CIGAR NUMBER FOUR.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1192, 29 July 1911, Page 6

CIGAR NUMBER FOUR.

MY AUNT SOPHIA. AND A'. KNIGHT'COMMANDER. (Br "Wi.") "I feel perfectly convinced, Charles, that these cigars will Tuin yonr health," observed Aunt Sophia, as I inserted tho end of tlio weekly fat cigar in tho guillotine, and prepared to luxuriate in its delectable fumes. "Well, my dear Aunt," I replied, "ifs my health, isn't it?" "You will die, in the end," declared my Aunt, with conviction. "Kismet! So let it be," I responded, eepulchrally. And so saying> I stretched myself upon tho sofa, and watched tho ' etheroa.l spirit of tho fat uniquity, prico ouo shilling , , floating upwards in a blue spiral. My Aunt Sopliia sighed portentously, as she- might have sighed over tho fate of tho damned, and opened hor note■book. "More politics?" I inquired. "Yes—if I can stand the smoke," re- ; plied my Aunt, plaintively. "No cigar, no politics—just as I am, fyou'know, Aunt." I replied, callously. '"What's the- subject for this evening?" I inquired, getting somewhat weary of iho jnti-cigar movement. "Sir John G. Tindlay, K.C.M.G.," eaid 'Aunt Sophia, in a pulpit voice. "Oho!" I commented. ''And what has this Kniglit Commander of the Most Distinguished Order of St. Michael and St. ■George dono that you should bring him >to judgment—eh? , ' "That's just what I.want to know," to■plied Aunt. Sophia. , "At the Reform Lcafliio the other evening I was told that ho had no right-to this honour. Soraesne said that he had no right to bo in ■the Government at all." "Neither ho has," I replied.

"Well—why is he there?" "Because, my dear Aunt, this is a very "funny .country—politically, I mean." "Yea, yes. But that is not answering my question," objected Aunt Sophia. "You forget, Charles, that I know nothing of these things." I apologised. "I am to regard you in tho light of a pnpil^-eh?" "A student of politics," she corrected, .•with aplomb. "Quito so—and a very painstaking one, I have. perceived." "You have convinced me so far, Charles ■ "Thanks awfully—yes?" " ' , "And if you can convince me that Sir 'John Findlay lias no right to his position "', "Easiest thing in tho world," I assured her. " — I will vote against him," declared 'Aunt Sophia, belligerently. "You needn't 1 worry about that," I replied. "You won't get a chance. Hβ is :not likely to stand for tho Lower House." "Is there some doubt about it?" • "Well—tho electors wouldn't have him ihefore, nail I don't think there's much ichanco of him persuading them_ now. esipecially in view of what nas just "hapfponed." "Wasn't he elected to Parliament?" "Ho was not." "Dear mo!" exclaimed Aunt Sophia, helplessly. "This is all very peculiar." "Very," I agreed, sardonically. "But, tlion, how did ho become a Cabinet Minister?" "By the backstairs," I replied. "Will you try to remember, Charles," observed Aunt Sophia, severely, "that I do not understand slang. Moreover, I object to'it." I apologised, and fortified myself with a few puffs at the fat one. "All. right, !Aunt," I said, 'Til explain. It's.a long, ntory, but I'll cut it short, and give yon the points. Got your note-book ready?" Aunt Sophia screwed up her pencil. \ "To begin with, Aunt, I think' we Bhould have beforo us a picture of tho ideal politician, who is first of all sent into Parliament as a private member, elected i.by.i the < people, //and unknown to fame. Ho is elected because tho peoplo boliero in his principles, and havo confidenco' in his political honour. Very well; he sticks to his principles, justifies the coniid-enco which was placed in him, find gradually fights his way to tho front. In time he becomes one of tho accepted leaders in the Hotipo, and is invited to join the Cabinet. He takes a portfolio, ■and administers the affairs of his Department with a ruthless disregard for political intriguo; as a man would run his business. Hois a trustee—a guardian of the people's interests, and he puts their interests above all else. In short, he does great things for his country, and perhaps some day is knighted by his King. Would any man deny him his honours, think' you? JSot one. Then someone offers to arrange for a baronetcy for him. Ho declines. lam a democrat, in a democratic country,' he says, 'and my heirs must justify themselves and earn honour for themselves.' You agree with me?" "Entirely," Teplied Aunt Sophia. "Success in the world, attained by such a career, is an honourable achievement?" "Undoubtedly." "Very well. Now for our Knight Commander. Once nnon a timo, in tho election of 1902, I think it was, Sir John, then plain Dr. Find Jay, offeml himself as a candidate for political honours, and contested as one of the candidates foe Wellington City. In those days three members wero chosen to represent the city aa a whole. Ho was neither first, second, or third—as a matter of fact ho was only sixth out of nine candidates. ■J\ot to bo denied, when Ward camo into power, he worked tho oracle " "Tho what?" "I mean ho wag appointed AttomeyGoneral, with a seat in tho Legislative Council. Then ho became Minister for Justice, still with a seat in. tho legislative Council. In fact, h 0 became a Cabinet Minister, despite his rejection at tho polls. . I\ow, that was hardly the cheese "

Aunt Sophia frowned. «i.'u T i lat l s u to , ,1 I'went on, hurriedly, ■ that method oi setting on in lifo didn't Bpneul to tho pnblic." "YeJ?" snid Aunt Sophia, scribbling in lier note-book.

"You see, the idea of democratic -government is government by" the people of tho people, for Iho people. If a Cabinet .Minister makes a mess of his Department, the remedy is perfectly simple. Iho people, who put him into Parliament I? tho ,ir , s ' P 1 ; 10,, ' C!m Put him out again. If ( ymir friend Mr. Buddo " "Charles, I have already told you that ho is not liiy friend. "Oh, yes, of course. Beg pardon! However, if tho Hon. D. Buddo made a mess ot the Department of Internal Affairs—and that contingency is by no means rnmote-tho people, if they had any sense-ami they are coming to th«ir wuses very rapidly now-would simply reject him at tho'poUs. Result, plain Mr Buddo, farmer, of. South Canterbury, being out- of Parliament, could hardly administer the Department of Interna'l Affairs. When tho Hon. R. M'Nab was Minister for lands, he was beaten at the election of 1008. Result, plain Mr. M'Kab retired into private life. Shortly put, tho idea is this-if our Cabinet Ministers do not please us, we can mean -re can dispense with their services. But what arc we to <io with Sir John Geerge m t'# £~ C - K nl ,Sht Commander of tSo Most Distinguished Order of St. Michael and St.- Gcotse, if he doesn't behave him-

/Tut him out," suggested Aunt Sophia, .vindictively. ■'Ah, hut that's just the point-wo tan t pin. him out. Tho Government put him into the Legislative Council in spitn M tho people rejecting him as a candidate for the House of Representatives, and tho Government , can keep him there." • "Good Gracious!" exclaimed Aunt Sophia, despairingly. "What aro wo to do, tnen ? "Well, my dear Aunt,' the only thin" μ-o can do is to kick out tho Government that put him in." "What an extraordinary person this Minister must be," commented Aunt' Sophia, m awestruck tones. "Humph!" I observed. "Listen to this: "'■ mi ' ,J -' llere aT e two kinds of success. Ihere is tho success which comes sis the reward of labour, of work, of discipline, of honour. I mean genuine work, sincere, painstaking, pabent, general labour and diligence. I mean that success which st'irs up admiration, which makes us applaud the successful one, and which even stirs our imitation. That is tho golden kind. Ihero is a baser kind, which etira our indignation. There is that success won sometimes both by base and mean methods, which is aohiWl by falio com, by methods which -■>.*

not genuine, which are not honest. I want to impress on you tho distinction bohveen those two kinds. In a school a lad may secure prizes 'without cheating, . but by somo mean, unfair advantage, somo makeshift, somo short cut in work or sport, which, whilo il' wins, does not deserve the reputation of (jeuuine success.'" "Tho man who uttered that is tho man I would support," exclaimed Aunt Sophia, her eyes kindling. "Who said that? ". 1 grinned. "Our friend tho Knight Commander of St. Michael and St. George," I replied. "Not Sir Johu I'indlay!" exclaimed Aunt , Sophia in horrified accents. "You'ro joking, Charles !•" "Alas! it is too true," I observed, in tho accents of tho lonib. "You see, aunt, when Sir John gets tired of working political oracles, he takes a day or two off, and preaches homilies like tho ono I've just read out to you. Ho onco wrote a book called 'Humbugs and Homilies.' Well—you'vo beard ono of his homilies. As to the humbug, well, perhaps I had better not dwell on that aspect of tho matter." "You havo shown mo quite enough, Charles," remarked Aunt is'ophia with a sapient air. "You don't think our friend Sir John, a political reject', deserves tho reputation of genuine success?" "Certainly not. I should think not, indeed," replied Aunt Sophia, with virtuous emphasis. "But what about his new title, Charles-K.C.M.G. ?" "It's an honourable order, established in 1818, which has latterly come t'o be assignable to any person who has rendered valuable services in either colonial or foreign affairs. 1 may bo short-sighted, but I havo not yet been able to discover f what valuable service enabled Ward's Minister for Justice—not the people's—to qualify for a place in 'ho most Distinguished Order of St. Michael and St. George." "Dear me! It's all very peculiar," observed my aunt, for want of somethingbetter to say. "1 wonder tho people put up with it." "Put up with it!" I exclaimed, irritably. That's the whole tTouble. They see these things going on year after year, and yet, when the election comes round, you can t even get some of them to go to the ballot box, much less attend a political meeting." "They should be compelled to go to the ballot-box," declared Aunt Sophia, .with vehemence. . : "That's what Sir John onco' said," I pointed out. "Sir John !<'indlay?" ' ''Tlio very same gentleman." When did ho say that?" After ho got into the Legislative Ctun-cil-whore, my dear nunt, the votes of tho people don't matter.—Good ni"ht"