THE OCEAN'S ROAR.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 783, 5 April 1910, Page 6

THE OCEAN'S ROAR.

"MUM'S" HOLIDAY: AN EASTER IDYLL.

(B? Wi.) Time—Easter, 1910. Dramatis personnae-Dad, Mum, Erny, George, Myrtle, Ivy, Bubsey, and various members of the general pnbhe. ■ . / Scene 1. The afore-named dramatis personnae are discovered seated at the breakfast table, in tho kitchen. • : - Myrtle (inarticulately): "We goin , out to-day, Mum?" Mum (vigorously- dabbing Bubsey's jarnmy mouth with a cloth, an unpopular operation with Budsey): "I dunno" —(dab, dab)—"there y , ' go again"— (dab, dab)—"speaMn' with yer mouth full." Bubsey struggles ferociously, but vainly, emitting indignant protests the while. Mum looks at Dad. "What's it goin' to be? Ye'd better take 'em epmew'erel" ' ' .

Dad reaches up to the mantelpiece for his tobacco, abstracts his pipe from his waistcoat pocket, and proceeds with great deliberation to "oai-up" from a villainous-looking plug. "Case uv 'ave to, I s'pose, bein , Easter Monday.' Wouldn't- mind stoppin' home ' and bavin' a good fat loaf, all the same," he observes, by way of preamble. , Erny. (with the air of one who has just received an inspiration): "Have one at the bay." Dad: "You'll have ono at home, if ye re too sudden.", (Collapse of Erny.) A discreet silence prevails, during which Dad goes to the back-door to liave a squint at the weather'' Ivy (hopefully): "We could'wash up and get ready, Mum." ■ . Mum: "Ye'd better sit quiet, if y' want to go out." . ; Discreet silence resumes; and continues, during which George, sotto voce, intimates' to 'Erny that- he'd better not be too sudden,*' an intimation which evokes.from Erny a suggestion (also, sotto voce), that George might 'have some "jmself." Further developments to the- interlude are interrupted by a voice from the back door. ' • ' '- - . .

Mum: "What's that, Dad?" | Dad (forte): "I say I don't like the look o things. It's' comin'- up a southerly. Intense depression in the kitchen. Dad.oomes in again. • Mum (resignedly): "I suppose we'd better stop home then." ■ Dad (irritably): "Give us a chance. Aobody s talfan' about stoppin , home." (btnkes a mateh on the edge'of the kitchen door, and lights bis pipe) •Spose we take a bit o' tucker and git out to Lyall Bay?" ... , j Erny: "Hear, hear." More discreet demonstrations of approval from the others.. ...

Dad (to Mum).: "That : Erny'e too sudden altogether. How does ■he get hold jo , them remarks?" Muin: "I'm sure I dunno—school I s pose." •.' . ..■■■■ ■ . . . jDad (heroically): "Well, get ready and , no noise, or it's all off, d'ye hear?" Family: "Yes; Dad." ■ m (full iof bn siness).: Ivy and luyrtle, you girls clear away and wash up. George, git the mbrnin' wood arny, give yer father's boots a clean an keep away from George. If you boys start scrappin' we'll all stop 'ome an it s goin , t' be sech a nice day, too. Xβ can have all the fun ye want w'en ye git t' the ;beach.. W'en ye've all done; :.git-;tidy.: as' quick's ye can, and don't" keep yer father waitin'. Sou goin! t , shave, Dad?" • ■ DadV "S'pose I'll'have to;" '■' Mum • Well, yer razor's on the mantel.piece with yer, brush. ' Ye'U find- th' soap_in th , ,scullery, and yer strop's' hangin' on th'.peg in th , . passage-r-I had t' put if there out o' George's way yes'day." , ■ ■■ . ; ■

Dad: "Wot was 'e doin 3 with it, anyhow?" ' ' ' ■ Mum: "It was ' wot was Lβ goin' t' do with it?' 'E didn't 'ave it more than half a minute. Now, I'll have t' get Bubsey ready. If ye want anything, sing be in th , front bedroom." ■ ■ : • . (Exeunt Onmes.) Soeno 2. Car stopping-place at Clyde Quay. Holiday crowd, picnic-baskets, pushcarts, haversacks. Weather, "set fair." Dad, mum, and suite, in the middledistance, advancing upon the stoppingplace.' ■ ■'■;,. First Male Citizen (pessimistically): '"Era's another mob. Th' trams'U-be chock-a-block."

Second Male Citizen (optimistically): "Cheer up, Bill. It'll be all th , same a 'undred years 'ence." First Young.Lady: ''Did you.bring your bathers, Elsie?" Second Young Lady: "Ra—ther. But, I say, do you think it's quite safe out there?" '' First Young Lady: "Oh, well, you mustn't take risks,.you know. Besides, the City Council has put lifebelts on the beach." Second Young Lady: "All the same, I wouldn't like- to have to be rescued, yon know. Wouldn't it be just too dreadful? Oh, dear! just look at this crowd coming! The cars will be simply packed." , Enter Dad, mum, and family. It is plain that hasty preparations and a hurry-scurry- for the car have somewhat frayed Dad's temper and fuffled mum's composure. Dad looks-dour, Mum is flustered. ' ... , :■ "Well," says mum, "we've got 'ere, any'ow," and 'she places Bubsy on the ,footpath with a sigh' of relief.* . .Dad drops a bulging kit and a big basket heavily on the ground, pushes his hat off his brow, and eyes the crowd] with disapproval. "A fat chance we've got o 'gittin'.'a eent in th' car," he observes, disgustedly. ':'■.-'■. "Nov' mind, Dad," says Mum, "we'll squeeze in somew'ere." , Dad grunts, (but the arrival of the car imposes upon him the necessity of boating tho crowd in the interests of his family. The car is nearly full as it is. Dad grips the handle-bar of ono of tho compartments of the palace-car, and slams back the door. "In hero!" he shouts, over his shoulder. Tho family rallies to the , summons, whilo the occupants of the compartment—three on one side and four on tho other—stare most unhospitably.: Ono of tho three is an elderly gentleman, who is visibly disinclined to make room. "H-m!" he coughs, "I.am afraid there is no room in hero." "Shift un, or shift out." says Dad, and tho elderly gontlomnii, somewhat gingerly, "shifts up." Dad looks round. "You and Rubscy sit here." ho says to Stum, who glndlv obeys. Dad stands up nt tho far end, tho big basket and tho bulpy kit at his feet, while the rest of "his offspring take up tho space between tho peats, and manage to retain their, couilibrium with more or loss success, while tho car swings round tho curves of the line.

II Dolce Far Niente. By-ind-by the car rounds the bend of the Ly'all Bay Road, turns down Coutts Street, and. then swings round into the beach line towards tbo great rollers that thunder upon the sands at Lyall Bay, while the deep boom of the breakers—the ocean's roar—is borne upon the onr by'a cool southerly smelling of the brine. The car at last stops, right on the beach, and its occupants disperse in various directions. Dad leads the way tea sheltered nook

among tho sand-hills, which he propose*, to make his headquarters for the day* and there the bulgy-kit, the big.basket, Mum, and Bubsoy are duly deposited. Myrtle (hopefully): "Kin we go an'paddle, Mum?" Mum looks at Dad, -who is lying stretched at full length on the soft eand, at peace with : the world. . "I s'pose so," she 6ays. The girk rapidly divest themselves .of. their boots and stockings, and scamper down to the-' surf.

Mum then turns to the boys. "Y«* bathin' trunks are in th'big basket. Mind ye keep well in. ■ It ain't no use takin risks; even-if ye 'can ■ swim. Mind,- now!" She then pins up Bub-' skirts, and lets her roll about the sand, and-after another glance at Dad settles down to her well-earned holiIldolcefar niente—but what a job it was getting them out there 1