JUDICIAL JOKES.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 734, 5 February 1910, Page 15

JUDICIAL JOKES.

: STORIES' ';OF HUMOUR'' FROM, ~THB -l':-' ''."-BENCH; -;.'-;' ' ■ . \ It was .many years ago, and-'Lord: Young l fixed a commissioner ;to sit. r in Glasjjow. : ;. < Whom..db you, propose to appoint .'•: yoiir - commissioner ?'• askei. his Lordship. The .reply-.of. counsel .was, , "Mr. .':Scott. Dickson, my -•. Lord." '"•:" An excellent''choice," was.- the. ansvrer.-from the Bench..v'V'And he Knows thelariguage, too."f.,Glasgow.had:a."language": in those .'days,;, apparently, '.not, a com-. . : mon /'dialecL" ; :;.v.: :..-■ .'•'

. ■ Lord Mansfield: once presided: at a'trial: consequent upon a collision: of two ship's at sea,, when'a,common sailor, in giv-: ing.his 'evidence, in tho: case, said, "At

the time:l was standing;abaft the binnacle." ..Thereupon'his-Lordship; with a proper desire ito master /the'..facts;, observed, "Stay,' stay a, minute, witness. 1 You' say that at. the time in question you' l were, standing- abaft : the binnaclo; : Now,, tell me,: where is 'abaft, the binnacle'?"-. .•:■■■..','-;.•'■,.".'.'. ■.'.■.;•'•. .;'.' "-■■';.:' .

.; This:.was'too much for .the gravity of, "tho salt,"; who-immediately,-.before entering the.witness-box had been-refreshed. witVa: big dose of -neat rum.' Removing; his/eyes '.from'the'; Bench: and turning round upon; the. orowded court,"'with an expression of surprise; he exclaimed at the top of. his voice, "This is a : fine"man for.a; Judge! He wants me.to:tell him '■whore 'abaft the binnacle' is!'" v, Lord. Mansfield quietly retorted, "Well, my-friend, you must fit me formyflffice. by: telling mo .where'.'abaft .the binnaolqis; you've already shown, me: the moan? .ing. 6f half-Seas, over!"' ■ '': ; . ; ..-.-•.

■v Lord Erskine, too, could perpetrate: a. :judicial; joke., as ■ occasion suited...Diir-.-ing the interval betweenhis appointment, and his : first- ; appearahc6>;in;,tJio-::,C6urt; of pharicery,::Ko made a jocose pretenco of '"reading - ; up" 'for- his ..nety.duties. ! Cau'gnt'-:'wlth''''"Cruise's-.Digest'':-.of the laws, relating' tb-'real property •. open' in his : hand, he observed to, the, visitor "'-jtho had interrupted .'his studies, • "You see, I' am : taking ,a: little • from ■' my .cruiso ! daily without'any prospect of ; coming to the, oiid'of-,it."':-. ...'■-: .: ..:.'■ ' ■;■ Lord..Thurlpw ;'also:'had 'a .pretty' ; wit." Wheu- ho was; at Cambridge his..tutor saidt "Sir,. T'riever'':c6hiel: to the [window 'without, seeing: you: 'idlihgjin ."court," - whereupon", the 'young,' student,: retaliated; with,'. Sir,. I.: never,- comos.inl'o' .the' court :without; s'eoirig you;'idling.:,at: the ,window;",:.. To'.,'this'.: tutor;•Thiirlow, 'after-. '.wards : gave av.yaluable piece of .Churchproferment..: ■- .':. ; :..!': . -'i

: When, he Vas Attorney-General 'Thurlo'w met- an old-'schoolmaster ;whom-he detested, and ■' abstained from returning his-bow.':; "Sir, s'uroly you have Inot-'for--' gotten' 'me ?" was- the; dominie's Salutation'.:: The: reply ; :promptly came, "I. ani not: bound to .'recollect every : scoundrel who chooses to', reopllect, me.-':.:' .'■'-.

:;Thib "bloody .Chiof-Jnstice" Jeffreys >vas ratheiv grimiin his humour, and when- he heard that a solicitor from whom.ho had; received his .first ■ brief . had" boastfully remarked, in allusion ■ to' past services,' "My. -Lord. Chancellor!■':;i-; made him.". Jeffreys replied, "Well, then, I'll.' 'lay. my•inate.by,:the.hoels,'' and forthwith committed- his former client and patron to the Fleet •.:' .;■:.:,:.: .■;'./>.-:■

/But the hanging/Judge, had." not, always the best of tho jokei .'He' once interrupted -tho-venerable lawyer Mnynnrd : with the remark, "You-.hb.ve lost.your ;kh6wledge of law; your "memory, I tell ■ you, :is failing 'through- old- age." v Maynard quietly answered,' 'fYes, Sir; George, ■•I. :havo.' forgotten. t more; law /.than you' .ever : learned; hut ."allow, .mo to say, I - have; not forgotten''much.." ' ' '.'■* .-

Lord Chelmsford-had- also' a happy, knack of. witty response. 'According to Grantley Berkeley", in his . "Liie and Recollections," his Lordship wis walking : down' St. James's Street'ono.-day, 'when he/ was' accosted, by . a,-stranger, ; who exclaimed;., "Mr. Birch, .I-.'.believof"; ..-' : '.'lf.- you helievd ..that,-; sir; ..you'll believe anything," : replied .'the. Chancellor, as he passed on. ': .-'■'-.- ,; .;'" "■ '