"PUNCH" CONCERT.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 746, 19 February 1910, Page 13

"PUNCH" CONCERT.

>■ -AMUSING"TELEGRAMS": FBOM PUBLIC MEN. - The following ' imaginary ; telegrama of regret from, absent' guests were read 1 by -Mr. Walter Emanuel, of '"Punch," at the smoking v cbnoert . of i the :'London.' -Sketch; Club:—;. .; : :'vV-;;■': : ; jMr.vAsquith.—Kegret very much, havo to go to the country. '. V. ..Mr: Lloyd George; 1 vtires fromi,' Billingsgate—Too busy another speech. - V Mr.- Herbert Gladstone.—Sorry, preparations;'for my, now office- take up .all my •tiine.; Please deny silly .Tumour - that, in becoming Governor-General;.;, of l South ■Africa will be raised to: peerageunder title of Lord Majuba.,-■ . : : Lord Bosebery.—l oonsidor • your elub tho finest institution in Gne&t Britain— . the. only one..', which. can6avo country from..Slough of Despond.- V; Begrat' cannot' see my way to' lend it my support ; Mr. Winston Churchill.—Am probably going to 6ee the Whip to-night, But this time at Drury Lane. ■'■ Lord Cromer.—Nof going ots. Too upset by. fum 'people are making about. a fellow pro-consul's words, "D tho, oon6equehces."/.Am sure he ; used the expression only in an Aesim.ii t*mse. . ' Mr. Ore will bo hero. Ho wires—"Cannot'tome."'. ts''

• Sir: Ernest: Shackletoin, in regretting his inabilityi.to',be present, eaya—May"interest you to hear that not only havo I given name of Asquith to mountain in Antarctio cani.'also.''naming:..the low-ly-, ing country-..Ure Plain. -.. ; ' Commhnaer Peary asks—Are any other diuooverers of.North:Pole expected? " 'Dr. Cook—l have earned a Test and hiding. ■ Please deny I- am on Riviora. Still' out', in -'tha-: oora. • ■■■ - :

The Kaiser—Sorry,; fob, busy with, my Dreadnoughts;;and - other' proparatioiis for peace _ ->. ; Abdul' HamidrrEegret impbssfblo .to get away. - - - : Mr. Eennerley Eumford.—Can think of nothing but case. J, Hope; public opinion, is with me. Eemember George. Edivardes barred offending' ori-tics -from his theatre.' ■ T'-gayo him -'a. box-sjn,' the'ears.' Tho Censor, of Plays.—Absolutely. impossible. Dj> to my -.eyes trying 'to dis-'-cover bluoncss of Maoterlmcks "Blue Bird." Mr. Gilbert- Chesterton.—Regret impossible to" loavo - Fleet Street; till widened.

Mr.' George Bernard Shaw.—Shall ho delighted to coine,'if may make a epoech. i ' A r large number ; of peers.;wir« .that they would . oome if . the; secretary would for-ward-their omnibus fares. --,