THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 846, 18 June 1910, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. :<bt m.cx) • ' According to a cable message printed i>n Monday, Lord Phuikot has informed !i Sydney interviower that NewZea- . landers "resemble the very best stock lit Homo." Wo niusVwait until next ivook to learn , whether this should bo a Poultry Note' or an item for tie Kon- , jiel Column. "' As quoted by The Dominion, the Shanghai correspondent of the London "Times" gives an account of Governjnent press pblioy in China that suggests that Sir Joseph Ward Las adopted the principle of his boycott policy from •the Taotai of Shanghai. ' : ■■'_,'■'. .Which tho same I could cry '.' ' When I hears as Sir Joo : learned the trick from Shanghai ■-'■ Without telling us so—Hβ has played as his own tho right-bower ■ ,■■"■ of a dog-goned Taotai, .' Which air certainly low. !..'■ "Now I freely allow," -..-■ So Isez to Bill.Nyc, '■ . "As. this long-headed Chow ~■■'.' Knocks Sir Joe's critics sUjf-high: ■But how about leading the van, . ':'. of you, how? I awaits your reply.' ' .."Which Sir Joe I don't blame When he plays every card •, . He can work in tho game, And no gent, should.be barred From using a Chinese- or any risht-bowcr— . - . . the same V Air correct, Bill, old para. . -"Nor doth" reason exist ;' Why; - when' playing the same, ■ We 6hould loudly insist ;■■•:. As Sir Joe should proclaim flpto whom he's indebted for giving him such a strong fist: Bill, I m'akesno such claim. . j '.'But .1 nps to protest I As it gives mo a pain That this Land of the Blest ■ . Should,. to put it right plain, \ .Owe to Chinese cheap notions tho fact that it leads all tho rest: • . ' Such a triumph air vain.. ■ ' . "Is Honour a jest? ■ . Hath' Truth long gone by? ~ I , Air Pride and the rest : .Of them subjects a lie? This notion, wo knows, comes from- Ghin% — I ask, does the rest Also spring from Shanghai?: : "Hence no matter how high ,1 will joy not, but sieli : A sarcastic 'WhaH'or?' -£And I won't give a.; dump how we lead; my old pride, William JTye, Iβ not any more."-.

There can bo no longer any doubt *bout it. Officialism is becoming democratised. Bureaucracy is using the 'language of Bill and Jim. Of course, !one hesitates to plump out a judgment j until it is perfectly safe to do so. The ifinalprobf was supplied last week, when the General Manager of Railways, proimising a Shannon deputation all sorts of good things .in the shape of-,sheep yards and new coats of paint-, observed ./that these improvements had been already decided upon. "Wo don't airways wait,"/h'o .added, "for .people to ■sing out." It is only the 1 other day that Sir Joseph;. Ward .said that Mr. Massey.had "Buckley'schance , ! of getting into.office. , A few. days, later,;. Mr. IT. Mackenzie said,'apropos of I don't; .remember- wnat,- and of ■ nobody cares jwhat, that "they have been whipping 'the cat ever since"l got into office." [•Wo aro waiting daily: to be , asked, by iindignant subscribers to mention :tlio i receipt : of such letters as the follow-, ling:—' . ' .'.'■" Prime Minister's .Office. 261 PQ ,91E) BLR 16abc. Dear Sir,--7 As.to yours jof the'Bth inst., I have the honour to |say 'Rats!' 'I am full up of your at-, tempts to pull my leg. What's your ;game, anyhow? I have thehonoui-to •be, etc." ■ ;

"891. . Fol. 36,669,191.. B.Z.N.Q. ; 21J. \ Department of Lands. Dear (Sir,—l am instructed to say that it's i'jusb about up to you to fork out your, ■rent, or you'll'get- what for. It's no mse raising Cain and Willy Edley about lit; you haven't a blooming earthly. [Fair dinkum,' you haven't. ' Ajid'you'd ibetter tumblo to' that frozen truth or (take the knock. You are blown-out.. jXhave, etc., etc." - ..:■'-■

f Mr. Salmond, Solicitor-General, deali ing with the suggestion that perfumery ;■' ■" containing a certain percentage of spirit " '■'. nought not to 1)6 sold in No-License districts, said that the prohibition was 1 only concerned with liquor intended for- ■ • use as a drink. . \ "If that were not so," said the Soli- . citoY-General, "methylated spirits, or ■even varnish,, could not legally bo sold in a No-License district. I presume that a man could drink enough varnish .-. io intoxicate himself!" (Laughter). . ■ Tho Cliief' Justice remarked that eau . .' '. Jdo cologne was sometimes used as a ; drink. : Mr. Salmond: If can do cologne-.is r ,eold for drinking purposes, then it is Tho same might apply to . lother perfumery. ' Mr. Skcrrett: You might sell whisky :. as perfumery. (Laughter.) ; - Tho. Chief Justice: lam afraid a ! Scotchman would think that that was : degrading his national beverage ■' ■■ l(Laughter.) Mr. Salmond: I believe a Scotchman .'likes tho smell of it, but I don't think |that he could ever be accused of using jit as perfumery. (Laughter.) '■■ LKae doot, ma lord and gentlemen, JYe thocht tae please tho buddies when ; pfe took a bittio hoor tae speu' ■ In bloth'rin : there: : lYe thocht tao brew a, hertsomo blen' \A lauch, I dare, ran roun' the room , When Sawmon , tried tao cheer tho^Rloom; 3Te felt 'twas wrut, sao I presume— ; A Bonsy play . , . Tae triflo wi'. the Bran' pairfumo l" 0' usqucbao i "i ;.;.. —John Barleycorn. I cravo thy trraco fFor tellin' fhee o . Bio a. case: 'Theso. callante kent na tho disgrace I They did tao theo In flanntin' in thy glorious faco -.-■ Pairfumery.— ; Jbere are wha. drink tho vairai-sh doon, Or lap thowatter o' Coloon, I'And roony a. raplock ta-wpio loon Will. , ca , divine Oauld kairosenc, or eet abuno Theo turpentine. . - .And saa yo think 'tis fine tao Bay That sccntiee arc like UEQuebae: '.Wcel, wcel, 'tis juist your Southron way, ■ And I'll forgic; ' \ ' ißut, losh! tho frrusomo hurt yo dao Tho barley breo. tMak' gamo o' Church, o' King, o' Law., JHa lord, for yon's a lawful splore, kßut there's ao thins abuno them' a' ' ' On ouy day: : ('Blind levity a, lino maun draw At 'iistjuebae.

"You find a -very different kind of audience at such meetings in England from thofo in Now Zealand," continued Jtr. M'Nab. "You eas say almost anything dcroEatory to Britain,'and the autlieuco will tako it unmoved. I used to say at my meetings there that I could fi ay things to them without interruption, that I would have my head punched for saying to a New Zealand audience."-

"It seems clare, Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, "that me friud Joo ought V lose no time in olfcrin' t' include Great Britain amongst t-h' Cook an' other islands. . Bob M'Nab hints it .pretty plain." "Bocuz a confidence gang thried to rob Bob iv tuppence?" asked Mr. Hennessy. > ; '. "No, Jawn. Bccuz Britain didn't rise up an' hand Bob wan whin ho tol' thim that they wuz low an' rotten. 'Twas turr'ble thryin , t . Bob. 'Ladies,' ho says t' th' mcctin' that rolled up t' hear him, 'an gintlemin,•■ y'are,' he says, 'rotten,' says he, an' he pauses. 'Rotten t 1 th' core. Th' hair iv yoro women is false, ■ an' it's a. sickenin' colour an' their shape is pool , an' they wud not bo tol'rated,' ho say's, 'in Noo Zayland,' ho says. Th' aujienco showed no sign iv life, an' remained still as th' grave savo f'r two or three old gintlemin iii th' 'front who began t' snore. 'Wako up,' says M'Nab, '1 adjuro ye, Britain, t' wako up,' ho says, 'or ye will become,' says he, 'defunct,' he says. 'Wake up, ye bald-headed, bandy-legged, thick-headed,' half-starved, knock-kneed, fat-witted, pigeon-brehsted, round-shouldhered, cross-eyed, snubnosed, ily-blowu natives, or,' he says, 'remain f'r ever fallen as,' says he, 'th' pote Bracken says,' he says. (Loud snores.) 'I call on ye,' ho says, 'degenerate idiots,' he says, 't' reeliso that th' Empire is in per'l. R-eelise,' ho says, 'that th' Gerrmau is at ycro gates.' (Prolonged snores.) 'Englan',' ho shouts, 'is rotten t' th' core,' ho says, 'an' 'tis me pride an' pleasure t' auuounco that disgustin' fac'. -Blast me eyes,' he says, 'y'are dh.riftin' t'ords disaster, an , ar-ro disgracin' ycro chiklhren oversea,' he'says. Dhrinkin , a glass iv water, an' addhrcssin' th' old fellow in. th' front row who is th' only member iv th' aujience. who is not asleep, he says, 'As a number,' ho says, 'iv th' gr-reat an' loyal Dominion iv Noo Zayland, I appeal t' yo t' throw a vegetable marrow at me,'. ho says, 't' show y'are not utterly, lost. -An onion wud be betther thin nothin'. Throw but wan peanut an',' ho says, 'I will feel that th' spirit iv Englan' is not totally dead an' gone. I appeal t' ye,' ho says, raisin , his voice t' get above th' teinpestchuso .snoriii', T appeal,t' ye hopeless people that do nawtln'n' f'r th' Empire iv which we ar-ro a parrt oxcep' defend iV-a palthry, mechanical thing,' ho says. . An'. th' ould man in. th' front row falls asleep, an' me frind Bob comes.away with terror at his hearrt." "Bob cudn't say that in th' Town Hall an' live," said Mr.. Hennessy. "Ho cud 'not. But we have this advantage, an , remeinberm' it I can find excuses f'r poor old Englan', aren't bothered with buildin' navies. We have time" t' ■ cultivate a proud an' loyal spirit.". ' . . .