THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 834, 4 June 1910, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. (By M.C.K.) "A: seventeen-year-old peasant girl 6.t Zazharova, Tomsk," says a cable message, "becoming enraged at her ■uncle taunting her with . flightiness, killed her twenty-year-old brother with !an axe, broke her mother's spine and cut off her arms, and grievously wounded her uncle. She was finally arrested when she was assaulting her aunt." That is the weakness of women: they never know the point at •nhich legitimate resentment becomes .wanton contumacy.

"The imports and exports of the Dominion," said 'his. Excellency at the iarowell meeting on' Wednesday, "have,, during my term of office, increased by i£7,296,000, and now stand at the enormous total of £35,336,000." We had better warn his Excellency that this is thin ice. He had better wait until ifche very, very last minute before using *that- other little, phrase .tliat has screamed in his bosom for utterance for six long, discreet yeaTS, namely, ithat "I have no hesitation in saying *h3t we .will- not be deterred by the ■croakers from taking up the ■ position .ithat *.we stall refuse to say;. if,, I say, rwo* are placed in such a position, I .repeat it,, if :we are- to ho. put in the iposition that-we have decided we: shall inot occupy, and which is not,;whatlever they say, then I affirm, without fear of contradiction, as ought to be (admitted if vth'ey are fair,' that our iobject is to take up the stand of actting in the best interests of'the people of the Dominion as a whole.".

"Holiday Confusion—Hon. D. Buddo at Work." These were notable head-Qines-in the .evening paper one day this twenk.' That is the worst of confusion: it always causes, these funny results.

"The game of football," said a local *lergyman last Sunday, "resembles tho game of life," and he preached a very ■good sermon on this;.text. But what •iis even more wortHy 'of note is the iway in which the game of life rcsem-. Wes and differs from the game of footibailK '.-■ The player, aftej- a slow graduation, gets into the senior team at the, age of 21, and walks oh to the field* Slad ;in the jersey of ideals, and armoured with the shin-pads of grit and the heavy boots of hustle. Trained to believe that he'knows the rules and . that everybody is as honest as he is, ihe kicks off, and in two seconds is disagreeably surprised to discover, not only that; his kick is smothered, but that he ought to have worn .shin-pads ..on his solar plexus. Then the difference between life and football shows itself. Instead of waiting until he rejcovers consciousness, as is the case under the. Rugby rules, the other players are'hard at work, carrying the game all over the field,' and all over our prostrate novice should he happen to. be in-the way.. Crawling to the touchSine, he thinks hard, and goes into the game again;with; a.new idea, which Shows. itself, in a hardening ,of; his jawmuscles and a thinning-of his;hyacinthine locks. He-soon* has'the satisfac-". tion-of feeling; his'boot crash into the ; short ribs of somebody else, and de-\ : riving fresh strength from it, he pursues.;, the ball once more. The referee, iwho;is "Law-and-Order," does not seemA .nearly so terrible a. fellow as he looks. (Some things he almost always sees, Kind every moment somebody is prjdered. off,. but the game does not •iflag. If the boots of the novice no longer—are hard enough and' "heavy enough, it is unnecessary to try any of the "points" that the referee watches for: There are 7600 rules that can be broken with perfect impunity. Perhaps the player stops to lift' a tvounded enemy or friend,' but the reward is sometimes an upper-cut and. lost .ground. He scores try after try, kicks goal after goal, and finally grows very weary. ■■ His jersey is torn and stained. ■. He totters along. The ball seems heavy and futile and no longer worth chasing., .And at last he leaves the field, hoping perhaps that "his name may appear in the paper. And the game .goes right on and nobody misses him.

"Well, Jawiij I niver did feel aisy in me mind over th' Univerrsity," said Mt. Dooley. "What is this here row about?" , asked Mr. Hennessy. ■ "I'm not dare, Jawn. But whin th' iprofissors tell me things is cornip'-.an.' "th' Senate a fraud, an' th' Univerrsity little more thin a swindle, that's enough f'r : nie. 'Whether 'tis that th' dhrains ;is bad, or that th' Senate, spen's on ►smoke concerrts th' money raised' f'r th' re-paintin' iv th' wes' wing, or thatJoe Warrd doesn't marrk th- exam'riatio'n papers fair, is what I can't quite make. out. Hogan tells me he wint t' th'»meetin', an' wax annoyed be th' fac' that th' lady gradjooate in front iv him kep' her hat on. 'Ma'am,' ho •says, 'mid yer kindly lift down ■ th' millinery on yere nut? Long study •has made me,' he says, 'irritable,' says 'he. She turrned an' glared, an' he found it was' his cousin,. th' wifo iv Bloggs .iv th' Bottle-washers' Union. An' Hogan collapsed. 'Feller gradjooates an' enthusiasts,' says th' Prolissor, 'we havo come t' yo because we ar-re weary of thryin' t' impress th' vulgar illiterates iv th' Senate. Th' TJnjverreity,' he says, 'is rotten t'th' oore, an' we want t' uproot it. Ar-re ye aware, , ' he says, 'that t' pass a .degree jjo need do nothin' but answer th , quisitions. (Loud cries iv 'Shame.') : Th' ink suppEed be th' Senate is muddy an' th' pens sputther. Our lives is lonely: we are throated with .disrespecV Ye may not believe me,' he says, 'but 'tis a fac',' says he, 'that we're thieated as if we were only, profissors.' (Sensation.) 'They require us t' teach. I ask ye t' think iv that.. Can ye wondher, can this highly cultivated aujience fail t' wondher, that th' Univerrsity's gone t' th' dogs, and is alone raysponsible f'r th' failure iv th' railways t' pay an' th' increase iv ■fch' public debt, th' onemployed am' th' current depression? Wance,' he says, 'wance.th' Univorrsity' was held 'in high honour, but since we kem here 'tis sunk t' a point several degrees lower in th' public estimation thin ponyracin'.' Now, Jawn, that's tumble if thrue. There was a time, Hogan tells me, whin a Univerrsity man wuz looked on with ondesorved rayspect. In this more intelligent age, a Univerrsity degree is recognised as nawthin' but a sorrt of endorsed liceiiso. But th'- profissors will change this, an' with th' aid iv th' Butchers' Union an' th' Shopkeepers' ' Association , they will raise th' Univerrsity degree t' th' position iv a .certificate that th' young man thinks a lot iv th' prof. Hogan thinks, th' democracy don't know enough t' settle th' quistion, but Hogan is no demmycrnt. Instead iv doin' his jooty, which is t' think f'r himself, lie leaves th' clergy t' decide abont th' Joe Nine Gospels. Ho is content t' let.other people settle th' problems iv big gun consthruction. I, Jawn, I

agree with mo colleagues, the barrowmen and tho profissors, that wo must root up th' Univerrsity." "What do th' Profissors suggest?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "I dinnaw that wo ndr.i —mo an th Profs.'—at annytHin' but rootin'-up fr a starrt. Whin we become botthor known, we'll think out our policy."

Tho. following is the official report of the public meeting which is to be held in Auckland to condemn the tone of tho letter which Mr. Gunson wrote to the Wellington Chamber of Commerce: The chairman dwelt at length upon the disgust of the Auckland people when the letter was made public. He then called on Mr. Gunson to explain his position. Mr. Gunson read extracts from his ■letter, and asked how, in tho circumstances, they could be improved upon. The Auckland attitude had been accurately reflected. (Loud cries of "Eotl") It was all very well-for loud-mouthed., irresponsible, epileptic imbeciles to say "Rot!" but let it be shown where improvement was possible. Even the Auckland newspapers had nothing better to show. The editors of the Auckland papers interrupted amidst great disorder. They could not tolerate such a slur upon journals which were very jealous of the city's honour. A discussion ensued, in the course of : which'it'was pointed but that Mr. Gunson had spoken of Wellington's "accredited representatives" instead of representatives":; of Wellington's "set-back" when'.' he should have said "fraudulent bankruptcy and utter ruin" ; of Wellington's '.'jealousy and selfishness," whero • "malevolence and beastly meanness" was obviously the right phrase; of. "grave lack of alertness". on tho part of Wellington instead of "hoegish stupor." Other examples of weakness were cited, and it was urged, een<?r.illy, that the ■ letter was utterlv insipid .and anything but what Auckland could regard as. a proper epistle. ' . •■'•••' Mr. Gunson contended that- he had unheld Auckland's reputation. The WMlhictrm Chamber itself, he nointod nut.' admitted that the letter was "full of distortions, misiepresentations, charges, incivilities, and insinuations." (Loud laughter.) Anyway, that showed that ho had in some, measure upheld tho honour of .Auckland. . The Mayor, asked the audience to remember -that.Mr. . Gunson :,had. been working very hard lately for Auckland, :and' the mildnes? of his letter.was in pjrt due to ■exhaustion and weariness. '. Tho: 'meeting, however;-.passed a resolution::calling on Mr.' Gunson to resign fronrthe presidency of the Chamber' of Commerce*,.