THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1043, 4 February 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. (Bi M.C.K.) "What is that?", asked tho stranger. • "That," said the obliging policeman, "is a child." . "He seems different from other children." ■ • '"He is," .said*tho policeman: "Ho has learned tho cause'of wormy apples." ■ "Why .did they let him?" "Because," said tho policeman, "the modern theory is that a child should be turned into a life-long economic force." "Who said so?" "Mr. Fowlds," said tho policeman, "the discoverer of tho theory that a drop in the price of wool is rather" a good tilings than otherwise, sinco it affects only tlio wool kings. - He also established the doctrine that neither the educational nor tho ethical nor tne economic valuo of nature overshadows its aesthetic value." "'Wonderful advantages the modern child,has, to'.bo sure. In my day hardly a single child know that. Is Mr. Fowlds ethical and aesthetic." "Very," said, the policeman. "The D.i'.ko.of Connaught says lie-is a series of .'Higher Thought' booklets in human form." ■ "4ml whero is Mr. Fowlds's farm?" "He lias 110 farm,." .said the policeman. ; "His knowledge of wormy apples is the result of powerful abstract thinking." "Poor children," said tho stranger, . A._ cable''message printed oil Tuesday last, reported, that "M. Simon, the French aviator, rounded up tho cattle while acroplaning on a Texas ranch, and headed off the . animals in. a' manner evoking the 'admiration of a cowboy crowd.' 1 While tho Australian Horse Poets' Union is'holding a meeting to urge the Federal Government :to prohibit the importation of aeroplanes,' we havo accepted .tlie situation, and get in with an up-to-date ballad, in, we hope, the true Australian vein: There was troubla on the station, for the bran'-new. Antoinette Had been lifted in the middle of the night: And the boys wore hot to chasc her, and they bustled, you-can bet, ■ To prepare them, for a lode and rapid . flight. .;

There, was Clancy with his Voisin, there were Smith and Ourly Jack. ' With' their Farmans: all the champions meant- to'go; Then up. and spoke a youngster who had flown from Further Brick On a weedy-looking, pony Bleriot. "Let mo come." ho. said to Clancy, but that kindly-hearted bloke Tried t-o show him that he'd better bid 6 .at home; • . But the lad was disappointed, and with sobs appeared to choke, ; So Olancy said, "Well, sonny,l yer can come.' They whirled away like swallows, and. the thin air. hummed and whirred Through their whiskers as they swoopea and sunk andsoared; .. And r.sw and then a funny, little crackine noise was heard, ' And somebody would tumble overboard. Explosions did for Olancy, Derwent '■ Bill. and Curly Jack— • - • One by ono the daring cracks were forced' to quit; But game and swift and steady went the . youth' from -Further Back— Ho hadn't much experience, but he'd grit! How the Himalayas cchoed to the humming . • of his screw! Through Hull and Rome to Wellington he dashed. How it thundered when hedi&arranged thoweather passing through! . And the. trolly-Ayirqs he grazed on, they flashed!"^'. 4 He found the quarry' racing on the last . straight run to Jfars, And alone and single-handed brought •her back, And Clancy's spirit, watchincr as it soared < beyond the niars, - .Said "Blanky, but :tho -youngster is a crack. ;* This is a Fablo.of .Ingratitude-and-the Point'of Vieiv? "X'raan toofc"ouf of* !his pocket a small Frayed piece of, Newspaper, and read it to a Gathering of tho intelligent Public, tlius:.. "Within two or throe months half the busi-. ness'people in tho country would be insolvent and two-thirds of the men now. in employment would bo out of work. 1 ' One Man, with a shifty Eye and the Sneaky look of thoso who hang on to tho Great, said briefly that il'assey always was a Liar, and nobody believed such Tripe. A second roan, with a red Nose and a Breath, said Wot else could yer Expeck ? Wot progressive country prohibited Beer? The owner of the clipping said Beer was not so Vital as all tliat, and, anyway tho awful Result predicted had 110 reference to tlio prohibition of Beer. "What," he said, turning to another man who looked as Fierce as a small glass of Milk, "what do, you think tho speaker was alluding to as Pregnant with such fearfil Possibilities ?" "Obviously," said tho small' glass of Milk, "to the cutting' down of the Navy Estimates. Nothing else ——"Wrong/" said tho first man, "and what do' You think?" he asked a . fourth Bystander. Socialism, was this person's guess. Another was euro that tho clipping "was a description of tho Aftermath of. an anti-racing law. And so they went' 'on Guessing, but ■thev wore all wrong. "No," said tho Man, "tho speaker was J. Ward, pre-, dieting what would Happen if we tried to earn our own living and not livo on wliat lie can Borrow for us? And Public looked silly.,

Moral: The moral of this story is that if a Primo Minister serves his country too well, tka public may take his beneficence. for granted, and ungratefully worry about.Beer, and Naval . Estimates. "Now, Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, "ye can't call mo a dislay'list, but this here tightcniii' iv th' bon's iv Empire, is bepomin' oppressive. This tight lacin' is affectin' th' Empire's liver. We're bein' boun' so close that yo dinnaw wliero y'are, an' anny day, whin ye go out t' buy th' evenin' meal yo will find yeresiif jostled bo th' Took iv Swampshiro an' th' Nawab iv Blimdherporc at til' point where Lambton Quay intersects th' Mall iv Simla an' liaygint Sthreet. Petono will loso its identity as a suburb iv London. Hammersmith will wake up a parrt i'v Greater Auckland." "Thin Docthor Fin'ly had bctther not make bad worso be goin' Home," said ilr. Hennessy. "Ob, tho Cor'nation must take place. Yo can't put it off. Ho must go. But I wish'they'd case th' pressure. I see be th' pa-apcr that King Georgo has ordhered, as a s'pecial Empirebindin' effort, that Bill Hall-Jones must have a front seat at th' openin' iv Parlvmint. Iv ccors-e, whin Parlymint opens, I'll raymimber, whin I'm wan iv th' ninety-eight sthrap-hangers on th' Miramar car,, that Bill Jones, even though sittin' nox' t' George Reid in th' front row, isn't a bit pushed f'r room. 11l fancy I'll folly him listcnin' t' Lloyd-GeOrpe an' weepin' softly on to th' head iv Will Crooks sittin' oil th' floor onderneath, overcome with emotion. In fancy I'll picture Bill his legs whin Balfour rises t' reply, an' tli' blood iv several generations iv Britons will leap in mo heart. Give Bill Jones elbow-room, an' th' bon's will grow. Tli' less crowded Bill is, tli' tighter will th' Empire be boun' together. If Bill had t' stand number thirty-eight thousand and forrty-eight

ill til' quelle, til' boil's «ud break, ail' mo frincl Jce, with th' approval iv all, wild iinqietlip._^ly VJ i;egotiate f'r annexation Co power 'that had money"t 1 lon'.' That- wild bo turr'blo, but it's near as turr'blo t' have th' bon's dlirawn too tight. I like t' know Bill will have a front seat, but why force th' pace? "Why Can th' Empire stan' the stimuli?"

"At another portion of his speech," said an Auckland paper, "Sir Joseph Ward stated that'he niadc. no apology for putting his views beforo tho public, but ho had never done anything to wound tho personal susceptibilities of any person, no matter what his politics might be." An unreliable report, gives the following as a literal report of tho remarks of Sir Joseph Ward upon this point:—"And I wish here to say ono word upon the stupid, idiotic, baseless, fatuous' "charge' of tho asinine, venomous,. rotten skunks on the Opposition press—their charge, that I have no hesitation in saying is without a particle of foundation or of justification for their saying that tho position we take up, and it. is oil record, there is no justification, for their charge, or tho charge of tho Leader of the Opposition, who wishes us to say that we are in the position that if the credit of tho country is concerned, then I most emphatically say otherwise, and that it is contrary to fact. Now one word as to personalities.' I challenge Mr. Massey, or any other blot, blight, or blackguard, to say that I have ever indulged ill 'personalities; - on the contrary, whrlo my 'friends have been sending out pamphlets which prove that' tho Opposition, and 1 place this on record, since wo are forced to take up tho position ; where, I. repeat, have I ever said so? Tho charge is false, and the skunk who says otherwise, as I havo '-"nonfcdlv said in my references to Tub Dominion, then - everybody will aerec that I was justified in.savins so, and.l will not permit anybodv to sutrgest, without challenging it, I deny it, as I said; so that- it is a. false, foul charge by the worthless person referred to. whom I reed not name, a nor.-on who is beneath contempt-. then I have no hesitation in saying that I at anv rate will refuse to copy , the l.mn-nafn of mr critics. (Loud ' and prolonged applause.)"