IN AN IDLE HOUR.

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 397, 5 January 1909, Page 6

IN AN IDLE HOUR.

I OBSERVATIONS AND IMPRESSIONS. ' These are the dog-days, and were it' not for jthe obiquitous garrotter, the town would he 'as flat'as—as—well' hardly '<a' pancake,'-for' that would be absurd —a.silly certainly not stale beer,-for.'there is no respectability in a beery simile; before' all things, let me.be respectable/ "Were'it not for the'ubiquitous- garrotter—l insist upon the 'garrotter—the town would , be-as , cheerless'as'a'last year's-bird's nest';.'Tis ahi:ill wind that' blows nobody'-gopd'; purveyors-of■• oaken staves,'; "knuckle-dusters/ , ',; and re-vplverß-have beamed abross:their 'counters at. a large number of "nervy" .people, lately ,:'and : . heayen'help the' innocent citizen who seeks, to borrow a :matoh' from , one-! of ;'these'nervy people on some.dark night. . I.met.a couple of . young gentlemen; f rom , ( the. :cpuntry;..the other day; and. happened \ to .observe,-, as" , I-left them?'"Well/ , don't get garrotted before you go-; home.".jThey- , 'smiled mysteriously;:.'andpatfed', their''_Uip-ppc^ets.. : ':"l-don't 'tMnji;' , ' said : one • 0f,.; them.,...' 'We're,' both;'; Keeled JV,' "Heeled"... is an Americanism, , : you will- , observe. ;■• -. The..;advent .vof-::theV-garrotter.-' has given vogue:- to the-language -of. the wild-and'-.woolly ■ West. .'.'.You'd; better pack •»•: gun,",, said; a -.man. to■ me' the, other day ; apropos-of-the .garfotter.;..-I accepted his advice-and,purchased .a: revolver.- 'There , is a f ascitiation- about; a lethal ■ ■ This particular'; ''shootin'-iron". .was '■■&' five-1 chambered 32-calibre,,-staking. ; a-., .cartridge which would.:penetrate the toughtest garrotte'r that'-.ever . stepped ; the r earth',. Vand'iwor.k such, havoc.-In -'his.'interipr that he .would probably, die.; .. : The..tr^tn^rido-us. 'possibilitips. of .the, sinister .we.appri;. filled .me...wilt' i , inttderdus lust.'i'l-wallred'ho'me that •night'.possessed'with an :; ihte'nse..desiro:'t6-.meet l 'with garrotters ,and- ".plug", saw! nbjihing more:- alarmiftg 'than, a ;policemari , . Nor".' was-■■..; 1...: alone;; , in', , this- condition' or ! :mind. ".• Another',;-man, "before '.leav-;'the'v-.office,/;;/produced ''". an . '-o'alcen stave, [which sWas.so a';Walki-.. ■i.ng;/stjckJas , 'J^-\resemble J ; , -ttpre.Velpfely ) ,, i : tKe'. trunk : 6f i ..-a;'ypun'g'':ti;ee'.' i iThia lie , 'flourished ■abbtttihiß , hea'a; ; in',a'vniannei: ;, behold that;'.'had ■a,.garrott«r..Eeen : him,:!h'ewPuld baye: : .faintod pn-,ihe ; spot.. '-"Allv-this. is really so;:alarming" that.we..shall;be •much ■reHev^d\.Wfpre'.-';any'\BHoffendiffg^citizm ; 'viß'; up," 'or -has his^skull : "c'racke(l!' : 'to hear' that; the. garrotters'have beenca'ught; ' cpn- r vjcte'd,, flogged,'and sent;to .prispn.;^ye'particularly vhopeVthft; they^shall V: be well flogged,';." '■"'■'■' ; :v,v "■••'" ■■'",' ■■■- .'■;".-;

A> little '.indiscretion;, -'riot- wholly uricoriiectedrwjth; a'.o'ertaipV brand .of. fine.old. tbAailtempdrary.- ispmewhe're .jn attack- was .severe, ■ but., merited, , r arid-- in ■the extremity' in.various-ways," Manlike,.! dispensecl/fifst'. «u?h.; tAirigs.l., could:easily ;do .without, ibuti. ?.s the enemy evinced.'up: signs of abating.the vigour-.of itho ;campaign,'..l.summed,: up all I possessed,- and escliewe'd'ciEarettesrand-m'eat for'.one'. lb.nfi QisnS^' ,dayV-'j;; will :;endure: ; :much ; before'-; I repeat .Ihe^Berience. ..' About .the", jniddle • .of. that particular, .'day, ;il", bethought'-; me , ' of .din-: rier-ra: .dinner '..without. beef; without .mutton/ .w#^D]i^t^ ■^rk;.■.^w;ithoui;i<>y/^' i ili,' i jJW 19} '■$<?..nation; 'is.»built.'■ up,bff; ai. : 'io\in- : me::to_add,:porridge 3,nd:.pptatpes. : :;;Ha'ving decided,.: .therefore,: upon.- a '■■. dinner .'without lneEtti''."l• sought'ah establisb'nient :: where' ; 'this form;pf■ abstemiousness : is-'bonsi'dered a■ bar-;' ■dinal.!yirtue,:-:selectid .'a 'table• furtive ■cornerb'f'the. room; 'sat' down, ■ arid surveyed ■ the•: room.' -I'never,,-'in : all.my life,,.dined v ih such a-dismal;, The':rp,om'itself was 'tastefully furnished;. arid. ■ the ; * tkbles'; were ' artistically'arranged;'but wlieii jnyfeyea'fell' upon.'its,-occupants',' the feeble 'spark' , of gas--tronomic -virtue '"which 'ha'd '■• been''- kindled within rhe'.jdied instantly;; and':bnly'the at)- ; prqacb/'bf -thb , waitress-prevented"mo"• fronr ■ departing' with'' ; :air:h , aste.y''As'I ■looked.'-at' •them'fli'ealised.'that I was',not one'pf-them';-that.-I' was/ ; )n imanner of ■"speakirigi 1 ' an out-' cast, aipanah-- , They-were and- they,' wert'' hugging"'v : i;hbm6elve|' in'"the fervour'of'wh'a't; i6'theihr*'a;i' ; a':nMyeiigionl I .had beeri.drffen th'ej 1 come .there'; to :'Worshipi'':: ;, a r •waitress ..brought.me' ay: idinnerj" 'and as-'I ate !'t comprehend thVfeelings of myvneighbonrs. ■; The:;food: was--good; and ? -well oookedy-but there was lackingvftat 'satis--■TIS- a^? u / ' wn ich,-nothing;-'but -tK«juices of -^the; -.killed beast 'can Supply;' and .some of'these people; ■wh'o rcould'':prbb\ably:l.haveMeateii:'a:'heavier'''dinner'HKa'n "I could, were martyring'their oraving''stpiriaclis : tor; a -passing l .fad, .and- wore' cuddling" themselves.ra the'belief that'they.iwerelenioyina themselves.' '". - :: ■■■■■- ./-:■■':■-■'■■ '..■:.;*

Up till 'never ibad'an opportunity ; pf:.witnessingVan,exhibition; -by expert'mombersof .the "fancy/? , -of ■'the noble art ; 'of self-defence, as illustrated' by'-V-i i™nuly spar."'' r That'opportunity was vouchsafed to .me. at: a.; ; miscellaneous '-benefit/ entertainment organised '.in- honour, of ; a' certain celebratedij.'sport). , ,'-,when. r there"ivas : included on.;,the'. programme , ;a four-round l 'ibout• 'between'.two. lighti-weights. -.. -Needless-to ; say} this item;proved',to- be :a' bappy inspiration; for, the; .major portion ; of the'big:■ audience certainly did -. not? look .-' as • if' it '-had come >to hear the. musical part ofthe prograniine. • I knew, nothing' of the-noblis art,' nor-have-I since, experienced-any. desire -to .cultivate'any further acquaintance'."with'-its .principles'.,' 'il merely. ipurppse.; here-to '.my impressions .of the particular bout.. I .-had -the ■ good fortune to"witness. 1 ' 'I say '/goodfortune' , , for: .anything so funnyl'have not seen -for ialpng;time'. -;The—er—"bruiserei-"': as Itb&heve.they are: termed, advanced .to'the centre .of, the platform; each 'presentedV-.-a'.-huge-gloved fist -to .the ..-other, and:'shook' hands,.- and'' .-then •■■ retired 'to', his, chair. One'.was.a. lanky individual, who looked as if -the , , privations'of:, "hard training"'had wasted riot a' little', of' his'-substance. 'The other iwas a thick-set, powerfully-built' man, with a. jowl like ia. ■■ bulldog,' and r 'an '■' expression /of - canine ferocity, which was intensified, inthe'heat of the<"spar," 'and 'Ultimately 'assumed'<ari : ap-' peararico'pf malevolent \ hatred.'- , ; /Presently , they -rose,; and engaged ; in '.a'sef ies of; tactics which irresistiblysuggested 'the 'preliminary , skirmishes'of of,; fightingrcocks.'- • They varied 1 these, iat .intervals,' : by Mling on each other's 1 necks; ;a proceeding technically, known as : "clinohing."• -What- theC-advantage-was .that this-u^qvely''embface'gaye;tb v eiffi'er.or b.oth-of'.the "pugs" was not'.very clear,:b'ut : it was ■ quite certain ; that : the malevolent-looking : one cdidyriot , appreciate'-,it; - for-!'he' pushed; his : opponent 'front-him 1 -' with an air ; of ( profoiind : disgust ; Shortly:; after a•' member - M ' the. sporting fraternity,- who'-held' a-watch .in ■his hand,.'called'.!ftiine;"vahdHhe hoE^iles v';immediately .retiredVto' tht*r■?;respectiver .chairs, where -they wore fann'ed'with: towels by tlieir. solicitous attendants;- : ' The lainky'-.oiie"lay- back in "his chair, positively "■'drinking",' 'hi ! *huge mouthfulsor- air. "The. round had- left him 'breathless.'.: .The, ; other,;his,'win ] d,;in better order, sat composedly,'waiting'for'th'e, signal to-recpmmence,-while'down iri ; the ■ hall' the enraptured gaze ;of. 'something; likei; 2000 pe'o-' pie. was" concehtrated upbn' : the ;"pugs.'-i,The-.old Adam, , , the latont.barbaris'mof'the genus h'omo,; gleamed out of' a; good 'many;eyesJ For how, much.dobs bur vauntedVcivilisatiqii'and - ■refinement'count; after-allp ' ,'-.'•■'-'' i, ''.?'.