THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 461, 20 March 1909, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. (By M.C.K.) • The people who expected that solidity, stolidity, sobriety, solidarity, and safety would bo' the leading characteristics of the new Ministry are much alarmed at the daring theories of Mr; • Hogg. The cause .'of their alarm is the following passage from the report of the Minister's reply to the deputation of unionists, who besought him to observe that ours is an ill-made universe, furiously revolving on an ungreased axle: The Minister: "I am only giving you my opinion as Minister for labour. I think it is dangerous ,to rush to extremes." Ho had spoken freely, and he would speak .with equal freedom in regard, to the next matter that had been montioned. Lovers of prudence will be shocked to learn that Mr. Hogg is not tho only member of the Ministry who is breaking away from established traditions in this revolutionary fashion. Although attempts have been made to hush up the incident, it is well enough known that Mr. Buddo informed a group of farmers the other day that it was • most unwise to count one's : chickens before they are,. hatched. He fejt that circum- ; stances fully warranted him in going tho extreme length of suggesting 'that it is not the part of a wise man to leap in the dark. Sir Joseph Ward, it is also reported, has stated in public that a stitch in time saves niho. He was proceeding to speak with equal .freedom on other topics when he suddenly realised the necessity for caution. Confidence in Dr. Findlay _has been shaken by his indiscreet .loquacity'in discussing .the problem of the criminal. "Speaking for myself," he is reported to have said, "but with all the responsibility of a Minister, I feel impelled to state that neither burglary nor arson is becoming. to a gentleman. There is no profit in backing and filling on a question like this." It is widely felt that the Ministry needs to be watched very carefully. "Referring to the financial stringency, Mr. Buddo said that he had seen slumps before,' but they gradually, righted / themselves. There was : no cause to be downhearted about it, after the season's splendid harvest, and the extraordinaiy buoyancy," or butter."—News item. 3 iVThen your heart is full of'gloom at the evidence of doom, That makes the outlook terrible and tragical, ; With the money market tight and your pocketagrowing light In a manner that is nothing less than magical, iWhen you turn your shrinking eyes on the disheartening horizon, And see the gloom that absolutely utter is, Brace your heart by thinking hard of the joyous .

state of lard, t And how glorious the buoyanoy of butter'is. What if Germany is arming in a manner-most alarming? . - • \ "What-if Labour shakes the pillars of society? What if bills are falling due, and disaster falls on you, And woe of every possible variety? .What, in short, if all is black? Mr. Buddo's at our j back,. . To assure us .with a heartiness unvarying Of the bounding state of cheese; and he bids ns. find our ease • In the, smile upon the folk who go a-dairying. Though the railways never pay,! and the country's, all astray, V' ' ,V-. .. And everything seems perfectly detestable, And your spirits droop and drop when your .very breakfast 'chop . Is scorched and underdone and indigestible, Pause a. little, pause and think, ete,-you have recourse to" drink; Buy. a pound of. dairy butter .at- the grocery—' Note its glee, and say if you still believe.the country's ill?— s ' . . ' ' >... I'm certain that 'you/ answer will be: "No sireel" , ' A Christchurch architect has an' idea that seems limitless in its promiso-of' good results'. "Could our. own Government," he says!" "be induced to forego the paltry sums which it now_ secures by the advertisements on our stations and convert them-in the same way ■ into beauty spots, whsvt a grand opportunity there would bo for through- travellers' from the far north to the extreme south to .see, as they passed from < station .to ■ station, the various,-native ..flora (iommon-to the various districts., It,would.add vastly-to the interest and to the enjoyment of the journey, and would .be more calculated to induce traffic than any number of' tourist bureaus." Now that, the Government, has had. its attention directed to the cash value of .aesthetics,-, we may expect improvements in all the State Departments. If only the telegraph' offices were fitted up with Liberty furniture,' and concerts arranged, there would/be an enormous increase in the business, and the clerks would compete with each other as songsters. The value of beautiful postage : stamps in stimulating the public to use the post office is too obvious to require demonstration. No doubt some chemical process may be discovered by which State coal can be made to produce, pyrotechnic' displays—naval battles, Catherine wheels, set pieces and fiery serpents—when ignited. The result' would be an enormous increase in'the consumption of the coal; and the beautiful display by the engines on the' Manawatu line would remove the public's objections to the all-night journey to Johnsonville. Mr. Hogg, we know, has undertaken to make the roads and bridges' works of art. It is to be hoped that he will see how greatly the use of the roads will be popularised if they are bordered by an unending line of- flower-beds. An orchestra at Addington, ■ paid' for with the money that would bo saved by dispensing with the General Manager's department, would repay its cost a thousandfold in the increased efficiency of the workmen. Limelight lectures in the savings banks would induce the people to restore the deposits that they have been taking out. Thei'e is really no limit to what can be achioved by i systematic appeal to the public's love' of seauty. The wonder is that the thing was lever thought of before.

Tho Eev. Dr. Gates, of California, has arrived in Auckland, and delivered his opinion upon tho stato of the country. "I- have watched your streets, particularly just aftei 5 o'clock," he said, "and it was almost astonishing to see no drunken men about. It was astonishing also to see no dowdy women or girls.' There were no pinched faces, and no strained and anxious looks. The shopgirls and factory-girls, well dressed, bright, and happy looking, behave with a proper dignity. TLey all seem to-be smiling. . . . . I am obliged to confess that i the 'wild and reckless' legislative experiments of New Zealand, that I heard about, seem to me to be abont.tho sanest thing in national policy that I have dropped across."

A song of smiles And woman's wiles: Arrived from the m TJnited States, , . , Armed with a notebook. Dr. Gates (A reverend), Besolved to spend An hour or so to Investigate Tho work of, our wild-cat lcgislat- . Ors; And tho girls went by in scores. No tipsy person caught his eye: Only a mass of Girl went by, And, "Why?" • Said Dr. Gates, " what lies beyond The sugary shining smile Of each brunette and every blonde And girls of overy style?— The lovely , laws, Of course." ' . ; And he noted down for the edification, Benefit, good, and gratification Of the eager; restless American nation - ' ■ That the dental pearls Of the smiling girls Are proof that Messrs. Hogg and Buddo are statesmen of the first order, and that the ' statutes are tho embodiment of wisdom, and so forth.

But Dr. Gates " (From the States) Should know that here (and may X 'dare To add. it's usual everywhere?) Tho smiting millinery girl Who girca ua cardiac palpitation And sets tho masculine head a-whirl Is not the work of legislation. 6he's thinking, argue aa you will,

Of Bill— • ■ • ' The Bill that is, or olso the Bill potential. The Bill who'll one ' day - buy her hatß and

blouses: ■ ■ Not Parliamentary Billa—they're; not essential— But just plain Bills in, trousors. The smiles tho Dr. saw Mean nothing more Than that a girl With teeth o£ pearl Will always smile. And, in a whilo, When all our laws are swept away, • • ■The smiles upon the girls will stay, And always, will, . ,■ • . > \ Provided Bill " ' ■ • . ' . Can survive the disappearance-of the public debt and tho fall in tho cost of 1 living'and.'the other calamitous results that will follow the ending of the wild-cat legislation Of this nation. "Yes, your Worship," said, a witness - in tho Ch'ristchurch Magistrate's Court, ''but it is very difficult to get at. tho truth about a woman." "I agree, it' is 'very , difficult," said the Magistrate,' "but there must" be no doubt in this Court." 'Nothing can be more satisfactory than this evidence, that our" Magistrates set so high a standard. . If the Clinstchurch Court is-in the happy position' of being able to read woman like an open I book, thore is no reason why it should 1 not solve a 'few much simpler problems. Mr. Bishop,- S.M. ; would greatly oblige the public by-informing us why Mr. Buddo was made a Minister. Ho may then proceed; to smooth©- out the creases from the puzzled public's forehead by telling us tho real truth concerning Sir Joseph Ward's real opinion on the financial position. The dingo who. escaped from the Zoo is too dead to wonder where the weakness : was in his theory that Mr. Bates's house was a safe refuge, but the public is interested in the'mistaken sagacity of the animal. Quite a large demand exists for the truth about Mr. Ronayne's memorandum on tho Addington' workshops. These are questions which cause honest folk to pass sleepless nights, . and Mr. Bishop would, do better service in answering them' than in solving the mystery of Woman, especially as once hor secret was found-out, She would merely change and remain as mysterious as ever. At the same time, it is impossible rot to admire the sublimity, of• Magisterialideals; 1 and the heroism .which animates the Bench - - ■