CONUNDRUMS.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 698, 24 December 1909, Page 13

CONUNDRUMS.

. Where, I does -.begin ?—A't^■; G. (sea). - What • man do most men: admire ?—Wo-man. ■ When-was Adam married?—On his.wedding •Eve.- - ~ • ' '. ; ■ When/is:a;newsp,ape'r. the-sharpest?—'When-it is.filed. .. y;: .'What .smells-.most -in*; a r perfumer's shop ?— Tlie nose. '.' " . ' . When is a pie like a poet?— When it is Browning. ■' , When are'- ships.like-infants?—When in their •slips. - - - When is a'silver oup. likely to run?— When it is chased. - , .- .- , . - : is ': that'; of'-.which', the. eominon' sort is best?— Sense. ;. " ■ What is:the best.way to-keap a man's love? —To return .it.. .. ! ' Why,is: education like:a, tailor?— Because, it forms our habits. . ' • - are the. most ■: difficult' ships to conquer ?—Hardships.'.;" ; '.- v , -. '■ I'lli tell: yottisomething"! that'-.will ticMe you ?— What?—A feather. '•;:;.; ' When .is, a'- sKeep.*; like ; ink P—When ! you' : take it-up;into.tho pen.. . ' ..- 'Whon does -a-mon have four-hands?— When he.doubles.his.fists. ■ : .! . " ' ' • a. trnan thinnerthan - a'lath ?—When he's'. a-shaving. , • , • ': What- country is 'like a' happy dog ?—America (atmerr};-cur). ; • . .When,is:it-best to .lose your temper?— When it'is.'a''ta'd,6ne..' When is ';a soldier.': not half a' soldierP—When he's in quarters. ; :.; : i -. 1 - : : ■ When'may' ; a/ohair dislike" you?— When-it'can't bear you., , ' V.:' •, When: are;your eyes',no ■ eyes?— When the wind, makes them .water. i..;:; A.Wliyus 'Coffee like a dull axe?—lt must, bo ground. before' it is used, . • ;' . 'Which;cqhsohant.'is, in six letters, tho name of a, goddess?—The.Hi,is;f*-•■: When.does ho havo threo hands?— When ho gets a''littlo.. behind .hand;': .v, v.How can : you 'spell" Londonderry . .id seven loiters ?—L qn'. Don Derry. : , • 'SWhat table has .not- a- leg -to-standi upon?— The multiplication table. V;What .'is that which' -never , uses' its- toeth':for eiting purposes?—A-comb.', ' 1. ' ' ■ . Why . is a kiss like . a ;scandal?—Because it goes' from;mouth to mouth'. Why is.a pig's tail 1 like the letter, KF—Because,: it : is tno : ohd of., pork. ; What would be mostv'useful bn:the' canon. - ' When 'is.a' person obliged to. keep his word? iio. one will ,tako'it. '': . ' ,' : j What is. the riddlo. of riddles ?—Life, because we riiust 'all : givo it up.: ■ i. : iv -Which • consonant frequently, signifies,; in .six letters, to -.alleviate?—S often. -~i ' If-,a .barrel.weighs can you fill it with tb-'make.'it- 7lb;—Holes. • :.. -. ■

\ • What- is-a'-kiss?—A- receipt:given.■ by ,a: lady "payingyour addresses. ' . , . Why ms a crow a brave bird?— Because ho never, :'sh'ows; .the , white,., feather. i; '.Why is- an elephant .liko. an oyster?—Bo cause neither can , climb a tree. i.Why ismy; sweetheart like 'a ten-guinea hat? —Because she is. vor.v dear. . r Whati part: of .ispeecii -'are shopkeepers most anxious-.to .dispose,' of.'—Articles.. ,• ■: Why is a: nobleman like a book ?—Because •ho has' a ! 'title;,and''severßl : pages. is. ;an- orange, like a .church steeple?— Because we have a peel'from it. . . . 'Why. is, ia'i widow like' a ■ gardener ?—Becauso she.tries'to.get:rid.of her : we«ds. .'Who?.,may 'marry .many',a- wife, find yet.live .single all'.his life?— A.' clergyman. ' Why .is the - letter : ,1". like a young spendthrift ?-rßecause I'it;, makes 'pa pay. ~,: . :WKy,: can '■ ivo send, no more/ dispatches :■ to Washington ?—Because he is dead.'. , .' Why is an umbrella like a : pancake ?—BocauSe it .is seldom seen .after. Lent. .: . :■ Where was Adam going when: he. was in .his thirty-nmth year?—lnto his fortieth.; "j\Why. is a',peacpck*like:the figure 9?-r-Because it:.is;,. nothing, without- its tail. ■: •.. .■ How.is it known.that Adanuwas a provision dealer r—He disposed of a spare-nb. :In 'what single vowel may anything sense-less-be described?—lnane-(in an, e). • / What;,three -letters collectively, in - five lottors, denominate a spirit?—Br-and y. : Why is.a schoolmistress like'the letter C?— Because'.sho. : forms .lasses into, classes. ihen : .went scooting; two; got .game;, what didi,the other got?—Ho got homo, i : Why is • a baby like .av gale '■; of ,it begins with a snuall >. -. Why,: is , your . shadow like a false' friend?— Becauso.it'only follows.you in sunshineiWhen is a sermon like a round shot ?—When it comes from the canon's mouth; ; . What did the spider -do - when- he-came out of-the .-Ark?.—'Took .a ! fly and went home; ■ v,Why -was,-Rnth ruthless to Boaz?—Because she pulled his ears and' trod on; his 'corn; . [. .Of."what.-, part- of. London does a lamo - man remind ;us?rOf Cnpplcgat e (cripple gait). 1 ■ . Why,do carpenters.believe there: is no such thing ,as stone ?—Because they never saw it . When do husband and wife chango places?— When sho ,comes down and blows him up; . Whj are-.the honses of bald people easiest to break;into?—Becauso their locks aro fow ■ Why. should a man. nover ' toll his secrets in a cornfield .•'—Becauso.; so. many ears are there ; vWhat .magazine .would:- be likely • to:' give the report of ,a. fire? —A. powaer magazine. . .Why IS .a seamstress always a deceptive woman ?r-Beoause she is never what she seams' . Why should ai complaint from a chicken be an 'insnlt?—Becauso it would be fowl language .Why IS an extracted tooth like a thin" forgotten .'—Because "it' has gone: out of your head. ■ • Which is: the strongest day in the week?— Sunday, ; because', all' the; rest are week; (weak) days. - - ' Why is a' banker's clerk' -necessarily wellinformed ?—Because -he . is continually taking h'OCOS. . - T • • What is the dilferenco between-tlio North and faoutlr Poles?— All tlio difference in the world. . -~ ~ What is that which.' never .asks any Questions, ; and', yet many answers?— The door-bell. .' ' ' Why.'is'.a bald.head-like heaven?—Becauso -it: is a bright and shining spot, and there's no parting there. .. How would y6u Bpeak of a. tailor'when you didv'not Teniember. his name?—As Mr. -So-an-So (sow and sew). . ' Which" is - easierto spell—fiddle-de-dee or •fiddle-de-dum ?—Tho former, I '' becauso it is spelt with more-e's. . - -Whycannot - a '.deaf '■ man be '• legally ■ convicted?— Because; it 'is 'not - lawful' to ' condemn a 'man. without.a hearing. .. . , ; ",When.- Giles's,.:fanri:^'.'.'.was- burnt';down,■.-':wh'at -part .of; the house • escaped ?—Tho ■ chimney fluo '(flcw) and : -'tlie,'doors'iboiWd, : • , .'r.'Why 'iwciuld some /snakes make 1 good' story', tellers ?-BecttUMthey "get' off; a - rattlinir-' soo'd thing'ln.the'thftre■ of :