. If your paper had not noticed them in another paper, and copied them for tho benefit of its readers, you wouldn't have seen these announcements. Take the Railway Department, for example. It runs a special service of trains on a holiday. 'It knows perfectly well that these trains won't pay if the public doesn't patronise them, and the public won't patroniso trains if they don't know when they are running. Hence, as a business proposition, the Department advertises its services in the daily press like any other business firm, with this difference: The business firm advertises its wares whero its announcements will obtain the widest circulation. The Department docs not do that. It. does not advertise its holiday services in certain Opposition papers because of their political views, and because", for political reasons, it ignores the business value of advertising in these papers. What is tho result? The people who read these newspapers because, living in an alleged free country, they choose to do so, would be deprived of these official announcements were it not for the fact that the papers so p"iialised published these at their own cost." ~ „ "Dear me—how very peculiar, observed Aunt Sophia, in a scandalised voice. 'I grinned, "That's one of the pet tricks of the Tammany Tiger, my dear Aunt." I remarked, tossing the cigar into the fire. "Moral—kill the tiger."