TOLSTOY'S OLD AGE CONFESSION.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 804, 29 April 1910, Page 6

TOLSTOY'S OLD AGE CONFESSION.

PREPARATION FOB A NEW LIFE.

In the French journal, "J© Sais Tout, Count Tolstoy publishes an "Old Age. Confession," which in simplicity and strength of expression is not' a whit behind the most remarkable utterances of his early years. ■ "I f eel)" says tie venerable sage, how every interest, not only in niy own joys and sorrows, but also in'the happiness of my people and in the well-being of humanity, is slowly and irresistibly dying. I can no longer, as m past years, devote myself to defend the common weal. I cannot any longer be enthusiastic for the need, of instruction, in schools, or fight against the spread of poverty. It would almost appear to me as though I were becoming more indifferent to ;th© question whether or not we can realise the Kingdom of God amongst us. ' "As soon as I became certain of this change in my psychological condition I began to consider the reason for the change, and this is the conclusion I arrived at: In the course of every man's spiritual and moral development bo passes through three phases. I am at present an the third phase. In the first phase a man lives only for himself, for his' passions, for his desires. He only thinks of eating and drinking, of enjoying, of fame an honour. Until I was forty, until my first white hair appeared, this was what I' was like. There are others who leave this period quicker behind them. "When I got so far I began to' think of the happiness of my neighbours or the happiness of mankind. My main work began with the creation of primary schools, an idea to which 1 felt inclined even in my first period of egotism.- My religious feelings, in my second period, culminated in my search after the happiness of this world, after a road, after a way which would kad to the estahlishmemt of God's Kingdom here on earth. Even this longing I now feel dying within me. _ "When I oonsider my present position I find, that I am resting on quite another basis. It is no longer a striving after moral perfection ; it is something quite different—it is a longing after Divine purity which drives me on. I feel clearly that this longing, which has replaced all others, makes rich my life in as complete a way as the longings of my early stages. And as I began to feel the weakening of my earlier desire to benefit humanity at large a kind of terror seized hold of me, as though I found myself on the edge of a vast desert. But my longing after a new lifo, and my effort of preparation for a new life has now finally taken the place of my. earlior condition. And it is just this preparation for a now lifo which makes me feel that I am at the same timo obtaining the object of my earlier longings—the happiness of mankind. In seeking to reach forward to God, in seeking in God the Divine principle, I realise the happiness of all, and my own special happiness. And all t'nis goes on without haste, without ceasing, with a quiet spirit and full of exulting jpx." j