THE STAY-AT-HOME WIFE.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 787, 9 April 1910, Page 11

THE STAY-AT-HOME WIFE.

IS SHE WISE? There are two kinds of stay-at-home wives. They need differentiation. The one may be called the house monse, the other the house swallow. If we think of tho relative lives of the mouse and the swallow we have a mental picture of the typos of woman. The mouse, nervous, timid, flies from all intercourse with the world outside its hole; its whole care seems to be confined to the providing of.food for itself and its family. The swallow, on the other hand, is equally as much a home provider as the mouse, but it keeps in touch with the big world about it, and lets other objects come into its life besides its search for food. Even when housewifery and maternal cares shut the swallow off from visiting, it never means the narrow'isolation of the little creature with the peering .eyes and the dark homo.

The woman who emulates the swallow mal f s the ideal wife. She brings the world to her home'instead of deserting home to follow the, world. Where she {?, f° u nd she cannot be improved upon, one is one' of the women who combine Drains, contentment, sympathy, the sense of companionship, a broad outlook, and a love for home. Such a woman has always been too rare. She is becoming rarer. Still, the rush of modern life has not drawn her altogether into the social maelstrom. In' spite "of club, restaurant, and theatre, she still forms the nucleus of many a happy circle. Perhaps her most notablo characteristic is that she. does not seem to know that housekeeping cares exist, w- u* tl] ere is a "servant question." Her husband will bo generally, sorry when he has to dine out; her daughters are keen to bring home the latest magazines and novel; and her son, even in these days of independence, has been known to defer a business deal until he can talk it over' with her. She is a stay-at-home wife, but few, I think, will .question her wisdom, or say she could improve matters for herself and °l,, s by adopting tho up-to-date cry of, 'I am really never at home." Let us turn now to the mouse woman—the common or garden species of the stay-at-home wife. She is often described by her husband as "the best woman under, the sun." The description ;is not. an exaggeration from certain points of .view. She knows the spending power of a shilling to the farthing, she knows the capacity of a joint of meat to an ounce,, and she has intimate' and' practical knowledge of ..all the servants'-delinquencies; her furniture:in.its polish rivals :her plategjass mirror; no professed bacteriologist is so deadly an enemy of microbes dust as she J she has a "small dress-, maker" for her gowns and alterations; her children, have never been seen with soiled fingers.or garments; and — crowning virtue—she is' indifferent to the frequent "notices", of her cook, since she always superintends the preparation of tho. meals herself. In a word, all is order, cleanliness, , and method under her survey. Her husband is quite sincere in his praise of | her. She is all that he has been taught to admire and respect in womankind—a good cook, a good manager, with an unerring eye for missing buttons and holes in socks. Yet it is curious, with all -her perfections, that he is careful to give her, as little of his company as possible. Ho'- leaves homo in the morning the moment he has swallowed his last, mouthful 'of a breakfast taken in 'silence,.and he is an excuse which will keep him outof : an evening. By degrees his wife becomes so associated with tho word "house" that ho no more thinks of conferring with her than with one of the articles of furniture.. As the years go on' he and she grow more and more apart in spirit. A pall of dullness! falls over everything, but the excellent manager never never sees it. A- spotlessly-clean house has become to her the one desirable possession,'and she only feels' slighted and ,heglected' when her husband and children do not share her idea of Paradise.

The young wife particularly should guard against the stay-at-homeness which means a losing of interest in the world outside the house. As she starts in the first few years of-married life, so shall she go,on. There is a kind of .holy selfishness that,' with some women, needs as •much cultivation as selfishness does in- others. 'It is a duty of a woman to think'of her own clothes, her own ease, her own amusement. ,'. If .she neglect therri 'she will .'be"'allowed .. to neglect them. A' husband, she'may be , assured, unless he is encouraged, will seldom prove a. fillip in regard'to her dress and amusement. She ought to regard a share in the world's interests and. amusements as a right, not as a compliment to be conferred by a benevo-, lent master. ' Let the woman who bicycles, . rinks ' or dances before marriage keep it up aftereven when a family has grown up about her. Let her keep up her subscription to her club.. Let her go now and again to the theatre. Let her find time to read the morning papers and some of the ...weeklies. Let her do anything rather than that the years should find her becoming greyer, and duller—a dead spirit, with. a house as mausoleum. All this may seem somewhat superfluous .warning at a-time when the decay. ..of home life'and the rush for amusement'make the-two most noticeable tendencies. But we all know that surface things are . ever' the most apparent;: and .so with the noises and eddies on the stream of life—beneath lies the solid supporting area of the home—especially the home which has to be kept going' on a small income. If we tarn to statistics, it is amazing to find how small is the proportion of incomes, of even £500 a year. The majority of wives, therefore, have to make the home their kingdom—they have to contrive and manage and make ends meet there. It is hardly to be wondered at if it becomes at last their' sole their sole interest; that as the ; years go on they become narrower m their estimates of men and thingß, and that .life's tremendous lessons, always take on for them a mere personal appeal - But what a mistake it is, and how •jji • wom en themselves! When middle age comes thev recogrriee there is something wrong—they become tied mentally and physically; yet no one has any sympathy with them. They have been so long in a groove that everyone takes their work bb a matter of course, .there gradually grows np in their hearts a feeling of being ignored and of being badly treated. And as the grievance increases they become' irritable and nagging, an d that means the end. Had they, kept more in touch with things had they from tha beginning refused to be continual stay-at-homes! had they given their hands and feet a little more rest and their brains a little more work, their right to a share in the outside things would be recognised and their individuality be respected. We are always taken at our estimation, and the mere housekeeper will be AT 6 *!'' aS a mere honsG ' J eepor.—"Daily