A HARD LUCK STORY.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1008, 24 December 1910, Page 13

A HARD LUCK STORY.

BY GYM BAG LEV.

Manuscript reading as follows was found lying opened in Queyedo's room at the' club the day after his sudden and unexpected departure for somewhere.. in South Africa.' When we asked .Maxwell, his closest intimate, why.he-had not even waited to tell any of ■us good-bye, Maxwell hinted at Quevedo's characteristic, deference where .an heiress was concerned. .. A hard luck story, to, obtain an audience, particularly among one's friends, must . be' told,, in the';past tense and the narrator be in',a'.position to act as host and have; his-listeners for guests. Then, while he is buying and they are absorbing, he can-always flavour the appreciation "with , the hard luck that is past. .1 was down' in New Orleans following the ponies—and nbt-'. catching, up- ■ with them—arid I was broke. I did not know anyone in the town; that is, anyone from whom I could mako , 'a .touch. ' Nor would it have lifted my fallen fortunes the fraction of an- inch ' had.'- 'l belonged to . the earae lodge as the'.-Mayor and Common Council and all, the. bank presidents; for I !was- crowded ■with,',one-'.trait' of character that completely dominated an otherwise—as 1 had,'betn. toldr-sunny and' eri--1 gaging personality. I.,was obsessed by a courtesy that always made the feelings, of others my first: consideration.. That . trait prevented me'-from ever asking a faTour, which, no doviVtj was the, reason my'.'friends credited ,me with, a sunny disposition. -1 had a man's share of cour-' age," there . was ■ nothing ■ timid' in my •, make up where 1 stood on an- equality with .others;, but I was never first, through a. doorway, nor could I'stand'.; on the ground and pull a ladder from under another who was; roosting' on the. top. Should I'ever reach the gates of heaven, J"shall not-get in if I have,to disturb Saint Peter, by,-knocking; / : This- somewhat -long-winded personal analysis is necessary to an understanding of. why I was' so helpless in. the emergency/that followed'.my. going broke in New Orleans': '. ■

I Mas squared .up at my hotel'and had a fgood enough front ; .but of ready cash I was .clean, as a'vacuum. My last dime had tipped the .'whiter after a -fifteen-cent-meal, and I was doing some hard thinking, on a Canal Street-corner. If I could only get back to -New York, I, 6h0u13 be all right. I had'resources there ■ which would take care, of me. But it was a long walk and a much longer swim, end, while I was stout of leg and a good ; swimmer, neither "• of.', these methods of . - transportation carried any joy. scenery with it; My meditations were suddenly : jarred -by a slam ron the back. 1 "Hello, bo! How;about you?" .Turning,.l.-took Maxwell's outstretched " hand and replied.- "I don't know yet. '.The jury is still out." , "Bad as that? Got anything good for to-day?" "No, nor for -to-morrow, .nor ■ next • : - I'm ,'dono. with the horses.- . They'ro . too slow for me. Just now I'm headed ' for New-York." "Why, the meeting -isn't half over." < "Ifs'over for me."; . '; : ' Something .in 'my tone nmst have aroused. his suspicions. ; "You're not broke, are you?". : .V-I! grinned.-' "I was'.iust debating when you ; came" up : whether -to go . north by special .train or charter;,a steam yacht.". His suspicions. W6re confirmed. . "What are you doing, kidding me or.-yourself ? Listen here I I've.'got .a .fiTst-class. ticket • on. thc; : boat to ; New York." T raised a hand- in-faint protest. "I cah'C use it. ' Its time limit'will'have-run out before I'm l ,going back.' i : It's :yoursi' oldiiuau.- . and Ttr-will'jsavo yon-the-price,-. ■ and' you'inight-ds'wejl have-jit.iwlt will' ' only be woisted" if somebody doesn't use it." ■He pressed the .ticket- upon 'me. : ' It was-like"mannaifrpm the skies, : although I overlooked one'Det which did not occur .to me until afterward. . The boat" pulled out of the Mississippi late''that afternoon, : just as the kitchen crew were making ready for dinner. Then the' bet I. had overlooked hit ; me. with, . 'literally, .a. sinking at * the stomach. I did have a- cent. ' And I was hungry enough to ,eat angel-. 1 cake made by a bride.' There was .no theory-about this condition' that confronted ihe. ?It';was no particular hardship; for' mo to skin , a meal—l -had skipped'many—but here I was with , almost; a week's voyage before me . and nothing; with which ,to line niy internal econpmy, except". water—that was freehand, .worse .still,, nothing to smoke. I.had heard of folk fasting as a'health fad-or on a bet; but I was too'young'and - full of easily digested 1 life to gather , any nourishment- from. that. v '" \ .Tho".sounds of revelry-from-the .dining saloon-smote unpleasantly on'my ear. I made'a; quick dive into- my state-room. : There,l;spread, out.'oneof.,mygrips and took up.a boqkVto'read. It,.was.-"The Old Curiosity Shop."', I; open. it -at random— where'; Kit and- his motWr land the.baby aro : eating - themselves' to' death. . You' . can . hardly- open : =pickens , anywhere and. not 6id somebody'-eatingi' I. threw the boot' savagely, -in-.'.a^cpnier—somsthing- I had never done to' Dickens before—and' turned-in.. ... : , ■■■' '"He. who sleeps,', dines!' "■ I muttered. 'I,"was.; awakened ; in - the; 'morning by the-, breakfast, bell: vlt\wasn't a. bell; it ;'was -a' : gong.. , Never, yet: had • I Heard 60 ; 'loud and; so Jperaiitent ,a call to , meals/ - Whoever catered: to • that ship's company!, seemed determined .to let.'. no one'- escape. I rolled over, again and tried to . sleep. , .. My. only,'game was to kill.,all the time,possible.. If I'could • only sleep all the way to New York! Whoever it was who said that "He. who deeps, -dines," ;did hot tell the wholo truth. If you - don't' dine, you can't sleep. I got up, dressed -. with' more' leisure and care than I had ever .before bestowed on my outward trappings,. and went on deck. We had now cleared the. gulf and were topping the long swells of the Atlantic. OS to leeward I' Boiw a school of porpoises gamboling'over'the g'rpen. I could not help the thought',' although 1 ■ 6miled at it, "If I,only had'a hook and' line!". I do not'.'know whether "porpoises are ever caught with a linear a net, or whether, if caught, they, are fit to eat ; but just then I would have taken a- chance on the; strangest monster that • wallowed in sea mud . or any other kind of mud. . One of the stewards, a plump and pud-ding-faced • chap, h'ove-to alongside -ar.il cheerfully., remarked,' "Haven't, you' been to breakfast, sir?" ' "A'-. • My .firsf impulse was. to invite him ; to where they- do 'not sail ships, my second to plead seasickness; * but instead I sprung a new one' on him. i'-"I don't eat the food you, prepare on board. Oh, not that your grub isn't all. to the mustard," I.hastened to add," seeing his look of injured astonishment; "but ■I~ am an experiment for a ynedical society. I am living on sea. air?: alone for a week to test its toxic ;properties.- '--We have a. theory that a certain brand of air con- • tains more nutriment:than'beef and potatoes or even pie." . I waved a hand seaward. . "You have. an excellent quality of air around here.. Quito a piquant flavour to it. Is. it always as good as this? I intend to bottlo some of it for use when.l reach port." -The steward gave me a searching look, ttammered something I did not catch, and rolled on his way forward. I wondered if he would tell the captain that I was dangerous and ought to bo put in irons. In that event they would have to feed me with something. : ■ By this time many of my fellow passengers were on deck.' Some of . them we're'; breathing in the; beauties of the •un-kissed day, and - others, were breathing overboard the substantialities of the' breakfast room. : The latter had no use for food. It was, no doubt, first and only time when one envied seasickness in another. I was "a good 6ailor. -The only •effect tho tumble had on mo was to emphasise the hiatus within. Nothing rolled around there. ' The steamer heaved an extra, lurch, and threw into my. protecting -arms a well-fleshed lady, who had assimilated her matutinal chops, rolls, ' and coffee without .any qualms of ' conscience, .or otherwise. ' - "Oh, thank you ever tp much!" she beamed. "There's quite a roll on, isn't tierof" - -'

> Of course she meant the sea roll, not ;' the other kind. [ "Yes, indeed," I replied. "May I assist you to a seat?" 1 Old or middle-aged ladies, already pre- ,! empted or past matrimonial angling, liavo i always been my specialty. When they , aro younger and in the market, my fatal deference prohibits, me from being a bidder. When I had seen my new-found acquaintance comfortably seated under the lea of a deckhouse, she abruptly asked me if I could give her a tip. I had ali ' most, replied that it was not my fault if ; I couldn't, when she saved my embarrassment by adding:. "I have made a wager, a box of gloves, with iuy niece on the day's run. What do you think?" I knew as much about tho probability of tho steamer's speed—although I sincerely hoped it would break all records— as I did about how I was going to keep alive until I reached New York; but I hazarded a guess. That was iuy sole piece of good luck. It earned for me an introduction to the niece. By some strange juxtaposition of figures, I named the exact logging of the vessel for that day, and Aunt was duly, even grateful. It was the following afternoon when I was presented. I came upon them snugly tucked away in an anglo on deck. The niece was a symphony in seashell pink, a ■ day dream of budding' womanhood that made me, for the moment, forget my inte'rnal troubles. . "What a bracing air!" she remarked, , talcing a deep breath as I was invited to a seat beside them. "It gives one such an appetite, doesn't it?" t '"It does indeed," I replied in hollow tones;' at least, I imagined they must sound hollow. , This reference to the tonic properties of the ocean's ozone started Aunt racing on her pet hobby. Sho was a bug on cooking., "Do .you like canvasback duck?", she. asked, turning to me, and, without giving me time for reply, "And planked steak with all the vegetable .fixings? I think they aro perfectly delicious," she paused impressively, "when properly cooked." I. was on the point of interjecting that a week-old hunk of indifferent bread would fill a long-felt void; but- checked myself in time. . From a fold of -her wrap she brought forth a box of chocolates, opened it, and passed the confections to her niece with the remark,; "It's too bad you men never eat sweetmeats. You don't know what you miss."- . I eyed tho chocolates with the hungry glare of a wolf. "Yes, it is too bad. Maybe sometime . we'll know better." Then, as Aunt threatened to fill away on another cooking tack,'l blanketed her wind by nodding. toward a book in the' symphony's lap and asking, "What are you reading ?" Sho took up the book and held it out to me: " 'Bread and Cheese and Kisses.' I think it's perfectly lovely. Would you like to have it ?." I "I could eat it up," I retorted. Aunt stared at me in somewhat shocked I 'hastily ran to apologetic cover to hide my contusion. "I beg your pardon humbly. Inexcusable of mo, indeed! It's rarclys I can assure you, that I so far forget myself as to break out in slang before" ladies," The niece's pretty face dimpled itself into a radiant smile. ""Oh, I just love' slang! Charley'talks to mb the same as 'he does to the boys at his club.* You know he does," to her aunt, who had lifted her hands .in horrified disclaim. "When ho doesn't: want mo to bother him, lie tells me to beat it, and I know what he means. At dinner he says' wo .are going, to .hit the.-'eats. "-Yoii knoW f what that is, don't you : •• ' '-I murmured that 1 1 h'id'''lvn6wn' l what" it was—sometime ago. And there was a Charley! Somehow tho knowledge of :Charley acted as a counter-irritant to the vacuum inside ran

"Charley has his. failings," rippled on tho symphony y "but he's a dear. His ono absorbing passion is the making of welsh rabbits. When you meet him,- he'll insist on making you one.. But take warning from a victim. Tell him your physician has positively forbidden you to' eat cheese. It's tho only escape. That's tho only excuse Charley will accept." Here my feelings toward . Charley underwent some modification.

When I tumbled out of my berth late the next, day I Stood up tentatively. I was not quite stiro that my legs would carry .me; but;l did not feel any perceptible . weakness. In fact, I was not so hungry as I had been.- I was becoming acclimated to the situation, as it v?re; although, had it JoVne my way, I could' have" given any' gastronomic proposition an awful battle.

As I reached the deck I saw Charley. He was standing behind the. symphony's chair, with one hand on her shoulder and the other-toying with a bronze curl that the wind , had caused to wander from' its moorings. She seemed to resent this familiarity, as she pulled her head away and slapped his hand—coquettishly, of course. Aunt was • nowhere 'in tho offing.' ■ !( "A. case of three's* a crowd," I thought, "and certainly no place for me." . I was' about to return below when she sighted me and beckoned. As I, brought up alongside, she said: "Mr. Quevedo, this is Charley." We shook hands; somewhat stiffly on my part, with boyish warmth on his. And as I got a closer view of him I saw. that he was hardly more than a boy, although quite as tall and broad as myself.

"My sister lias been telling me about you,"' lie said. "And what a sharp you are calling tho turn on the ship's run! Aunt stung Sis for a box of mitts on' your tip. You might declare a fellow in, you know, on to-morrow's pool. I've lost every time. If you do, I'll make you a welsh " "Charley," broke in his sister, "stop babbling about your culinary accomplishments. Mr. Quevedo is a medical experiment. Ho doesn't eat tho food of mortals." Sho looked up at me 1 with laughing eyes. "Isn't that it? Ono of the stewards told us." ■ __I laughed-something like they do on tho stage—in order to dodgo a reply Did sho .suspect the truth? But I promptly dismissed this disquieting thought as impossible. How could she' And tho fact that Charley was only her brother made me forget all my other troubles. I determined there and then to make a chum of Charlev. It W as probable that Charley . smoked. Tho squelching his sister gave him hid onlv a momentary effect. He had other obsessions besides welsh rabbits. But as I regretfully found out later, smoking was not ono of them. Ho turned to inn abruptly. ■ "Say, old man, you're a. fan, aren't you i' - "Meaning in what direction?" "Baseball, of course. I'm ono of the chief rooters for tho Giants. They'll kick m for the old rag this year, won't they? I think its a moral pipe. It's liko eating pie with a knife. That's tho wav ball, players eat-it; but we can't." I admitted that eating anything with a knife had its social ban; but confessed that I would not hesitate to try tho experiment in some secluded nook. "I suppose wo are all savages, and sosial usage is merely a veneer " "Wait a minute, Sis" tore in her brother. I could have throttled the cub for his rudeness; but then brothers have c»r tain privileges. "I have got a problem for Mr. Quevcdo. How many consecutivo baso hits can a team gather without a score ?" "Six." "You'ro crazy. I Beg pardon. I mean you're mistaken. I can get five. You can't get any more than that." I smiled with tho superciliousness of superior knowledge, but said nothing. "I'll bet you a dinner," lie blurted forth with boyish heat, "that you can't name more than five!" I could' hear tho subdued rattle of dishes in tho saloon. In a few minutes tho passengers would bo piped to dinner. My internal economj' cried out with a wild, high hope. In an amateurish way I. had dabbled in sleight of hand, nnd visions of what I could do to tho surrounding viands for future reference, in addition to tho present surfeit, blotted out for tho moment even the-symphony beside me in the 6teamer chair, Do not

tliiuk mo gross, you who may read this, for this admission.' 1 hnvo heard talcs ol' living on love ulono; but I liavo never seen them accompanied by any affidavits. "You're 0n,." 1 said quietly. "Charley, 1 hoyo yon lose." "All riijlit, His. Let him liamo, the six hits, and I'll buy tlio dinners. I'll buy two dinners. And oven if you aro rooting against nie, I'll include you in the layout—if Mr. Qubvedo' is willing." "More than willing," I hastened to assure him.' "I should not inako the bet if your sister was not included, and your aunt also." Ho nodded. "Aunty goes." "Well then, here you are. First man up singles and is thrown out at second. Second man' up, ditto. Next three men single and fill the bases. Five snfo hits and two out. Sixth man hits a runner with a batted ball. Runner is out in consequenco and the hatter is credited with a baso hit. Six hits, three out, and no score. Get it?" 110 toot his card from a case and handed it to.me. "You win. We'llmcet you at Sherry's, six o'clock, the day following our landing. And we'll have a dinner that will make tho waiters sit up and take notice. You can't get anything fit to eat on board this old hooker." I paused for a moment on my way. below, with one hand on the companion rail. Again I could hear the subdued rattle of dishes in the dining saloon. But this time they were , taking them away. I managed to stick it out—and look pleasant—until we raised the skylino of New York. And never had that skyline looked so inviting, so hospitable, as it did just then. I kept staring at it, even hungrily;-when I was aioused by a gentle tap on the shoulder. "Your ticket, please." 'It was tho purser. By some peculiar rule of the steamship company, they did not collect the passenger tickets until they neaied port'. I dug into my breast pocket and handed: him mine. He looked at it curiously ' and then with equal curiosity at me. "Why, this ticket isn't punched!" he exclaimed.

I got a chill down to my toes. What was lup against now? What was wrong with the ticket? Could it, be. that it was void? Had Maxwell played a trick on me? If so, they would not allow me to land, would carry me back to New Orleans. Never! I cast a furtive glance toward! the rail with a desperate resolve to spring overboard and swim for it. "With a jerk I pulled my scattered self together and pried loose my stiffening tongue.

"Wha —what—what do you mean by not being punched?" "Why," replied-the purser, scratching under his cap with a* puzzled air, "I can't understand why the steward hasn't punched it each day. This first-class ticket is good for every meal and all the extras during the trip/'